Woman 'humiliates' husband over bedwetting; says, 'solve this issue.' AITA?
"AITA for yelling at my husband at night?"
Finding myself (36F) in an awkward situation in my marriage. I have been married to my husband (38M) for 5 years and we have 3 kids. We are happily married. He is very loving and caring to me and the kids, no doubts there, he is a great dad and husband.
Problem is now and then he wets the bed at night. When it first happened, I didn’t even know how to react, I felt embarrassed to talk about it with him. The next morning he took out the sheets and cleaned everything up. Then it continued to happen; sometimes once a week sometimes every other week.
And I have been understanding and empathetic for the most part hoping this phase of his would come to pass. Background: He lost his full time job 18 months ago and has been between jobs since then. so he does Uber now and then while learning to become a realtor.
Well for almost two years now I have been the main bread winner and we live in a high cost county.
I have been very supportive and compassionate for over a year! It’s been happening more often now especially when he drinks before bed or days that he is very tired. He does nothing about it though even though we talked about it several times like adults.
Not sure if this is the reason for the blow-out bed wetting but recently he wet the bed again and I blew out on him that night, screaming at the top of my voice and told him he should never sleep on this bed again with me unless he solves his issue. Maybe I was wrong to snap but man waking up suddenly at night by a wetness had the wrong effect on me. I just feel like this is taking over our life.
Next day he was back to himself again. Very kind and caring and since then he sleeps in the guest room. I am so confused! AITA? Has anyone been in a similar situation? What should I do? I love my husband so dearly and would die for him. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
betweenweboundtak writes:
YTA. Your husband is obviously going through something, whether emotional or medical, and rather than offer support, you went after him. I get it: pee isn't pleasant. But neither is a spouse who makes you feel even worse when you're at a low point. You say you'd die for him. Why not trying to help him first?
shownpopea writes:
NTA. It sounds like even after months of compassion and empathy, he’s not done a single thing to actually solve the problem. He’s not even acknowledging that it is in fact a problem.
And I’m sorry but if I was routinely waking up in the night covered in piss because my husband couldn’t even take the slightest amount of initiative to make a doctor’s appointment, I wouldn’t be feeling very nice. OP has been a hell of a lot more patient than I would be.
Husband needs to understand how his actions are affecting other people. Maybe OP’s delivery method wasn’t ideal, but at least now husband can’t ignore the impact that this is having on her.
curiousresident writes:
YTA. He could be depressed, he could be scared, he could be ashamed, he could have been brought up in a family where men are expected to 'tough it out'. If all people were capable of dealing with their issues in a rational and constructive way we would live in a very different world.
But in reality people often fail to do what's good for them and that's the point where if you love them you support them. That's the part when 'in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer', which most people promised each other when they got married, comes in.