'I spent the day with my sister's best friend and now she's telling my parents that I'm a homewrecker.' Updated 2X
"I spent the day with my sister's best friend and now she's telling my parents that I'm a home wrecker"
iwantnone
So this all started yesterday when I (22f) had a date planned with a guy. He ended up not showing and so naturally, I texted the group chat about it (my sister is in this particular group chat). I'm guessing my sister, Sarah (26f) told her best friend, Jay (27m) about it because a few minutes later Jay texted me to ask if I'm okay.
I told him yes, just a little disappointed since I was pretty excited to try that particular restaurant. He said that he would pick me up at noon the next day so we could go eat there. I told him it wasn't necessary but he insisted so I agreed, thinking nothing of it.
Well, today he took me out as promised and while we were eating, Sarah facetimed Jay. When he didn't answer she called again, and again. He answered the fourth call and asked her what was going on. She said that she was just checking up on us and told me to call her later.
Later ended up being almost 8:00. Jay and I ended up spending the rest of the day together, hunting down some collectible dolls we both like and trying different dessert spots along the way. On the way back to my apartment, Jay asked me to change the music on his phone.
When I opened it, I saw that my sister had called him about 30 times throughout the day and texted him across multiple different apps. Jay put his phone on do not disturb after lunch so it made sense why he didn't see those notifications.
Once he dropped me off, I called my sister and asked her if everything was alright. She said yes and asked if I had forgotten to call her back sooner. I told her that I was out with Jay so I didn't get the chance, and figured it could wait since she didn't call me.
She hung up and a few minutes later I got a call from my mom. She sounded angry and told me that I should be ashamed of myself.
I said sure, but why today?
According to my mom, Sarah called her in tears, saying that she had caught Jay and I having relations in their apartment. I was so confused. I told my mom that I did not, in fact, do anything inappropriate with Jay and that I didn't even know they lived together.
I asked her to give me a minute and I called Jay but he didn't answer so now I am here laying on my floor wondering what was going on and putting off another conversation with my mom.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
No-Statistician-7604
So your sister thinks she is in a romantic relationship with her best friend. Her best friend does not have feelings for her and doesn’t even know he is in a relationship with your sister…Oh boy, you got yourself a delusional sister. Best of luck with that one…
The OP responded here:
iwantnone
This is pretty on brand for her so I’m used to it, he isn’t though.
CreativeMadness99
Wait a minute. Are your sister and Jay dating or are they strictly friends (with no benefits)? 30 missed calls and an unknown amount of texts over the course of a few hours is crazy.
To lie to your mom about something that never happened is delusional. Follow up with Jay to make sure he’s okay. Her behavior is quite disturbing and borderline obsessive.
The OP again responded here:
iwantnone
Yup yup strictly friends. Jay called me back, he’s fine but he’s not staying at his place tonight.
LalalaLastarrrrrr
Ummmm I think your sister loves Jay in a romantic way. Please update us once you speak with Jay.
Three days later, the OP returned with the requested update.
"Update: I spent the day with my sister's best friend and now she's telling my parents that I'm a homewrecker"
iwantnone
So I'm not religious or anything like that but Jesus Christ. Thank you everyone for your kind words and support, I don't know what to do with myself. Also, I meant to post an update yesterday but my friend asked me to go watch the Miguel O'Hara movie with her and then I just forgot, sorry about that.
I wanted to clear up some confusion before the update. On my original post, when my mom told me that Sarah and Jay shared an apartment, I said "I didn't even know they lived together."
Those were my verbatim words to her because last I knew, Sarah had a roommate and Jay lived alone. I was right, that's still the case. Sorry I wasn't clear about that, I'm bad at expressing myself sometimes.
Another thing was people were wondering how Jay found out about my date, or lack thereof, and according to him: he was hanging out with a few of his friends, including my sister, and she told him about it in a joking way.
Another thing it that some people are asking why I went out with Jay if I knew my sister liked him. I didn't know, just because I talk to my sister doesn't mean she talks to me the same way. If I had known I would have talked to her about it first because I know from past experience that my sister is a jealous person.
Anyway, last night was a doozy. Jay called me back, he said he was going to stay at a friend's because he would feel safer with company. I asked him if there had ever been anything romantic between him and my sister.
He said the only thing was that he kissed her at a new year's party at midnight because she was feeling left out. Obviously, I can't confirm if that really is the only thing. He also said that he had never even talked about moving in with Sarah, so he doesn't know why she would say they were living together.
After I spoke with Jay, I called my mom again. She still sounded angry, but this time I could hear my sister crying in the background and my dad yelling to get our a$$e$ over there.
Our being Jay and I presumably. Well as I told my mother earlier, I didn't have Jay's ass and I don't like to drive at night so I told them I would go the next morning. That also gave me time to gather any evidence I could to prove my innocence. Jay even sent me a copy of his lease to prove that he and Sarah do not live together.
I went to my parents' alone because Jay has a job. As soon as I arrived, my parents started yelling at me. Just the usual stuff, that I was disrespectful but they never expected this from me. How dare you do this to your own sister? You know she already has a hard time, why make her life harder? My dad even called me a deviant! That was fun.
