'AITA for refusing to cook for my wife anymore?'
"AITA for refusing to cook for my wife anymore?"
In my household my wife doesn't cook. She s^%$s at it and it's just easier on our taste buds if I cook for us.
Earlier this year we both decided that it was time for us to get back in shape, I decided to research some macro/calorie friendly cooking recipes and got big in to meal prepping. My wife stuck with it for a few weeks but ultimately decided to quit.
Luckily, this wasn't too much of an issue for me. She's a nurse and frequently works much later than I do as my typical work day is from 6am to 2pm.
So I would make my meal prepped meals for the week on on my off day and then I would make dinner like I did prior. When I meal prep, I make 6 days worth of 3 meals. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and just swap around lunch and dinner.
Last week Thursday morning for work and planned on coming back Friday morning and stopping through home, grabbing anything I needed then heading into the office.
This was known for weeks in advance, so I didn't spring this on my wife. I figured that she would be able to make sure, she and our kid got dinner that night and breakfast that next morning. The next morning, I'm running late and drive through home looking for my last breakfast and lunch for the week and they're gone.
I don't have time to ask my wife, nor do I wanna wake her up early before her shift so I just go. I end up skipping breakfast and lunch. I get off of work and I'm starving and decide I'm just gonna eat dinner early and when I look for my dinner for that night, it's not there.
This is what set me off, when my wife gets home I ask her what's up and and she admits to eating the meals. I tell her that I had portioned out food for an entire day and and she ate all of it in a single night.
She said it was my fault as I didn't make anything for her and our kid to eat and I just left the meal prepped things, so they had to eat those. We got into an argument and she told me I was being selfish.
So now I decided that if I'm selfish for expecting her to feed herself for one night, I would just not cook anymore as I'm doing a lot of work for a selfish person.
For the past week, I made my meal prep meals and store them at work and let her figure out what she wants do for dinner by herself. Of course I still cook for our kid, but only one portion small enough for him to eat by himself.
I told her I would keep this up and that she should learn to cook for herself if she's not happy about it. She told me that she's too tired when she comes home from work to cook and that I'm being incredibly petty. I think I'm justified and I'm pushing her to learn a life skill she should have by now. AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
okcontext writes:
NTA. You clearly meal-prepped for work. I'd be really upset if I thought I had food and my partner ate all of it. Then had the nerve to call me petty when I'm the one cooking all the meals. She only had to make something else for one night. Even if you aren't a great cook, you should be able to feed yourself something.
expertgossiper writes:
NTA I do feel like the whole thing could've been handled a bit better but I get it, emotions can run high sometimes especially if we're hungry.
The thing I'm a bit confused about is could she not simply order a takeaway or something for that odd day? Even if a takeout sounds too expensive you could always store some store bought pre cooked food for emergencies? Don't know why this can't easily be resolved.
pettycaterpillar writes:
NTA. She didn't starve before she met you, so she is obviously able to feed herself. She just got a little too comfortable to eat your cooking to a point she takes it for granted and crossed the line of feeling entitled to your portions if there is no food prepped for her.
Showing that what she think is granted in fact isn't will help her get her feet on the ground again and appreciating you doing all the cooking and should stop the entitlement.
A friend of my mom did this too. When she figured out her husband takes everything she did at home for granted, she booked herself a vaccation home and stayed there till he begged her to come home .
It took him 3 weeks though due to being very proud and stubborn, but he realized what she really did at home for him and the kids and apologised and never forgot from then on to show her his appreciation.
Both worked 100%, in her generation is was just more accepted the wife additionaly takes care of the household and kids, so this wasn't a 'she is the sahm, its her job situation', she just did way more at home than him.
Funny thing is, what really broke his spirit after 3 weeks is his mom calling him and berating him bc he forgot her bday (oc it was his wife who reminded him every year) - but i think his wife never knew that this was it that broke him and it didn't matter, it worked anyway.