Man holds letter from deceased wife to her ex-boyfriend HOSTAGE. AITA?
When this husband doesn't want to share his late wife with her ex, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for not giving the last letter of my deceased wife to her ex boyfriend?'
My wife (F29) of 2 years and I (M28) met at our local pub 4 years ago. The first time I saw her, she was at the bar, having a hard time carrying a few pints.
I helped her carry some of the drinks back to her table and we started having small chitchats and exchanged numbers at the end of the night. After a couple of months, we started dating.
We took things slow, mainly because her past trauma. When in high school, she had a boyfriend (M29) and during their senior year, she was diagnosed with cancer. Apparently, the guy had cheated on her while she was receiving chemo. When she needed him most, she was left alone.
Not only did he cheat on her, but when he was confronted, he blamed my wife for being inattentive, always tired, and unattractive. My wife had blamed herself for her illness for months after that and finally broke things off with him after 2 years because she thought he deserved better.
After beating cancer, the guy had the audacity to get back together with her. They had an on and off relationship for 3-4 years. Naturally, my wife had developed some severe trust issues and insecurities that impacted our relationship initially.
After she began to trust me and love herself again, everything was going amazingly. Until her cancer had returned. I guess because of her ex, she started to become more anxious each day as if her physical state wasn’t enough to hurt her.
There was no way I would leave her. I wanted to be with her. Be by her side each step of the way to recover once again. And since I loved her and could see myself marrying her in the future, I proposed. I mean, why wait when I could at least assure her I would be there for her no matter what? So we married with a simple ceremony.
Unfortunately, her cancer was progressively getting worse. Her fatigue started to be more severe each day. Chemo was making her forgetful. I tried to fulfil her dreams and wishes until the day she passed away.
I was miserable. I couldn’t bare living somewhere that reminded me so much of her. After a while, I had the courage to go through her belongings to cherish and remember the moments we had.
Among her stuff, I found a letter addressed to her ex. It was written around the time she was diagnosed for the second time. I can’t get myself to read the letter nor to throw it away. I really don’t want to give it to him, who didn’t even show up to the funeral either.
I consulted some of our mutual friends and they told me if she had written it to him, she would have wanted him to have it and I should at least respect that. Honestly, I want to forget that I have ever found this letter yet alone give it to him. So, AITA for not giving the last letter of my deceased wife to her ex boyfriend?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
falconjaeger writes:
NTA. For one reason or another, she didn't send him the letter. Your mutual friends argument that she would have wanted him to have the letter is as easily turned around, she kept and wouldn't want him to have it now!
He doesn't know about the letter, you don't want to read it! The only way this can turn into a mess is if one of your FRIENDS thinks it would be a good idea to mess with y'alls feelings and go telling around about the letter.
internalhome943 writes:
NTA. People often write a “letter “ to someone as a therapeutic exercise to get something off their chest, with no intention or desire to ever give the letter to the “recipient “. I think this is that kind of letter. Your dear wife had time to give the ex the letter, she didn’t. Leave it at that. I’m so very happy for the time and love the 2 of you shared.
externalhamster writes:
NAH. You owe that person nothing. If you feel differently in a few years, address it then. But he is not a priority for you now, as you grieve the woman you loved, and he is not entitled to anything. I am so sorry for your loss and so glad that she found a good and loving man in you.