'AITA for calling off my wedding after my SIL tried to shave my beard in my sleep?' UPDATED 2X
"AITA for calling off my wedding after my SIL tried to shave my beard in my sleep?"
My (28m) fiancé (25f) who we'll call Lexi are a happy couple of 6 years and engaged for 1, or so I thought. For context my fiancé's sister (32f) we'll call her Sally, has always been hostile towards me and would rarely speak to me and when she did it would be because her parents were around.
Sally is Lexi's rock because she got her through a tough time during college and since then Lexi has told Sally everything about everything. We've had problems with this in the past due to her telling Sally personal things about my childhood I'd only told a few people.
This is partly what led to us not speaking for 3 months during COVID when she'd only leave our room for food and to go to the toilet, and recently we hadn't had an argument in a year or so, until 3 nights ago when she mentioned that she'd like me to shave my beard.
For context, I have a very thick beard that I've been growing for 8 years and I am very proud of it. So, of course, I told Lexi I wouldn't be shaving my beard, to which she stormed off to the kitchen and slammed her wine glass into the sink smashing it and a plate in the process.
I immediately stood up and asked wtf she was doing. She then spun around and screamed that I'm a selfish a-hole because I won't shave my beard and ran to our bedroom and slammed the door. I ended up sleeping on the couch and woke up at around 4am to Sally with a razor trying to shave my beard, so I pushed her off me.
Lexi then ran to check on Sally whilst I was looking at the big patch Sally had taken out of my beard. Then, I went upstairs and packed a bag whilst Lexi shouted at me for hurting sally. I told her to f-off and that the wedding was off and walked out the house and drove an hour to my parents' house where I've been staying since the incident.
Earlier today I got a text from Sally saying I was selfish for not shaving my beard. I haven't replied to her. My family thinks I should break off the relationship but her family said I should just shave it all and move on.
I've now gotten as many as 99+ texts/calls from Lexi saying things like "don't leave," "let's get together" and "I'm pregnant." She's trying to baby trap me I think. Lexi messaged me weird things like "miss me?" and "I'll take the baby, too." Sally then messaged me saying Lexi is in hospital. I don't believe it at all, I've blocked Sally's number now.
Here were the the top rated comments from readers:
BusinessBear53
Mate you need to reread what you wrote out. You're fiance is unhinged and her sister is a bad influence. Getting so angry about a beard that she smashed a plate and glass? Her and her sister deciding your boundaries are irrelevant. Even the fact that she can't keep anything you say to her to herself.
This is not someone you would want to spend your life with. Best thing you can do now is trim your beard to hopefully even it out then let it grow again. It can serve as a reminder of this incident.
Aessioml
It's worse than that the beard is older than the relationship. And it would also seem the relationship with the beard is the only sane one.
SerakTheRigellian
For real, if she has such an issue with beards why would she have gotten with him in the first place? And why wait six years to bring it up? It sounds like she was just looking for an excuse to exert control.
Over-Marionberry-686
Ok. So let me get this right. You were a%$^<ed and you’re wondering if your wrong to not want to get married?? No you’re not wrong.
Disastrous-Oven-4465
Your family is right. Sounds as if Lexi and Sally are a package deal. Lexi sounds very immature.
breetome
Young man as a much older lady I can tell you with complete certainty that both of these women are not right in the head. No one does something like that to another person period. You my dear have dodged one huge bullet!
That’s not normal behavior in any of those scenarios you described. Drama, and self deluded behavior by both just showed you what your future would be if you marry that girl and her scary sister. They’re obviously a package deal. Oh did I mention………RUN!!
Lexi's aunt who is the only person on her side that agrees with me, just called me to tell me Lexi has been checked into a psychiatric unit for 2 weeks. I'll keep y'all updated if anything happens, but I should be ok for now.
OP added these edits to the original post:
EDIT 1: Lexi messaged me wierd things "miss me" and "I'll take the baby to" Sally then messaged me saying Lexi is in hospital being treated after a su!cide attempt. I don't believe it at all, I've blocked Sally's number now.
EDIT 2: I called the police and showed evidence of her suicidal messages so she hopefully will be getting checked Into an institution
EDIT 3: Lexi's aunt who is the only person on her side that agrees with me, just called me to tell me Lexi has been checked into a psychiatric unit for 2 weeks. I'll keep ya'll updated if anything happens, but I should be ok for now
EDIT 4: I just want to say thank-you for the overwhelming amounts of support. I've filed a police report on sally for a%$^ult, and I'm in the process of cancelling the wedding venue.
EDIT 6: I'm back at the house I've had a locksmith change the locks just incase. The wedding venue can't be refunded but it was going to be paid by her parents anyways so I don't care. I've also contacted my lawyers.
Later OP came back with this update:
I just want to say thank-you for the overwhelming amounts of support. I've filed a police report on Sally, and I'm in the process of canceling the wedding venue. I'm back at the house I've had a locksmith change the locks just in case.
The wedding venue can't be refunded but it was going to be paid by her parents anyway so I don't care. I've also contacted my lawyers. Basically I'm asking, what should I do? Am I wrong?
And finally OP added this:
Hi just thought I'd pop in and give and update for you lot. I would like to give a short run-down of things since said event. • lexi and I separated. (Expectedly) • my beautiful & brilliant adoptive mother passed away in November.
• I moved to the UK, specifically Sheffield. • I bought my beautiful dog called Bailey. • I shaved my beard and grew the world's greatest movember moustache since its all for a great cause. Thank you all for the much needed abundance of support. :) love you all.