Woman who makes $90K refuses to split check with friend who makes $100K. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to split half of the check for dinner with my best friend like we usually do?"
My best friend, Vanessa 24f and I 25f have been friends since the 2nd grade. We've been supportive of each other's successes and accomplishments, and we're always there when one of us needed the other.
We've also ALWAYS split the check when we go out for dinner or brunch or anything like that. We've agreed to do that for a long time, plus it saves time and doesn't complicate things for us and the servers and it didn't matter how much one of us ordered. She was the one who suggested it and I was like 'Okay, sure'.
I'm not really a big eater so whenever we would go out, I would only order about 15-35% of the entire price for both. Vanessa, on the other hand, always has a huge appetite and would order 65-85%.
The percentages depend on the occasion, appetites, and the price of the food. Recently, Vanessa got a huge promotion at her job for which she has been working her ass off and she wanted to celebrate, so she suggested that we go out to this fine dining restaurant nearby and I agreed because she deserved it.
But before I continue, I should add that a few weeks prior, my older sister Bianca told me how ridiculous it was that i was splitting the check by paying half of it when I would only order food that amounted to only a quarter of the check.
So before Vanessa and I ordered our food, I told her that I want to only pay for the food that I will order. She said 'Okay'. When she saw that I was actually paying for my own food, she was like 'Wait, you were being serious before?'. Um... Yes, I was being serious, and she said 'Oh, I wouldn't have ordered so much if I knew you were being serious'.
The total bill was around $560 and I only ordered around $145 worth of food). I asked her why wouldn't she think I was being serious and she said that it's because we've been splitting the check in half for so long that she literally thought that I was joking.
I told her that I'm just sick and tired of paying half when I only order a small percentage. Like, I'm paying at least $50-$100 more than I should every time. So she became a bit mad and said 'And you just decided to be a b&%ch and pull this stunt on the day when I got promoted??
Fine then, I will pay for my food' and she did and just exited right after without even waiting for me, which was not cool because she had picked me up at my place and drove us here so I had to call an Uber and pay $36 for the ride home.
This morning, my phone is full of messages from my other friends saying that I was an AH for demanding this on the day of her big promotion and for being a cheapskate.
I earn about 90k/year, minus or plus because I have several jobs, which includes dog training for which I charge $80-$100/hour. Vanessa earned a little bit more with one stable job and since her promotion she now earns 6 figures.
I just don't want to overpay so much. It's fine if it's $10-$20 more than what I ordered, but over $50?? That amount can go towards necessities and bills. So...... AITA?
Let's see what readers had to say.
roadgoddess writes:
NTA- I had a friend that would regularly do this. We would go out to eat, and she would order multiple bottles of wine and multiple courses when I would be getting a salad. I finally had to put my foot down and start asking for separate checks.
She was definitely upset the first time I did this as well, but paying for all of her food and drink is not my responsibility. She was 100% taking advantage of you, and then acted like an absolute baby, when you chose to not be walked all over anymore.
The way she responded with I wouldn’t of ordered so much. If I no one says everything you need to know about her. She was consciously making the decision to have you pay for her food all these years.
emuonacid writes:
A promotion usually comes with a raise. She wanted to celebrate and chose the restaurant. She was prewarned that she would pay for her own food yet ordered because she wouldn't pay her fair share (originally her idea, because she knew she would never have to pay her fair share).
If anything the timing was right. If you invite someone out to celebrate, you either foot the bill, or pay for your own damn self! OP didn't bring up her reasoning until the friend completely disregarded what she herself okayed preordering. NTAAlso stranding OP and 'tattleing' on her causing harassment....that is not a friend!
sensitiveexit8 writes:
NTA. If you still have any doubts, go back and read this line, where she said: 'Oh, I wouldn't have ordered so much if I knew you were being serious'. Your food was 26% of the bill.
Her food was 74% of the bill – yet she still expected to pay 50/50. AND SHE ORDERED TONS OF EXPENSIVE FOOD BASED ON THE ASSUMPTION YOU WOULD PAY. This has nothing to do with her promotion. I would seriously reconsider my 'friendship' with this person.