'WIBTA for not feeding people at my wedding ceremony?'
"WIBTA for not feeding people at my wedding ceremony?"
My fiancé and I have decided to get married in his home state, then celebrate and have our reception (a dinner party for 25 people) in my home state/where we live now.
The wedding ceremony itself was supposed to be 2 witnesses and us in our friend's music venue that he let us borrow for a bit since we couldn't do it at the court house. It's essentially an elopement. Ceremony, then we go about our day.
My fiancé keeps inviting more and more people to the wedding ceremony. We are up to 15 or so now. I told him to stress to people that this is just us exchanging vows with an officiant in an empty room.
There will be no food, music, drinks, or other entertainment. I am not even sure there's water available if someone wants. The venue will be closed. He tells me that he's told people this and that they want to come anyways.
I am not sure that I believe that he's adequately communicated exactly what this is to the people he keeps inviting. Some people are even FLYING in from other states for it. I am paying for 95% of this and am already at my max budget, so we cannot invite more people to the dinner party.
My worry is that these people are coming expecting something more than what it is and we are going to look like cheap AHs.
I feel embarrassed that there isn't going to be anything there for them and I worry about people being uncomfortable or it being awkward. We are not expecting any gifts, nor do we want them. If people bring them anyway, to me we especially look like AHs.
My question is - WIBTA if I keep things as is and don't offer any sort of food or beverage and just let people come? Or should I stretch my budget and at least try to cater some sandwiches or something simple.
Let's see what readers had to say:
lordfloam writes:
Depending on the length and whether it overlaps with lunch or dinner time, I think YWBTA if there isn't food or drink and you also don't inform people there won't be any.
Besides that I don't think it's that big a deal. If you let them know beforehand people can plan for it, bring snacks or their own food. Sandwiches couldn't hurt though. Make sure your man has been clear about the nature of the event, and perhaps if you believe he hasn't, create a FB group or a group chat and detail everything!
boyodee disagrees:
So long as it is VERY CLEARLY COMMUNICATED beforehand and with enough notice, YWNBYA.
NTA. I think you should seriously consider the message you are getting. You are covering 95% of the budget and your fiance keeps inviting more and more people because you are paying and he knows he won't have to pay a cent.
Why are you even contemplating spending even more money on the people he is inviting? Not a good start.
NTA. But I hope your fiance really is telling folks there will be no refreshments, music, etc. and that gifts are not expected.
NAH but I think you have to bow to the inevitable and have some kind of simple gathering with drinks and snacks for people to mix after the ceremony. But the bigger problem is not being on the same page with your fiancé - why is he doing this knowing your budget?