Woman begs for dress code exception at SIL's bachelorette party. AITA?
When this woman gets into an argument with her SIL over the dress code at her wedding, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for asking for a dress code exception and ruining my relationship with my SIL?"
I (F28) am a Muslim woman. I was not raised Muslim, but I converted during a difficult time in my life and I honestly believe it saved me. My husband (M30) was there for me during this time, and has always understood my reasons and is very supportive despite being an atheist himself.
My husband's sister (F24) is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid, which I am thrilled to do. We have chosen a modest dress which I can wear with a hijab, and there are no qualms on that front.
The issue comes with her bachelorette party. She wants a Vegas themed party and all the girls must wear bikinis in coordinating colours. Now, I wouldn't mind this if I was just in the company of women, but I cannot show my body off in front of men, and two of the bridesmaids are my SIL's gay best friends (M24 and M25).
These two guys are lovely and I have absolutely no issue with them, but I cannot wear a bikini in front of them. I tried to compromise with my SIL and wear something modest but still in the colour scheme, but she says I am being homophobic and ruining the vibe of the party.
She said if I can't wear a bikini, then I shouldn't bother being a bridesmaid at all. My husband said I need to do whatever makes me feel comfortable, but my MIL (F62) is saying that I am driving a wedge in the family over nothing, and it isn't like I have never worn a bikini before and I can set aside my "ideas" for one night.
She said that they don't count as men under the Muslim definition because they are gay and won't look at me "like that", and I am purposefully being difficult.
My SIL has followed through with uninviting me over this, and said she'll never be able to see me the same way again because of my selfish behaviour. So, I come to the internet to ask if I am being an AH?
Let's see what readers thought.
justmeloncholia writes:
NTA. If they were fine with you wearing a modest dress for the wedding ceremony what’s the difference for the bachelorette party? One day they’re respectful of your religion and your choices and the next one they’re not?
To me they seem that they’re just entitled and it feels like it’s just an excuse for them to bring this “issue” up, was maybe just a matter of time, cause the behavior really doesn’t make sense.
Do what feels right for you but don’t feel forced to do anything just to please them. You’ve been respectful and they need to do the same and don’t act like hypocrites.
equivalenttocal0 writes:
NTA. "I will not show my body off." is not a selfish behavior. Choosing not to wear a bikini around anyone is not homophobic. Quite frankly, your SIL had the opportunity to have you in a coordinating outfit and choosing to include you. Her gay BFFs are not going to be in bikinis.
Making you wear a bikini when you very clearly do not want to, will not even if you wanted to, are perfectly fine lines to draw. Your MIL can go kick rocks.
If you had done this, you probably would have not felt great about it, and in future if you ever said, "I cannot do X because of my religion," they would all bring this up as a reason to set aside your religious convictions.
winkywoo0 writes:
NTA regardless of religion not all woman are comfortable to wear a bikini , your S.I,L is completely disrespecting you .What is it with weddings bringing out the worst in people ?