'I told my dad’s wife that I want nothing to do with her and her affair baby.' AITA?
"I told my dad’s wife that I want nothing to do with her and her affair baby."
Exact_Passenger_8819
I 17F live with my dad. My mom was battling cancer for almost 3 years… but she succumbed to it when I was 16. My mom and dad were also in the process of getting a divorce but I never knew why.
Not even a year, I’d say seven, my dad moved someone else in with her 5 year old son and they got married. She came in acting like she ran the place, she wanted all of my mom‘s things out and I went ballistic saying that she’s not coming in here throwing away anything of my mom's.
I told them when I go to college I will rent out a storage unit and then I can move it in there but for now it’s staying in her room (she had a separate room that she would go to after chemo appointments and like I said, my mom and dad were in the mess up a divorce so they were not sleeping in the same room)
A few months after she moved in I was looking through all of my mom’s stuff, so I could keep account on everything she had in case she tried again to throw anything away.
I was looking through her things and saw that she hired a PI to see if my dad was cheating and he was cheating all while she was battling cancer. He was cheating with this woman for almost 6 years. This woman is 25 years old and my dad is almost 46.
The past few months she’s been trying to get me to do things with her, she’s also tried to force me to watch her son and tries to pass it off as “sibling bonding time.” Right before my mom passed we were talking about taking a few months before I go to college, to travel the world.
Before she passed my mom set something up with my aunt so that I can still do the trip but I’ll do it with my aunt. I’m graduating in May, and as time is approaching, my aunt and I are talking more about it.
Saturday she sat us down to have a “family meeting” and she said that she should take over the trip planning from my aunt and that she’ll go with me because she’s my “mom now” and this would be good bonding for me, her son, and myself.
I shut it down immediately. I told her that this is a trip to honor my mother… my only mother because I had one and I’m not looking for another one, I told her that she’s not coming because I don’t want anything to do with her or her affair, baby, so stop trying to force it into my life.
My dad asked me why I was acting this way and why I won’t give her a chance. I told him that she’s young enough to be my sister and I don’t want anything to do with the person he was cheating on my mother with nor do I want anything to do with the baby he had on my mother while she was battling cancer.
He tried to tell me I wouldn’t understand what it’s like to be married to someone who was dealing with cancer and I asked him “Is it as bad as actually dealing with cancer and then finding out your partner is cheating on you and has a secret baby (it’s their kid, he’s my half brother)”.
He blew up at me and said I have no right to speak to him or his wife this way, and that I will be part of this family and I will be taking his wife on the trip. I told him once again no I’m not. I’m taking my aunt and he can’t do anything about it because I’ll be 18 before the trip.
Edit: When my aunt gets off of work, the first thing I’m going to do is immediately talk to her about moving my Mom’s stuff into a storage unit or into the spare bedroom that’s going to be mine when I move out…
Just until we get back so I can make sure her stuff is safe because someone said it may not be there when I get back, and I think I would completely lose it if they gave her stuff away when I was gone.
I know that I cannot keep a storage unit forever, nor can I hold onto everything of my mom‘s forever, but it is still too fresh in my heart to think about parting with any of her stuff now even down to a shirt she hasn’t worn in five years.
This is just really hard for me at this moment and it seems like I’m the only person who cares about her and her things since she’s been gone (this doesn’t include my aunt). I know that I’ll have to get rid of a lot of it but now it’s just not that time.
Also, I want to say that I do not hate nor do I mistreat my dad‘s wife’s child … I just feel indifferent towards them and I just don't want to have a connection or relationship with them.
They harbor too much hurt around my mom that I don’t want a relationship with them. He’s 5. Trust me, I know that he’s innocent and he has no clue what all of this is about. I just do not want that sort of relationship with him.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP:
Convetti
I’m so sorry about your mom. My sincerest condolences. Find a place to store your mother’s things now. They might be gone when you’re away on the trip.
The OP responded here:
Exact_Passenger_8819
I didn’t even think about this… I think I’ll ask my aunt to get a storage room for me until I can take over payments.
BeneficialNose5447
I’m pretty sure your aunt will have no problems storing your mom’s things until you have a place of your own. And if I was you, I will start putting your things in that storage as well so you basically have just the essentials. And nothing other than that everything else will be in the storage and only your aunt will have access to that.
Aggravating-Owl-8974
Is there any possibility you can move in with your aunt and take your mom’s things with you?
Your dad is living in some fantasy land where everyone is going to live happily ever after.
The OP again responded here:
Exact_Passenger_8819
I’ve gotten this comment a lot and I am going over to my aunts house later. So we can talk about getting a storage unit now because someone said my mothers things may not be there when I get back and if that’s the case that whole house is going to feel the past 6 years of anger and hurt.
ReflectionOk892
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. Unfortunately we can’t choose our parents. You dad is a piece of 💩 and so is his mistress. Go on the trip with your aunt. Store all of your mom’s belongings somewhere safe.