I kind of just sat there and did the math on how much faster I would be able to finish my grad program and flee the country, or at least the state. I wasn't very tuned in until my mom told me that if Sarah lost her job because of me, that I would need to financially support her until she found another one.
That's when I snapped and told them that if they thought I was going to do that then they were as delusional as my sister. Missing one day of work because of a tantrum over something that didn't even happen was not going to get her fired.
My dad said that Sarah had been missing work to make sure that Jay wasn't leaving work early to go see me. I found out, my sister also told them that Jay was missing a lot of work so he wasn't taking enough home for their bills so they had been sending her rent money for months.
I told them it wasn't true and I showed them the lease Jay sent, where it clearly says the day the lease started and when it ends. It also had his address which is not the same as Sarah's.
My mom brought Sarah out of her room, where she had apparently been this entire time, and told her to explain herself. Sarah said that he probably got that other apartment so that he could be closer to me when he went on supposed business trips.
First of all, Jay is a software developer, I don't know what business trips he would go on. Second, nice way to find out that my sister doesn't even know where I live because Jay's apartment is almost an hour away from mine. I showed my parents that on google maps and they finally started to believe me.
Sarah started crying and calling me a liar. My dad told me that even if what I said was true, I shouldn't have been so hard on Sarah and that as her sister I should be helping her when she's having a rough time like this.
I told him I wasn't a therapist but if she ever decided to get help, I would pitch in. I left after that, there was nothing else I needed to say and there was no point in waiting on an apology. My dad looked uncomfortable and my mom was too busy consoling my sister to notice me leaving.
I haven't talked to them since that. Sorry if you were expecting a fun update where I somehow got revenge on my sister or something crazy and petty. If you have questions I'll probably answer. Thanks for caring though, and those of you that shared your own stories under my original post: damn, sorry you went through that.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:
wineandsmut
Has your dad seriously not apologised to you for calling you a deviant? I'm sorry for what you and Jay are dealing with just for hanging out. Your family seems to really suck. I do hope you told Jay that apparently she is following him though.
The OP responded here:
iwantnone
I told Jay everything after that whole thing. He said he was going to try to get a restraining order.
FitAlternative9458
Wow just wow. Your parents are as delusional as your sister. I saw your first post and thought she was nuts but by God. Poor Jay has gone to stay with friends because your sister is stalking him. Waiting for him outside work.
Your sister needs professional help. I would suggest you get Jay to reach out to your parents and just explain there hasn't been anything between him and your sister and he doesnt live with her. She needs professional help now or he will need to press charges soon.
smurfgrl417
Have you always known your sister was the Golden Child? Is that why you prepped your proof? You were so prepared to defend yourself it seems you've done it alot.
EDIT: Also, your parents are not concerned that bitch stalked and harassed a man OUT OF HIS HOME? Has your sister ever faced any consequences?
Puzzleheaded-Soft575
Wow! This is totally nuts and your Dad was completely out of line for what he said to you. I would honestly go no contact with all of them over this, it sounds like your life would be a lot more peaceful that way!
A year later, the OP returned with another update.
"Update 2: I spent the day with my sister's best friend and now she's telling my parents that I'm a homewrecker"
iwantnone
I don’t really know how to start this post but I felt obligated to write an update after everyone sent me so much love and support. There were a couple of questions I saw were pending when I logged back in so I’ll answer those first.
Jay got a permanent restraining order against my sister. It took some months and a lot more harassment but he does have that now. As for why my sister was lying to get money from our parents, I couldn’t tell you. I don’t know where all the money was going but I’m pretty sure that she lied because she didn’t want them to be disappointed in her.
A lot has happened but to sum up, my sister was arrested for violating the restraining order and breaking into my home. My parents were furious with me after I didn’t help bail her out.
They blame me for her getting arrested and getting fired from the three jobs she’s had since my last post. Since then, I have not had any contact with my mom or my sister. My dad called to wish me a happy new year but that’s about it.
Also, I finished my master’s and after countless job applications and rejections, I finally found a job in my field! It’s far away from where I currently live which is a major plus. I’m sad to be leaving my friends but I’m so excited to start this new chapter in my life.
I think overall, I am in a much better place mentally than I was when I first came on to write my post. I intended to use the internet as a tool for journaling but I think that didn’t really work for me, so I’ve found different methods to express and reflect on my feelings and situations. I think I’ll still use my account but probably just for trivial things that will hopefully not get very much attention.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Viciousbanana1974
Yikes. What a nightmare. Your sister needs in patient therapy. Good luck with the new job.
gruntbuggly
OP’s mom: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”
OP: “Sure. But, why today?”
chef’s kiss!
megamoze
Holy cow. There’s “golden child” and then there’s whatever the hell this is. I would’ve gone NC a long time ago with all of these jokers.
stacity
Parents failed their children. They punish the responsible one while coddling the pathological one. If OP reads this, run and don’t look back.
Suspended_Accountant
Mother's precious darling can not do any wrong. And since Father's balls are in Mother's purse, OP is an orphan. Hopefully Jay also moves further afield to get away from the crazy sister.
College_Prestige
If Jay leaves the city (which let's face it he might considering software dev is a very remote friendly role and he's constantly being harassed) there's a nonzero chance Sarah will try to track oop down to see if she's with Jay.