'AITA for not marrying my pregnant ex girlfriend?' UPDATED
"AITAH for not marrying my pregnant ex girlfriend?"
Nicole (40, F) and I (M, 40) were together for less than 2 years. She broke up with me 2.5 weeks ago. At first, she said she hated me and didn’t want to hear from me ever. I respected that and did not contact her.
One night, she drunk-texted me about wasting her time and suggested getting back together. I ignored it since she was obviously drunk. Recently, she informed me that she is pregnant.
I asked if the baby is mine, which made her furious. She accused me of accusing her of cheating! Even though she hasn’t had a doctor's appointment yet, which I told her I wanted to attend with her. She has informed my entire family that I got her pregnant and abandoned her and the baby.
My Christian mom, siblings, friends and cousins are pressuring me to propose to her. Today, she called me three times at work, suggesting meeting over the weekend with my family for a small wedding.
I lost it! I don’t even know if the baby is mine, and I won’t marry someone just because of a baby. She called me an a**hole and hung up and called my family again, and my entire family is mad at me.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the initial post:
Xdnxmxb
NTA, did you see the positive pregnancy test? This is whole kinds of crazy and kinda seems like a trap with the pressure of marriage.
Throwaway_Ian_OP responded:
Nope I haven’t seen anything. That’s why I suggested to go to the doctor with her.
gamingthreadlurker
NTA!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE but do take a DNA test after the baby is born.
thesoundedmind
So this chick is crazy. Don't get married because of a baby. That's a trash reason. Commit your self to the baby (because if it's yours, she didn't make it herself), not her. There is a way to do that.
Throwaway_Ian_OP responded:
She screams she f*cking hates me ! But I should work on myself and marry her !! Wtf.
LuigiMPLS
NTA. Also, she's calling you drunk. Saying that she's pregnant. And she's getting drunk while pregnant. HOW IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS? My bets are she's not pregnant, just trying to get you to put a ring on that finger then was gonna fake a miscarriage or something.
5 days later, the OP returned with an update:
So, Nicole, my ex, ended up emailing Erin, my friend with benefit's boss. She found the company on her LinkedIn and then mass-emailed everyone. She wrote that we are engaged and have a baby on the way and told Erin's employee to tell Erin to leave our family alone!
Erin called me crying. Luckily, her company didn't fire her, but she was pretty embarrassed. She showed me the email. I decided to meet with Nicole in person and stay calm to see if I can go to the doctor with her.
When we met, I asked how far along she is. She said she doesn't know exactly. I suggested that we go to a doctor who can probably determine the pregnancy through ultrasound or some tests. She said the doctor won't see her until at least three months.
I asked how that's possible and she got mad, saying it doesn't make a difference. She accused me of being a selfish narcissist and said she hates all of us, mentioning Josh. I asked who Josh was, and she started crying, admitting that she has been having an affair with her coworker since Christmas, on and off.
She broke up with me hoping she could be with Josh, but he only wanted random hookups. That's why she made up the whole pregnancy story, saying, "I realized that I still love you! I want to be with you forever." I asked her to confirm that she's not pregnant, and she screamed, "NO, I’M NOT BUT DIDN'T YOU HEAR THAT I STILL LOVE YOU?" I left.
On the bright side Erin and I have been talking a lot and the more we talk I realize what a wonderful woman she is . I asked her if we can spend more time together and she said she'd like that.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's update:
ZeroZipZilchNadaNone
Dude, your ex is crazy bonkers. If DNA paternity tests can be done at 9 weeks, how the heck can she claim the dr won’t see her until 3 months? An OB will see a pregnant woman as soon as there is an available appointment. Don’t believe anything she tells you.
If she comes up with a sonogram pic, don’t believe it unless you see the baby on the screen with your own eyes. She wouldn’t be the first to find a sonogram pic online and photoshop her name and info on it.
Since she’s already proven how psycho she can be, watch your back. If you even think she might have access to your home or any financial or account passwords, change them. Consider getting some security cams. Best wishes! Please! Update! Me!
Majestic-Post-1684
Too bad you didn’t record your ex’s confession. I feel so bad for Erin. If I were you, I would help Erin hire a lawyer to sue your ex for defamation.
Throwaway_Ian_OP responded:
She has a case? I would even help her financially to do sue my ex.
tonidh69
Whew! Bullet dodged. What a psycho.
No-Baby4667
Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant!
Guy: But doctor that can't be right. We use condoms everytime we have sex.
Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. Maybe the condom broke?
Guy: No I'm sure it didn't.
Doctor: Alright then. Let me tell you a story. A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. The tiger looked really ferocious and the guy knew that he was doomed. Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts Bang at the tiger. The tiger died.
Guy: That can't be right. Someone else must have shot the tiger.
Doctor: Exactly.
JipC1963
Slander lawsuit and possible malicious mischief. Contact a lawyer for BOTH you and Erin! Sounds like your crazy-a** ex actually "forced" you and Erin to become even CLOSER! Bigtime backfire!!! LMAO