Woman secretly burns all memories of fiancé's dead wife; his kids find out. CONCLUDED
This story has been edited slightly as English appears to be the OP's second language. Some odd phrasing has been left so as not to alter the core intent of her writing.
"I destroyed my fiancé’s dead ex wife photos and her antique horse collection and my fiancé doesn’t know..."
So I have been keeping this for a couple of months. I (26F) have been with my fiancé Ale (27M) for 2 year but I’ve known him when I was a freshmen in high school and he was sophomore.
He was with his deceased ex wife Lorraine when they were in middle school. I always kinda had feelings for Ale, even when I was in relationship with my ex boyfriend from high school, we broke up of course. But Ale has two kids Basil (8M) and Birdie (3F).
I love those kids as my own and see them as my own. He was married to his deceased ex wife Lorraine when she was 18 and he was 19. Had their son after they got married. Sadly Lorraine passed away giving birth to their daughter Birdie. I comfort him when he was grieving.
A year after her passing we got into a relationship. He’s the best partner I could ever ask for and we are getting married in the summer of July. Birdie sees me as her mother and Basil sees me more as an aunt than a mom.
I was always auntie Coco but my name is Celia. Basil does have a picture of Ale and him and Lorraine when she was 5 months pregnant with Birdie. He does not have a picture of us together as a family. He still misses his mom.
I was kinda a little jealous of Lorraine. Especially during high school. Sometimes I wish I was the birth mother of Basil and Birdie. I wished I had his kids first and Ale doesn’t want anymore kids biologically. Because he told me he only wanted Lorraine to have his kids. He had a vasectomy.
He told me he would rather just adopt, or have me use a sperm donor which makes me upset. I felt so insecure, about all of it. Thinking Lorraine is in the way.
All of Ale’s friends knew Lorraine in and out. Since they all knew each other in middle school and had the same old friend group growing up all together. Especially Ale’s best friend Jordan. He adored Lorraine.
So did Jordan's wife, Ruth, who was Lorraine’s best friend. I know them but I am not close to them. They all talk about Lorraine from time to time. About the things they used to do. They are the godparents of Basil and Birdie.
So they’re around a lot. I however didn’t know Lorraine that much, but she was nice to me. It felt fake tho. So I wasn’t really a big fan of her. But respected her enough.
I felt kinda like I was intruding in Ale’s beautiful family. I remember going through the attic and finding some of Lorraine’s and Ale’s belongings. With photos from middle school to before her passing.
I found Ale’s old gifts that Lorraine had given him and Lorraine’s gifts from Ale. A lot of horses as Lorraine grew up on a horse ranch and loved horses. Ale was keeping this for his kids to give to when they were older. To treasure their mothers stuff.
I also found another box filled with Lorraine’s collection of old vintage and antique stuff of horses and gifts from her friends, Ale’s friends, and family, and Ale’s family.
I got jealous as Ale was planning on giving this stuff of Lorraine’s horse collection as gifts to Birdie. Ale has already given Birdie Lorraine’s old stuffed zebra when she was a young child and given Basil an old knife that belonged to Lorraine’s grandfather.
All I know is, I wanted everything gone. When Ale took Basil and Birdie to Lorraine’s parents' house for a few days, I stayed back because of work. I knew this was an opportunity to get rid of Lorraine’s stuff and photos.
So I took the knife and the stuffed zebra, all the photos of Lorraine in it and her antique horse collection. Burned all the photos threw her antique collection away and destroyed some. Cut open all the stuffed toys of Lorraine’s and all the letters she wrote. I destroyed every single thing of her's.
I felt satisfied knowing she won’t be a bother and there would be nothing to be jealous of anymore. I felt happy and not remorseful. When Ale and the kids came back, I pretended as though nothing had happened and all was just normal.
It only took a few days until they noticed. Especially Basil. He couldn’t find his photo of him and his mother or the knife. He raised awareness of the disappearance of the stuff, which got Ale searching for the zebra. But, obviously, it couldn’t be found. We did move to a new house few months after.
Ale searched through the attic to pack stuff and noticed that only Lorraine’s stuff was gone. Her collection, childhood stuff, their pictures together, letters, gifts. Just everything. He searched frantically for it.
He did question me as he knew about my insecurities and jealousy of Lorraine. But I told him that I would never do anything like that. He believed me. So, he believed that he must have left her stuff back at the old house. Even to this day he still doesn’t know. Basil is however heart broken which got me feeling a bit sad.
Lorraine’s parents and friends are very sad about it. As Ale did tell his friends and everyone. His family is sad about it. Because they loved Lorraine like a daughter. I wish they loved me like one. But I know I can’t ever compare to her. Ale’s friends are also so sad about what happened. Everyone is sad. But they don’t know a thing.
Even Birdie is sad about the zebra. But that thing was old and gross. So I got her a new one. She doesn’t love it like her old one but she sleeps with it once and a while. I don’t think I can ever tell Ale or anyone this. But it feels good to take it off my chest.
The only person I really told were my two best friends Mandy and Hollie. Mandy knows Ale but in high school they really weren’t that close. But they did still hang out. Hollie didn’t really like Ale that much she only knows him because she dated his friend Maxwell in high school and college, on and off. Until Maxwell got married with a kid on the way.
