Girlfriend tells boyfriend to quit exotic dancing job, he says 'not until we have enough money.' AITA?
'Should i quit my weekend job for my gf?'
Girlfriend wants me to quit my weekend gig. I currently have two jobs.
Significant_Till_718
First, I have been working for a male exotic dancer company for 13 Years (I'm currently 37 yo). I started as a dancer, but now I am on a salary where I make about $1100 per week consistently just working Friday and Saturday nights as the manager and MC for this male exotic dancer show.
Second, I am a mechanical engineer, I just graduated in Dec of 2021, and am making about $72k before taxes at the job that hired me straight out of school. The weekend job is EASY, and after taxes, the two jobs pay just about the same, which means the weekend job DOUBLES MY INCOME.
I met my girlfriend at the weekend job where she asked me to come out with her after the show and I declined since I always go home after those shows. We met up later that week for a date. I say this because she knows I don't get into any nonsense trouble at the weekend job. Faithfulness is not the issue, it is time that is the issue.
We have weekday nights together and we have all day Sunday together. She even comes to some of the shows with me. It's fun. It's not 'gross' like some would assume an exotic dancer job is. Plus, I'm the manager, not one of the dancers anymore.
She wants me to give up that 2nd income so we can have more time together. I'd like to keep the job a few more years until my mechanical engineering career pays more. If I quit the weekend job, I can never get it back, and I know I will never find another gig that pays so much so consistently once I give it up.
Do I risk losing her to keep the income, or give up the income and then if things go south with the girlfriend, I'm now on my own with half the income I could be making?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Spiritual-March-7016
You have kinda hit the lottery with your weekend job and I am not trying to downplay the work you did in the past, just that job sounds amazing because you are making full time money on 2 days of work. I think I would try to explain how rare of an opportunity you currently have to your girlfriend.
I think if I were you I would definitely keep that job for a few more years and hope for a raise in the engineering job before you quit. If you think your gf is someone you want in your life forever then I think it is fair for her to want you to quit eventually but maybe just get her to understand not right now.
PinkFloydBoxSet
So wait.. You are making $4400 a month working two easy days a week, and you are asking if you should ditch it to keep a girlfriend? How long have you two been together. Thats not a question. The answer is not long enough to give up the $4400 a month.
humblekanyepie
I'm a female and would never expect my boyfriend to give up a job for me. Especially since it doesn't sound like she's been in the picture very long? Heck, I don't think I'd even make my HUSBAND give up a job for me, especially one so simple that provides more income! Carry on, dude. If she likes you enough, she'll figure her sh*t out and if not, wasn't meant to be!
carlitospig
It would be one thing if she just casually says ‘I wish we had more time together!’. It’s an entirely different red flag if she’s demanding your change your employment to meet her weekend plans. So, you know my vote.
morepostcards
If you’re serious then have a conversation about your shared financial plans and explain how your weekend job will be what makes buying a home together feasible in the current market.
Potential-Ad1139
Kind of a 'what are your priorities?' sort of question. If she's bringing home 200k or got a trust fund then the money isn't really a factor if y'all get married. But in pretty much every other scenario, I can't really imagine someone with long term aspirations with you asking you (and by proxy then) to give up that kind of money.
This is a question of how do you compare the value of time and money and if you as a couple aren't compatible or on the same page then it could spell trouble. I would ask my spouse to turn down a promotion if it meant that she would be traveling every week cause we have an infant child.
I am not on planning on being a single parent..however if that promotion was enough so that I didn't have to work? Then yeah...maybe I'd consider quitting my job and being a SAD.... probably still prefer to split work and childcare duties personally though, but I hope it illustrates my point.