Wife ghosts husband for going on luxurious vacay with family, not inviting her. AITA?
"AITA for ignoring my husband on his trip"
Busy-Struggle-5868
AITA for ignoring my husband while my husband is traveling?
Background: My husband is currently on an extremely luxurious trip with his family. They haven’t all been together in years. The reason behind this trip was that his mom is sick (nothing terminal) and they all thought they would meet up so that everyone can be around the mom.
I now see that he and the rest of his brothers are going out to the fanciest restaurants, renting boats, shopping at top designer stores, going on all kinds of adventures on this trip.
The trip was supposed to be about seeing his mom, and it’s turned into the trip of a lifetime. Since he landed, he has called me only 4 times (he’s been on this trip for the past 5 days).
I only answered once, and now truly don’t want to hear anything about him or his trip, so I haven’t called back. I can’t even send him good morning or goodnight texts. He’s stopped texting me a few days ago, and will maybe just send a video with no caption once every two days.
I just feel extremely abandoned and left out. I don’t feel like his priority at all, and that he is prioritizing his family over me. He knows very very well that I expected much more communication from him.
This is an ongoing issue when I travel to see my family (I’ve told him many times it hurts my feelings when he doesn’t reach out when I’m away, he totally doesn’t call or text if I’m seeing my family.)
Note: we’ve been married for only 6 months and this is the second trip he has taken without me (first was to go golf with friends). I just want to know if how I’m feeling is how others would feel. I honestly don’t want the viewpoint of men, just the women.
TBH I’m thinking of addressing it with him when he comes back, and telling him his behavior was incredibly disappointing, and I can’t trust a husband that doesn’t care for his wife wife while he’s away.
EDIT: no, I was not invited to this trip or asked to come. None of the sisters or brothers in law were invited either.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Sinusayan
YTA. Upset that he doesn't call more but won't answer when he does call.
Obviously this marriage isn't lasting.
Typical_Aardvark4897
Is this a teenage wedding? Because you sound like a child?
SnooRadishes8848
YTA, why can’t he enjoy family time doing fun things, I’d probably stop calling too since you’re not answering.
Jazzylizard19
YTA, it's very normal that when a partner is on a trip that they aren't going to call very often. Once a day is pretty standard. He went on a trip where the whole family hadn't been together in years. Of course they're going to make the most of it! You just sound very jealous.
Goalie_LAX_21093
Yeah. YTA. You sound immature. You are going to push him away if you keep acting like this. Be happy for him.
Shot_Assignment7253
YTA. You said he’s only called 4 times while on his trip. And you don’t want to talk to him at all. Then you say you get mad that he doesn’t reach out enough to you when YOU’RE visiting your family. So you expect him to be the only one to reach out no matter if he’s on a trip or if you are? You sounds like waaay too much work and you’re very one sided. YTA.
Wrong_Midnight_1618
YTA. Unless he has important prior commitments and reasoning, nothing wrong with him going to have some fun with his friends and spend time with his family. You also said he's called you 4 times on a 5 day trip, that's almost a phone call a day.
You said he's also been messaging sporadically and updating you with pictures, videos etc. where is your attempts of communication in all this? He calls you 3 times and you don't answer or call back, it all sounds very one sided.
If my partner took a trip for a family get together and she was having a good time and going to nice restaurants, i'd feel happy for her. Instead you come across as jealous because he's having fun without you.
That's your real issue here, please don't try and sugarcoat it as "lack of communication." For a healthy marriage you both also need time away from each other, it's okay to have different friend groups, family, different hobbies etc.
EDIT This is your 4th post on this sub, on the exact same topic in the last two days! You're a toxic bunny boiler and your husband needs to get rid. I mean all this silliness and drama because your husband is enjoying his trip away, you are truly pathetic, grow tf up.
Mariko978
For real! I know all relationships are different, but 4 calls in 5 days, plus messages, would be excessive for mine! I’d want my husband to be out enjoying time with his family not stuck on the phone with me. OP sounds jealous and a bit suffocating.