However Mandy and Hollie have told me that what I did wasn’t right. But I know they won’t tell anyone. So I feel safe knowing they won’t tell Ale or anyone of his friends and family.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after this initial post:
This is gross. She is dead. You are trying to compete with a dead woman. There was nothing to be jealous of. She. Is. Dead. She can't impact your life. She cannot make him leave you. Anything you thought was in the way was your own insecurities. You got rid of important items because you were too insecure to realize that there was no way for this DEAD woman to come back and ruin your marriage.
I suspect that if the kids end up not loving her the way she expects, she'll also find a way to punish them! In fact, I'm scared for the kids, because she seems unhinged, if calm! As if it's all a matter of fact and there's little remorse for what she's done.
This is quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever read on here. Get help & come clean.
The OP responded here:
My best friend Mandy says I should tell him. She had a step mother who hated her, she doesn’t want me to go down that road. But I’m too nervous. :/
Check out her update! She got her karma.
And check it out, we shall. Here is the update from the OP, a little over three months after her initial post:
Well to update you people calling me names and how my fiancé does deserve better. You guys are right, the guilt hit me so hard. Seeing my kids.. All sad and devastated.
Basil was so distraught about his grandfather's knife and his picture with his mom. He sometimes will break down crying because he always tells his dad and I “My mom is the prettiest lady.” Or “Mom was the kindest lady.”
Birdie was still sad because she thought she lost or misplaced “Zipper” her mother’s childhood stuff zebra. She sometimes couldn’t sleep without Zipper. She would still come to sleep on me. As she sees me as her mom.
Ale was upset thinking he left all of his memories of him and Lorraine behind and could never get them back. He’s sad Birdie would never know much about her mother Lorraine and would never even have any pictures of her. Or be given her collection of antique horses.
Neither of them will ever know the letters she wrote for Birdie and Basil. And for Basil to never receive any of his mothers old gifts. Basil really loved his mom and he did resent me sometimes.. Saying I’m not his mother or I will never replace her.
He does say he loves me of course. Just not as a mom. I tried to be a mom for him but that made him really resent me. I just feel really awful now. But I still didn’t tell them for a while. However my best friend Mandy was the one that wanted me to tell Ale for the sake of him and the kids.
She grew up with a stepmother who was resentful of her. She didn’t want me to go down that path. She said that it should be up to Ale on what he wants to do with our relationship and that I really messed up, and that I'm digging myself a really dark deep hole.
She says if I love Ale and the kids as I say I do. then I need to tell him or she would. I never told him, I was too scared. So, after weeks of not telling, Mandy came over one day when I was visiting my parents and little sister. She told Ale the whole thing, what I did and everything I destroyed. How I talked so badly about Lorraine.
When I came home, Mandy was there and I looked over to Ale who was fuming with so much anger... I have never seen him like that before.
We have never had an argument before over the course of our relationship and friendship. This was the first.. He screamed, yelled at me “How dare you do that to the love of my life and the mother of my children.” I knew he wasn’t over her and thought he loved me.
I asked him if he ever did love me. He said “ I did and I wanted to marry you. Until you ruined mine and my kids life forever, I don’t anymore. We will never get those stuff back.” I started crying so hard and asked Mandy why over and over.
She didn’t say anything. Ale was going off on me and broke up with me and told me to never get near him or his kids ever again. I told him “What about Birdie? She calls me mama.” And he said “You were never her mother, just a sick person who wanted to seem like Lorraine never existed.” And told me to get the hell out of his and his kids' life.
After that I left and went to stay at my best friend Hollie's place. Then, a few days later, I learn Ale told everyone; his friends, his family, his best friend Jordan, Lorraine’s family and friends and her best friend Ruth.
I was getting messages left and right from all of them. Telling me awful things. Calling me names. Ruth texted me calling me a soulless crone who took her best friend's memories and life from her kids.
That one real stung and got me to broke down. Mandy even told me she will never look at me the same and questions our friendship and hasn’t contacted me since. A lot of our other friends dropped me... but a few are still with me.
So now here I am, at my best friend's place until I get back on my feet. With an ex fiancé who wants to put a restraining order on me. I am “harassing his family.” And “Already caused enough life damaging pain for his kids.”
His son Basil hates me.. Because Ale told him.. Birdie is now wondering where I am, probably. I don’t know, his family hates me. I got along with his two older brothers and his parents. All his friends hate me and most of my friends do too.. I lost my fiancé and my kids. Over my stupid jealousy.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after what seems to be the final update:
Wow. This woman really doesn’t understand the magnitude of what she did. She actually destroyed letters written from the mother to her children? There’s something dead inside her.
And she didn’t even seem like she was all that sorry about it. She talked about being satisfied after it was all gone. How in the world do you not immediately know you royally screwed up?
ok of all the nutbars we see here I think this is the biggest monster of them all. How can you claim to love these children and then do that to them, it's utterly horrific and soulless behaviour. This makes all the tater tots look like amateurs in comparison.
I would have immediately dumped this person as a friend too. How vile.
Good on her friend for standing up to do what's right even if it was hard. To know that someone you thought you loved was willing to not only destroy all of the things you shared with your deceased wife, but to deprive her children of them as well, must be absolutely gut wrenching.
She deserves all she got and worse. Honestly kind of reminds me of that one post about how the woman essentially schemed her way into being with her husband by becoming his brother's friend and didn't tell him that she had known him for two years prior to them 'meeting'. Just a totally self-absorbed person willing to do anything to get what they want.