'WIBTA If I tried to make my wife go back into nursing?'
"WIBTA If I tried to make my wife go back into nursing?"
I [24M] have been thinking for the better part of half a year to convince my wife [25F] into going back into a nursing job. My wife has been a nurse for 3 years. She was a floor nurse for 1 year, OR nurse for 1.5 years and a pediatric nurse for half a year.
She absolutely hated her time as a floor nurse and walked out cold turkey from that job. She then worked as an OR nurse and liked it but really hated her co-workers. She then decided to try pediatrics and also liked the job and co-workers most of the time.
She left that job to move with me to another state for a temporary military assignment I had.
After quitting her pediatrics job, she decided that nursing is no longer her thing and enrolled into an online university for accounting. She also has taken a job at a warehouse where her pay is half of what she is making as a nurse and complains that it gets boring easily.
Since then, she’s been complaining about everything: how little she is making now, how burnt out she is from being bored at work, how hard her online classes are, and how she doesn’t know what to do with her life.
I’ve mentioned a few times to her to maybe consider going back to nursing either full-time or part-time but she gets super defensive, closes herself off, and tells me how she will never go back to nursing and feel burnt out again.
I want what’s best for her and support her decision either way but I also want her to stop complaining about her future and make the most of what she already has now. I’m heavily considering talking to her parents behind her back and seeing if they agree with me or not.
Possibly making a plan for her parents and I to have a serious conversation about it with her.
Let's see what readers thought.
tothewestgo writes:
YTA, she's an adult and your wife, not your child. If you go to her parents expect your marriage to be over. This is not an issue to go to her parents about. Be an adult and talk to her about what she likes to do. What she is passionate about and help her figure what type of job/career she would be happy with.
remymagnificent writes:
NAH. Keep her parents out of the conversation. Doing that will not end well. Instead, talk to her about what she does and does not enjoy about the various jobs she's had. Help her find something that makes her feel valued, challenged, and that she enjoys.
phoenixrhys writes:
NTA. Don't involve the parents as that is not their business. You cant "make" her to anything. Dont try to fix this for her. If shes burned out at nursing theres nothing you can do for that. Perhaps set her up with some counseling so she can gain clarity and talk to a neutral third party.
I will say I understand your frustration. I had an ex that used to do that constantly. It's frustrating because you want to be supportive, but you also want to shake them and say WELL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT THEN AND QUIT COMPLAINING.
I suggested counseling and or career counseling so my ex could help himself but he refused and I just finally looked at him every time he complained and asked, "are you enjoying being miserable." He'd always say no and then I'd say "Well you must be enjoying it because you haven't made any strides towards changing it".
And I sent him SOOO many job application links lol. He finally did change careers and he never complained again but it was scary for him to make that leap. It probably made me an AH so don't do that but do talk to her about how the constant negativity and worry for her is affecting you too and that you want her to be happy.