Bride warns sister, 'YOU WILL DEEPLY REGRET SKIPPING MY WEDDING!' AITA?
When this bride is devastated about her sister, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for telling my sister it’s her loss and she will regret not attending my wedding?"
I, 30 female, am getting married in November. It’s been a day that I’ve looked forward to my whole life and even more so now because my fiancé and I have a 1 year old son and we will finally be and “official” family.
My older sister (32) and I have never had the closet relationship but I try to put effort in to be involved her life and her 4 children’s lives.
'When I was pregnant my sister offered to plan a babyshower for me but ended up canceling on me the week of. I was pretty hurt but never the less, I forgave her and moved on.
Fast forward a year later, my fiancé and I sent our our save the dates for our wedding 9 months in advance to ensure family had enough time to take time off work and make travel plans.
My sister expressed excitement about our wedding and even agreed to help do my hair the day of. A few days ago she told me she isn’t coming to our wedding and didn’t give me any reason.
I was pretty hurt so I told her that it’s her loss and she is choosing to not be involved in the important moments and that she will regret it some day. I told her that with her not following through on my babyshower and now not attending my wedding, the bridge is pretty much burned.
My sister has 4 children all under 10 years old. I am very understanding that she is busy with her kids, however, her kids were also invited to our wedding and I even planned a kids area at our reception for all the kids we have invited.
Keep in mind, all my other siblings, aunts, uncles etc. are all coming. She is the only family member not making the effort. My dad says I was pretty harsh towards her, so AITA for telling her she will regret it and that it’s her loss? AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
crankyraconteurs writes:
NTA. Not all families are going to get along. And some family members can be downright toxic.
It sounds like you gave a true effort to have a relationship with your sister but she is not reciprocating. You could try to have a conversation with her to figure out why she doesn't want a relationship, but severing ties is well within your rights.
You're always welcome to accept her back into your life if she changes, but I don't think you did anything wrong.
pippipippi9 writes:
NTA. Your sister let you down. Twice. Somehow, she thinks it's ok to cancel on you without giving you a reason, not cool. Note: this comes from a person who did not go to his brother's wedding. I gave him plenty of notice and plenty of explanations.
I also had a solid reason, as he was getting married to a woman he had repeatedly cheated on and somehow demanded me to be close to her while at the same time expecting I would keep his secret.
I did end up keeping the secret AND going LC. But - as I said - I explained I'm no hypocrite. And mine wasn't even a cancellation, it was "either you tell her and get her forgiveness (+ REAL consent to marriage) or I want no role in this charade".
silair writes:
NTA. But I have a friend who has started bailing on some big events last minute, and the group is low key suspicious there's some bigger issue like depression or abuse involved.
I think writing her off as unreliable is fair for your own sanity. Next time she offers to do something, politely decline and say "just you being there is enough" so you don't get caught off guard.
But depending on her situation she may also deserve some compassion or have someone else in the family check in on her.