Bride creeped out when FIL's secret GF of ten years begs to be at wedding. AITA?
When this bride to be is traumatized by her seating chart, she aks Reddit:
'AITA for not wanting his dad’s girlfriend at our wedding table?'
This November, I (32F) am getting married to my fiancé (34M). We have about 70 guests, and are currently working out the seating charts. The head table includes both his and my parents, siblings, as well as the maid of honour and best man.
My fiancé’s parents are divorced, but they each get a plus one in case they want to bring anyone. They both live about a 5 hour drive away from us and we visit them 5-6 times per year. His mother (50sF) opted to bring her close friend who she stays with when she’s in town.
Here’s where we ran into a bit of an issue. Unbeknownst to anyone in his family, my fiancé’s father, Arthur (60sM), has been seeing someone for nearly ten years. As a bit of background, Arthur has never been a big part of my fiancé’s life.
He worked long hours and preferred to spend time away from the family, often taking vacations by himself and leaving my fiancé and his mom at home.
Apparently, every time Arthur has visited us, his girlfriend has joined him. Every time, she stays in the hotel room and has never had any interest in meeting my fiancé, nor has Arthur tried to encourage this relationship. Arthur has chalked this up to his girlfriend feeling shy.
My fiancé is feeling hurt by this but doesn’t want to alienate Arthur any further. While organizing our seating charts, he suggested that his dad’s girlfriend sit at our table, rather my suggestion to seat her at another table with Arthur’s family (who were also recently told of her and have yet to meet her too).
I admit that I’m kind of an AH for this, because I’m angry that she doesn’t want to meet either of us and I don’t want her to sit at our table at our wedding if she hasn’t tried to meet us in the near decade she’s been visiting us with Arthur. So Reddit, AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
seaconfection7 writes:
NTA. Seating the gf at the head table will probably upset your fiancés mom. She might not cause a scene, but she would be upset. Either stick to your plan to seat her with Arthur's family, or don't put the parents at the head table.
jellyfishdue101 writes:
NTA. she showed no interest in getting to know your fiancé before your wedding. There is absolutely no obligation to include someone you have no relationship with in the family seating. It will feel awkward for everyone and instead of celebrating your day the attention will be on trying to figure out who this new person is sitting with the family.
pinkunder writes:
Soft YTA. If I’m going to a wedding where the only person I know is my boyfriend, I’m going to want to sit next to him. I can understand you not wanting her at the head table. I think that’s right. So suggest his dad sit next to his girlfriend with the rest of the guests and not at the head table. Those are his options.