Woman gets extremely offended at BF's family NYE gathering; bails completely. AITA?
When this woman bails on her BF's family's NYE gathering after an offensive convo starts, she asks Reddit:
"AITAH for leaving my boyfriends NYE family gathering after what I was hearing them say?"
A little background info, my boyfriend is 25 and I'm 24. We have only been together for 5 months, and I have not met his family yet (besides his mom) until yesterday.
Around 6 yesterday I drove over to my boyfriends aunts house, she was hosting a family gathering for NYE. I met up with my boyfriend who was chatting with his cousins. I met them and my boyfriend took me around to meet everyone.
I didn't drink because I drove myself, but everyone else was drinking including my boyfriend. Everything was going fine until his grandpa sparked up a political discussion.
I'm not politcal so I really wasn't interested, but the conversation went towards a more racist tone. I am 1/4th black. I don't really look black, but I obviously don't look fully white. My boyfriend is aware of this.
His family begin talking about black people in general in a bad way, and his grandpa started specifically started talking about people who have died to police.
I fully checked out and left whenever I heard the n word drop. I didn't let my boyfriend know I was leaving, and most were too drunk to even see me leave.
I got home and slept, woke up this morning to a message from my boyfriend asking me why I left. I told him his family were being racist.
And he said "they weren't being racist to you, that's what they just like talking about" he was telling me I shouldn't have left without letting him know and that I'm just looking too deep into it. I don't know where to go from here. I haven't messaged him back and I'm not sure if I'm going to. AITAH?
Let's see what readers thought.
celebrationone7 writes:
You need to leave him. This family is racist. He is, to some degree, comfortable with this fact. You shouldn't be expected to just accept racism just because it isn't being aimed at you. If you stay, do so knowing that they will be racist towards you and any children you bring forth.
waiitng6 writes:
NTA. Simple. You’ve found out your bf is from a family of racist rednecks…and worse, that he doesn’t mind! Be grateful you’re so young, and you’ve only wasted five months with this clown. Dump the trash and move on. There are better men out there. With much better families. Bullet dodged!
aladdin6 writes:
Time to leave this relationship. There's no future here for you within this family. The fact that your boyfriend isn't repelled by, and doesn't condemn, this talk is a red flag.
In my teens I planned a New Year's Eve party with my friends, in Brooklyn. The transit union was planning to strike at one minute past midnight if their contract demands weren't met.
Most of my friends had transportation to get home but one friend, a black gal, would need to take public transit. Anticipating that the strike might prevent this, I spoke to my Mom about my friend sleeping over in our spare bedroom. My mother said no. I was stunned...I'd never heard a racist word spoken in my household but the reason was evident.
I spoke in confidence to my other friends and we determined to keep the party going with all in attendance until the strike was settled or alternate transportation could be arranged. I'm 81 years old now.
I never forgot this incident and never saw my mother in the same light from that day forward. Trust me...racism cannot be overlooked, ignored, erased or unseen once you know it exists.