Man threatens to issue cease and desist letter to deadbeat ex-boyfriend's widow. AITA?
When this man is concerned about his ex's widow, he asks Reddit:
"AITA for warning that a cease and desist will be sent out if my deadbeat ex's widow doesn't leave me alone?"
My deadbeat ex was out of my life by the time I (21M) was 1. My mom married my dad when I was 18 months old and he adopted me. Apparently my ex married a few years ago and adopted his wife's daughter and then he dropped dead earlier this year.
The widow was told about me and she decided I would become her daughter's big brother and basically act as though my deadbeat was my dad in any kind of way. She went through a whole ordeal to find me and she started reaching out to me on Facebook.
When I blocked her there she found another social media platform and blocked me there as well. Then she tried to get my mom to talk to me and then my younger siblings, and most of my siblings are minors.
One of my siblings has an art page where they post stuff and they had to close that because she was trying to access them there and yes, they are a minor.
I have zero interest or desire to meet this child or this woman. I'm sad for a kid who lost the only dad they knew and as someone who was chosen and adopted by my dad and would be inconsolable if I lost him, this child and I have no reason to have contact.
This woman will not stop saying I need to have a relationship with her child though. I ended up unblocking her and sent a message back that if she did not stop I would consult with an attorney and have a cease and desist sent to her and that I will escalate things more if she does not leave me alone.
She responded back that I should have some compassion for her daughter and threatening her with legal action is wrong given their recent loss. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
wanderingstorm writes:
NTA. You have no obligation to this woman or this child to whom you are not even biologically related. I'm of the opinion this woman has some sort of as yet unclear motive - who just decides their kid needs to have a relationship with some random person they've never met?
wonderfulnewt585 writes:
NTA - I went through similar cyber stalking a few years ago and thought the police would laugh and tell me there wasn't anything they could do but I wanted a report in case the person showed up at my home since they had access to work files where my address was listed...
they took it very seriously, I filed a report, they called the person and told them not to contact me in anyway or charges would be filed.
This is textbook harassment and it's illegal - make a report and have the police contact her to leave you alone. If it escalates after that, lawyer up and press charges.
mrcrvris writes:
NTA, at this point she is harassing you and your family. So you are well within your legal rights to send a C&D. She needs to understand that you had zero relationship with deadbeat outside of a biological one, and that one doesn’t really matter.
I feel bad for her bc grief sucks, but at the end of the day you already have a dad that cares about you and it wasn’t the deadbeat. Sooner she learns that the better.