Man 'puts his foot down' and says no to his fiancés dream wedding idea. AITA?
When this groom to be is fighting his fiancé's dreams, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for not accommodating my fiancee's dream wedding idea?'
My fiancee Ella (31F) and I (32M) are thinking of getting married soon. I proposed 10 years ago once we both graduated after we met in our first year of university. We're only getting married now because I feel like we're in a good place financially.
We were making a guest list and it comes to about 50 people. We have large families so the majority of the guests are that, and the rest make our close friends. We're both on agreement with the type of venue, the idea of having a photographer and videographer so we have wedding photos and a short film, the type of menu and theme.
The issues I have is that Ella wants us to be married abroad and for the wedding to happen next year and to create a miniature holiday. She wants it to be a 5-day long event, going home on the Sunday. I put my foot down and told her that it would be hard for everyone to fly out for so long and it would be expensive for the guests who would have to book time off to attend. We can afford it but it would also be expensive for us.
My idea was to have a courthouse wedding before and we can shorten the wedding into a weekend trip and have the photographer and videographer film that. We could do an informal ceremony where we say I do, have a fancy dinner with the cake cutting and then celebrate for the rest of the time.
Ella doesn't think it's a proper wedding and she's waited for 10 years to marry me. That we spent all of that time saving up and delaying the wedding for other things in life and she's been dreaming of being able to do this.
She also said that her parents were more than willing to help pay for flights and the venue for everyone (they're incredibly well off as doctors) so we would just need to pay for the rest of the wedding and festivities. She thinks that if people cannot make it, it isn't the end of the world and we can celebrate with them after our 5-day event abroad.
Also that my idea is just essentially a holiday for everyone without the wedding part and she wants to be walked down the aisle and to have a classic ceremony.
I still don't agree and even if her parents want to front the flights and venue, it's embarrassing to use their money given we have been saving all this time. AITA?
Let's see what readers had to say.
jrm1102 writes:
YTA - “I put my foot down” I hate that phrase - youre getting married. Listen, communicate, compromise. You dont just get to shut down conversations.
dalecooperswife writes:
YTA. You made your gf wait ten years to be good 'financially' in order to get married, only to do a courthouse wedding? You could've done that years ago dude. Find a compromise that works. There are options that are in between an expensive destination multi-day extravaganza and a courthouse.