'My boyfriend blocked me for renewing my lease. What can I do?' UPDATED 2X

"My 27F bf 24M blocked me for renewing my lease. What can I do to make things up to him?"

I am hurt and betrayed. My bf is a great person and we been together for 3 years. My bf is very frugal and I would too frugal. He graduated with a degree in computer science, and has been making decent money since he graduated. When he graduated he used the FHA loan for a humble but small townhome.

I’m someone who differs in that I like the luxury. Last year I got a nice high rise apartment in a major metropolitan area, and signed a 14 month lease. With that my rent was 4100 a month….Eventually with other bills I was not able to afford it. My bf’s mortgage is really cheap because his place is extremely cheap. Mind you his townhouse is only a 2-bedroom…..

My apartment is only a 1 bedroom but that’s what you expect. You’re paying for the view (it’s near the top) , the concierge, and the luxury experience.

My bf and I had a talk because I needed his help. He would cover half my rent and then I would either move in with him or get a cheaper apartment. I could even stay in the same apartment and switch to one of the cheaper ones. I would have tried to move in with him but not at his place. He agreed that he could move but we still couldn’t find a place that works for both of us because he’s so cheap.

Anyway I realized him and I will be getting married soon, so it’s better to renew my lease and enjoy the high rise nice luxury for one more year. I was dreading on telling him but last night I told him. He was pissed…he said “so you just expect me to pay half your rent again…” I told him well obviously.

He said “have you considered I like nice things too but it’s hard to do that when I’m sending you 2500 dollars a month…he said I would work with you if you were just bad at managing your personal finances and try to teach you..” he told me it’s worse than that and that “I’m just selfish and trying to take advantage of him”.

I was angry at him accusing me of just trying to take advantage of him, that’s not true at all. I love him and the fact that he said that hurt. He just hung up and blocked me everywhere. I’m going to head to his townhouse today so we can talk about this. Any suggestions?

This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

So, you aren't able to pay your rent by yourself, you asked your boyfriend to save your ass, he did with the condition that you find a cheaper place or move with him. You decided to renew the rent (that you can't afford) without telling him and you expect him to keep paying for half your rent? And he's the one at fault and you are the one mad about the situation? You are kidding, right? This can't be real

Helpful_Hour1984 said:

"I am hurt and betrayed." YOU are hurt and betrayed? You made a decision on your own, against his express wish, then expect him to pay for it? Are you really this dense, or are you trolling us?

On the off-chance that this is for real, what you can do to restore your bf's trust is pay your damn rent for the duration of the lease. And if he's still interested in being with you after you showed your ugly side, make the next decision TOGETHER.

Kishin21 said:

"I’m going to head to his townhouse today so we can talk about this." Should have talk this out before YOU signed yourself to a place you CAN'T afford on basis he was paying. You're making a lot of assumption and laying the expectations on him while trying to reap the benefits while he has to suck up the costs.

Why would he want to stay with you, let alone propose to you? You're just a leech with no idea how to manage any money or how to manage a relationship.

Moggy-Man said:

Yikes 😬 With all due respect OP... you come off as pretty entitled here. Shelling out $4100 for a one bedroom high rise apartment just for the luxury aspect of it is pretty telling. More telling is your bf paying for half of that, when you say yourself he is pretty frugal, and has a home.

And you saying "well obviously" when he asked if you expected him to pay half of your rent again, for an extra YEAR. Which comes to $30,000.

😬😬😬 Little wonder he blocked you quite frankly. And YOU have the audacity to feel hurt and betrayed. WOW.

Commenters unanimously agree that OP sounds delusional with her demands from her boyfriend, and most think her BF should break up with her.

OP then shared this update:

I was wrong and that’s why I take full accountability. Him blocking me doesn’t help us get to any real solutions. I’m going over his place today so we can have a real conversation . I was looking for advice on how to approach this conversation. I think I’ll address him blocking me at a later date and just focus on apologizing for renewing my lease without telling him.

In the comments, she added:

I’m going to break the lease before I go over there today. Despite what people claim. I love that man and I want him to know that.

A day later, she shared this second update on the relationship:

Thank you for the few encouraging comments. We are still together. We had a very long talk yesterday. He feels very betrayed and said this was a huge setback. He said one I’m financially irresponsible because I make too much money right now need to be financed . Two he thinks I been using him . That still hurts.

I told him I haven’t and I love him and I’ve had opportunities to date men that make more money than him but I want HIM. He laid out some conditions:

1.) Therapy? Which I thought was odd request but agreed to it. Both individual and together.

2.) I speak to a financial planner and follow their budget. He said they do that for free.

He said I need to show him I want him for more than his money because he’s seriously doubting that and that he’s not sponsoring me anymore