Girl tells BF's dad he's been secretly street racing; his friends say dump her.
'AITA for filming my boyfriend street racing and sending it to his dad?'
My (21 F) boyfriend started street racing when we were teens. I think he started doing it to get his dad’s attention but he’d never admit it. In the past he’s gotten in trouble with the police but his dad would always get him out of it and the only consequences he really had was his dad cutting him off for a month one time
He eventually stopped himself after his dad started working on repairing their relationship.
I don’t know why after 3 years he decided to race again. He invited me but he told me we were going to a party because he knows I don’t like the races. I begged him not to race but his friends were encouraging him and everybody was acting like I was worrying over nothing and that I wasn’t a supportive girlfriend.
I even tried to use the fact that his dad would be disappointed in him if he raced but he didn’t care because he’s an adult and his dad wouldn’t find out.
I even warned him that I would tell his dad but it wasn’t enough to stop him and I don’t think he thought I actually would. I didn’t want this to become a regular thing and the only person who could actually influence my boyfriend enough to get him to stop is his dad so I filmed him and sent it to his dad.
My boyfriend hasn’t spoken to me much since but I know his dad is angry with him and they’re fighting. His cousin told me his dad has threatened to cut him off for good and that his friends are telling him to leave me over this.
I have spoken to his parents and they suggested I give my boyfriend time to calm down as they think he's more angry at himself than me right now but I don't know... AITA?
Here's what people had to say:
uniq_username writes:
ESH. But I'd rather be known as a street racer than a snitch. Your disloyal.
rory_sc65 OP responded:
I would rather be known as a snitch than him dying racing or accidentally hurting somebody else
yavanna12 writes:
ESH. You don’t like his hobbies. Part of being a partner is supporting them. If you can’t or won’t support them then don’t string along a doomed relationship Him because he is giving you a cold shoulder instead of talking to you. Also because he is participating in something dangerous and doesn’t care what you think
rory_sc65 OP responded:
I don't think being a partner means I have to blindly support him when I know he's doing something dangerous and I don't think that makes our relationship doomed.
Less_Flight_2043 writes:
Saw a wreck where they were racing and a driver t boned another car and killed a girl on the way to graduation. She barely survived and has TBI and is a paraplegic, smh. That s%*t is dangerous.
Corpsab writes:
To be fair, i was going for y ta because in my mind I was like, she should stay out of it. But I know fuck all about streetracing as it's not a thing I ever dealt with.
Reading the comment at the beginning on this string made me realise how serious it was, and that the OP is actually NTA. Perhaps a lot of people commenting in this thread are like me and don't realise it's a big deal.