Bride kicks bridesmaid out of wedding for wearing a revealing dress. AITA?
When this bride fully kicks her friend out of her wedding, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for kicking out my bridesmaid for wearing a revealing dress at my wedding?'
I 27f got married to my husband 29m last week. I asked my friend from university Ava 26f to be a bridesmaid. I grew up living with my parents and extended family quite religiously and dressed modestly as my family were very strict and traditional. While I don't agree with most of their ideas, I do follow them to avoid arguments.
My parents don't share the same ideas and are less religious and have always supported me, but do ask me to respect our extended family's policies on dressing and culture.
Ava is a very passionate feminist and I know she wouldn't agree with some of my family's policies, which is why before the wedding I told her to please not say anything at the wedding and if it upsets her she can always stay closer to our group of friends. She agreed and said she was coming to support me.
I picked peach as a dress color for all my bridesmaids and told them to pick the style they felt comfortable in, as I didn't specify a particular dress or shade of peach and gave them all 4 months notice. I only asked for the dress to be modest as my wedding would include some of my extended family.
Ava said she was getting her dress custom made and never showed me a picture as it was still getting made. At the wedding, she comes in wearing a very tight, revealing peach dress.
My MOH said she would handle it and kicked her out. Ava has said that the dress was her way of expressing herself. She is not talking to me anymore, but I genuinely don't think I am in the wrong.
eta- I called Ava's dress revealing as she had a tight sleeveless minidress on. I also wear tight clothing myself similar to she wore, but I don't think that is wedding appropriate, especially as I requested at my wedding for the sake of my extended family that we wear modest clothing. AITA?
Let's see what readers had to say.
untroddenpath writes:
Agreed. A bridesmaid's main role at the wedding is being a bridesmaid, not focusing on 'expressing herself' at the expense of the bride's request. On top of that, the fact that the bridesmaid never showed OP the dress beforehand also indicates that she knew her dress wasn't going to meet the criteria of being modest and still made her role about her self-expression anyway rather than about celebrating her friend's wedding. Sounds like she suffers from main character syndrome. NTA.
kittynx writes:
Agreed. I have a semi similar situation where I’m going to a friend’s traditional Japanese wedding. I found a dress which I really liked (which would’ve been totally cool for a western wedding) and asked what she thought about it. She requested something more “understated” and sent some examples of what typical wedding guests in Japan wear.
And, no questions asked, I went ahead and bought something more suitable. Even though it wasn’t my taste, it is a lot more appropriate based on her request. It is HER wedding day and I am a guest. I am there to support her. I can always wear the original dress somewhere else. People need to be respectful. NTA.