'AITA for not putting my wife’s name on the house deed in case things don't work out?'
When this man is upset with his wife, he asks Reddit:
"AITA for not putting my wife’s name on the house deed?"
She’s my fiancée right now but the argument we’re having is that once we’re married, she wants her name on the house deed.
Years ago, I bought several acres as soon as I could afford it. Back then it was part of a ranch surrounded by other ranches. The owner needed money so he parceled out this section and sold it to me.
I built a small house on it and have lived in it ever since. Since it was originally part of a ranch, I did enough to legally keep it classified as a ranch so the property tax is extremely low.
Over the years, companies started to move to the neighboring big city and land prices started to go up. Almost all of the ranchers sold their lands to developers so now there are huge houses surrounding mine.
They start from $500,000 and go to several million. None of them sit on even an acre of land. My house is clearly the worst house around and I have no doubt it’s bringing the value of nearby houses down.
That’s all happened before I met and dated my fiancée. Now that we’re engaged, we’re talking seriously about our finances and the only sticking point is the house.
She wants her name on the deed once we’re married because we’ll be sharing our lives. Alternatively, she wants me to sell the house and we purchase a house together. I don’t find either options attractive.
In our state, whatever we bring to the marriage we take out. Since I will be bringing the house into the marriage, I can leave with it should things not work out. If I put her name on it, then she’ll get half. If I sell the house, there’s no way I’ll be able to afford anything that’s even close to what I have now.
Not to mention our property tax will be several times higher. Then there’s the drive time. My house is 30 minutes away from my work and 40 from hers. House prices has gone up so much that we’ll have to move at least an hour away from our jobs.
Like I said, we agreed with or compromised on everything else. This one issue is the only sticking point and it’s becoming a big one. So much so that she brought her family into it.
This weekend her father took me out to dinner to have a man to man talk. He told me that if we’re going to join our lives, we have to join everything. He expects me to do the right thing if I want to join their family.
So now it’s her entire family on one side and me by myself on the other. Am I wrong to want to keep the house I built by myself to myself? AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
loundent2 writes:
NTA - the biggest red flag is how she is dealing with this. Instead of working it out with you, she goes to her mommy and daddy and sends flying monkeys to deal with it.
This is how every issue is going to be dealt with. Every disagreement is going to be her whole family against you ever time. I don't think any of them have either your best interests or...
even your well-being at heart and I have no doubt that if the roles were reversed, you'd be having dinner with her father explaining how you need to do the right thing and not expect half.
Not saying break up with her, just pointing out serious red flags. The fact is, if she isn't planning on breaking up, she wouldn't need to demand half. She's planning for her future post-divorce life, you should do the same.
alarmingpress0 writes:
NAH. You’re both trying to protect your future as partners .... based on she wants her on name on the deed or you sell & both purchase. That’s very reasonable.
patientgas writes:
NTA, it's your property and you don't have to sell it for her or her family. Ask her why she chose to bring her family into something that doesn't concern them or her.
Your home and the land it was on were purchased before you started dating her, she doesn't get to tell you what you can do with it and the deal breaker for me is that she brought her family of flying monkeys into it.