Teenage boy refuses to wear tuxedo to cousin's 'lavish' wedding. AITA? UPDATED.
When this teen boy is annoyed with the requirements at his cousin's wedding, he asks Reddit:
"AITA because i dont want to wear a tuxedo for a wedding?"
Hello, I(15m) have to go to a wedding tomorrow and I absolutely dont want to go there. My cousin is getting married and it's going to be a really big fancy wedding party where all the guys have to wear a tuxedo.
My parents know very well that I hate formal clothes and that I don't like shirts, ties and that kind of stuff and i hate even more to be seen in such clothes and I told them that I don't want to wear this stuff, but they threatened me that if I wouldn't wear one I'm not allowed to go to a metal festival in the summer i want to attend.
So last week they dragged me to a suit rental shop and got me a tuxedo...This thing is so F-ing uncomfortable, I had to wear it for half an hour to try it out and even though my mom says it fits, I F-ing hate it.
And the bigger problem is that I told my other cousins that I would never wear that sh&t and I dont want to be seen dressed like that, they will tease me as soon as they see me.
Today I asked my parents again to let me stay at home, but they got really mad. We were arguing and they say I have to come and I have to wear this tuxedo the whole wedding and I and the thought of it makes me mad.
I begged them but they just told me that they've had enough of my discussions and if I don't shut up and behave tomorrow, then I can forget my metalfestival. I thought I would think of some way out, but I have no idea how to get out of this and my parents are really pissed off now.
This is so unfair, I'm not a kid anymore and if I say I don't want to go there then they should accept that!! MY BODY MY CHOICE! AITA here or them?
Let's see what readers thought.
coatsalkid78 writes:
I'm erring on the side of YTA. I totally get being 15, wanting to wear what you want and not going to an event if you're not comfortable.
But, that being said, you're right, you're not a little kid and part of growing up is learning that not everything revolves around you. Sometimes we have to stretch our comfort for people we care about and that some social settings have dress codes that are outside of the norm.
Getting out of going to the wedding tomorrow will cost your parents money for the tux that they've rented and will cost your cousin and their spouse money because you no-showed. Your attendance has a cost and if you weren't going to go, the time for RSVPing no would have been months ago.
roadgoddess writes:
YTA- you’re about to learn a great lesson about growing up. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t like. It’s the way it goes in the world. You’re now learning that as you get towards being a young adult that sometimes you do things like this for the people that you love and care about.
The reality is it’ll be five hours of your life and it will be over before you even know it. And in the grand scheme of your entire life, it will be a tiny little blip on the dot that you won’t remember in 20 years.
fizzbangwhiz writes:
Sorry, but YTA. Part of being a grownup is learning that you can’t just do whatever you feel like all the time. If you aren’t a kid anymore then you’re becoming a grownup and you need to grow up.
If adults only ever did what they wanted to do, do you think anyone would show up to your recitals and birthday parties? No adult is jazzed about attending a kid’s party but they do it anyway because they care about you and they want to show up for you.
You’ll be graduating high school in a couple of years—were you expecting any of the members of family to attend the ceremony or send you a gift?
Did you think they were going to love watching a couple hundred kids they don’t know walk across a stage or are they going to go because you’re a part of the family and supporting the important milestones of family members is what adults are expected to do?
If you want to be treated like an adult then you need to embrace the responsibilities of an adult. Those responsibilities include occasionally wearing an uncomfortable outfit (that was very expensive, by the way) to show up for your family. Suck it up and deal with a few hours of discomfort and go to your concert.
albanybarbiedoll writes:
Well if you aren't a kid anymore stop acting like one! Here's a clue for you: MOST grown men do not like fancy dress-up clothes like suits, ties, tuxes. But they suck it up for a few hours and do it when asked. That's what you should do.
Obviously you care a great deal about the festival. This is basically the price of admission. Stop worrying about getting teased by cousins who are going to be similarly dressed. If they say anything at all to you, look them up and down and simply say, "Jealous?" and then walk away.
To be ashamed to be well-dressed at a formal event is ... a little bizarre.
YTA both for WAY overreacting and also not doing the easiest possible thing to make your own future life better. Keep the prize (metal festival) top of mind and do what it takes. Nothing is more metal than beating the system!
Then, OP offers this interesting update.
UPDATE: You can all calm down now. Yeah I'm going to that wedding. No i won't act rude or stupid towards my cousin or her husband, i know its not their fault. No i cant take my bow tie off because my parents now force me to wear it for the whole day because i pissed them off.
No i dont have sensory issues. No, i dont want to wear a dress. No, i dont think i'm going to apologize because i thought i have a free will. Thx for the actual nice replies, this blew up way more than i thought and that would be too much to answer everyone.
And thx for the "Haha,have fun in your tuxedo!" DMs, fu! Tomorrow is going to suck but as some of the nice ppl here said "Eyes on the prize!"