"I broke up with my ex 3 months ago because of his mother. He is now willing to go no contact with her and wants me back."

This dudes family has treated me like $h!t. I was never good enough. I was in their eyes “a wannabe doctor “ that shouldn’t be one and they felt sorry for my patients. They wanted me to be less masculine because they wanted my ex to be “the man" (we're both male). I told him that if he wanted me in his life I he needed to go lc with her and accept that I would go full Nc with her. He didn’t want that and we broke up.

He showed up at the hospital I work at, waited for me to get of my shift (when we were together he got my schedule so we could see each other) and wanted to talk. He told me he missed me and that his mother “realized” that it would be good to have a doctor in the family and that my bf was an idiot to break up with me.

He told me that he was done with her and that we should be together again. Honestly I was to tired. I worked a 15 hour shift and was planning a nice date with my bed. I didn’t think I missed him because of the cr@p he put me thru but idk.

I don’t want it to go back to how it was and I have had hate in my heart for him since we broke up. Idk where I’m going with this tbh, I was going to sleep but this has been on my mind since I got home. Just had to get it of.

Commenters are weighing in:

[deleted] said:

She said it would be nice to have a doctor in the family. Not that it would be nice to have you in the family don’t forget that it’s still not about you as a person when someone shows you who they are believe them it’s never gonna change and only gonna get worse.Focus on becoming a doctor and reset your life around people who actually care about you.

MandiHugz said:

I generally think it's a bad idea in this situation. However, I do know of couples that once they cut off the in laws things worked out. Odds aren't in your favor though. Exs are exs for a reason.

Mishy162 said:

He's not going to go NC with his Mum, she thinks a Dr in the family would be a good thing now so all of a sudden he comes to see you. Do not fall for it, find someone better.

Knife-yWife-y said:

The fact that he mentions his mother's opinion as a reason you should get back together is a giant red flag that nothing has changed and in all likelihood, it never will. Also, knowing you are both male makes his mother's demand that you be "less masculine" even more laughable and inappropriate.

He later shared this update:

His mother is a nightmare to be near. She has talked cr@p about me in front of me, Made fun of my appearance, telling me to stop eating like a pig and that no one wants a pig in the family. Has told my ex that he could find someone better then some wannabe doctor and stuff like that. I will never ever let someone talk to me like that and that’s why I wanted him to be Lc and me Nc.

So here is the actual update. I talked to him yesterday, I asked him if I was really willing to go Nc with her and he changed the subject time and time again. I told him why he told me what is mother said about me being the doctor in the family and he couldn’t answer that either. I told him to leave and that we would continue that conversation tomorrow (today).

I saw him after work today. I got off at 1 and saw him at 3. I told him if he couldn’t answer any of my questions honestly then it wasn’t even worth trying. So he told me what I believe was half of the truth.

He said that he regretted everything but his mother was right (should have ended it there). I can’t be the one that act as the”man” between us and it undermines him. He told me that he can’t go full Nc with her because that’s his mother, he told me that I was childish for breaking up with him over some comments she made and told me that it won’t happen again and that he won’t let it happen.

I asked him why he came back only after his mother told him that it would be good to have a doctor in the family even tho she didn’t think I was a good one? He only said it’s true and it’s good to have one.

At that point I was fed up, im tried I work long hours and coming back to that headache was not worth it. I told him that I am a MAN and that he is one to. Told him that’s not how a relationship works between to men and that he will always be a mommas boy. I will not tolerate being talked down to or feel belittled over their internalized bigotry.

I told him that any man/woman that he might date or wants to date him can go through with that problem but it won’t be me. He begged and told me that it would make him happy if we tried and that his mother could change. No just no, I want to be with someone that loves me for me and won’t let their mothers hate make me feel like a failure and a bad person, I won’t. I’m not dating their mother.

I told him to not bother contacting me again and that I’m officially done with him now and forever! Thank you to all of you! You guys gave good advice and made things clearer and I hope all of you achieve great things in life!!