Mom to newborn wants to bail on SIL's wedding because of 'oppressive' dress code. AITA?
When this woman wants to bail on her SIL's wedding, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for not going to my sister in laws wedding due to her dress code?"
I 25f am having a conflict with my husbands sister 36f. She is getting married in 2 weeks and her dress code is incredibly complicated to adhere to for me. It is black tie, long sleeves and floor length gowns.
The conflict happened because I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and overheat very quickly, and the wedding is entirely outside, in the middle of the day, in the southern USA where it is incredibly hot, I cannot be in a long sleeve floor length gown in the heat for 8 hours.
I have sent her a few dresses to try to compromise which I will link in the comments for further information but she is completely adamant about exactly what she wants.
I told her yesterday that I cannot attend her wedding if she is not going to budge even slightly on the dress code. I told her she has the right to have her wedding exactly how she wants it, for it to be her perfect day but I have the right to look out for my own health.
She freaked out at me and told me I was being incredibly selfish and that “for once it isn’t about me and my baby” which she only said because she’s jealous I’m having the first grandchild and she felt like she should have had a baby before me and my husband.
Since then my husbands side of the family has told me I’m being selfish and to just compromise one day to keep the peace. I don’t think I should need to compromise my health for her wedding. Am I the asshole and being unreasonable? Here are a few examples of the dresses I offered to wear dress #1, dress #2, dress #3. AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
okprofession8 writes:
NTA. Also you should mention to her that a black tie wedding traditionally happens after 5:30 PM. She should adjust her attire to garden party, which would be entirely appropriate. Ok, don't tell her that (although it's true). Just don't go. And have your husband deal with his sister. It's HIS job to deal with his family and HIS job to look after his very pregnant wife.
mirrorinitial writes:
NTA. Bride gets to decide what her bridesmaids wear, not the guests. “Black tie” is a dress code. The rest is her not understanding how weddings work. You’ve gone above and beyond trying to accommodate her delusions.
You’ve stepped aside very politely since a compromise can’t be made. I can’t imagine anyone handling this with more class than you have. Enjoy not being on your feet for hours in 100+ degrees. Congratulations on your baby!
floridasunbum writes:
NTA. You politely told her you weren’t going after trying your best to compromise. You choosing to not go and telling her why / affirming it’s her wedding her choice was considerate. You handled it well.