Man furious with sister. 'My WIFE isn't included in your WEDDING?' AITA?
When this man is upset with his sister's wedding plans, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for asking my family to include my wife in my sister’s wedding?'
My wife and I have been together for 15 years, have a 10 year old, and have been married for 6 years. My sister is getting married this October. I am a groomsman for her fiancé, and my daughter is the flower girl.
My mom is even the maid of honor. They didn’t ask my wife to do anything for the wedding except ask her to plan the wedding shower with my mom, which she did and did very well.
The lack of any inclusion did hurt my wife’s feelings, but she knew it wasn’t her wedding, and never said one word or made it a big deal. She did express to me she was concerned about the seating arrangements for the reception, as she isn’t a part of the wedding party, so she would be stuck sitting all by herself.
I mentioned this to my mom, and she basically told me that my wife would be fine, and that is just how it is. Today I got a message from my mom letting me know they are doing a bachelorette party on Saturday (that my wife and I didn’t know about,) but she now wants to merge it and make it a party for the whole wedding party.
We already have plans that day, we have a kayak trip. It was originally my wife’s kayak trip with a nature class she is in, but I was invited and decided to tag along. My mom suggested that I ditch the kayak trip to go to the party. No mention of my wife ditching or being invited.
Just “get the whole wedding party together.” I just asked my mom why my wife isn’t invited, and she isn’t responding anymore. Are we wrong to have our feelings be hurt here?
We haven’t said anything and don’t want to take anything away from my sisters day, but this feels like a purposeful exclusion that could somewhat easily be remedied. At the least let her sit with us at the reception. AITA? Also, any advice for what I should do here?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
specificsucatash writes:
NTA. While it’s fine that your wife isn’t in the wedding party, she should be seated with you. It’s insane that they think it’s fine to seat her separately. As for the kayak trip, you absolutely should stick with your wife.
You also need to confront your family about what the heck is going on, unless there’s something you haven’t shared regarding your wife’s relationship with your family up to now.
existingfox6317 writes:
Soft YTA for the wedding. It doesn't seem personal that your wife isn't in the bridal party and surely she will know someone else from your family if you guys have been together for 15 years. Once dinner is over, you guys are free to leave your tables and spend the rest of the night together.
NTA for wanting her invited to the party, though. Your mom expecting you to ditch her last minute to go to a party is absolutely hurtful. Unless your sister secretly doesn't like her, there's no reason she can't be invited to a joint bachelor/bachelorette party with you.
copamarigold writes:
YTA What exactly would she be? Junior bridesmaid?There aren’t enough roles in a wedding to give every family member a part. Maybe they thought that having you and your daughter was enough of a cost to you and didn’t want you to have to pay for anything else.
There could be a thousand reasons why your wife wasn’t given a prime role. I really thought by the title that she wasn’t even invited. This isn’t your wife’s special day, it’s your sister’s.
Your wife will survive one meal at a different table than you. Stop making it about your immediate family and don’t stress your sister out, she has more important things on her mind.