'AITA for putting vegetables in my food so my roommate's kid won't eat it?'
"I put vegetables in all my food to stop my roommate's kid from eating it. Mom threatens LEGAL action."
I posted this in another forum but received a lot of comments telling me to post it here as well.
I(26f) live in a rented house with a single mother(30f) and her son(6m). I had another person living with me but they moved out and the mother moved in. I don't mind living with her and her kid. It's fine and we kind of do our own thing.
I spend a lot of time at my boyfriend's place or working. Our work schedules collide so we really don't interact much but when we do it's fine. No issue there. I want to start with saying that she clearly struggles financially but I don't think it's an excuse. I don't make lots of money either.
However I've noticed that my food would go missing or portions would be taken from it. I assumed it was her kid so I asked her if she'd stop him from eating my food. I was calm about it and she just said she would.
It didn't really upset me when it first started. It started getting annoying when I'd get home from work and expect to have a meal's worth of leftovers in the fridge only to see it picked through or just gone. I kept bringing it up and she started getting annoyed with me bringing it up.
Just from observing them, I realized that neither of them ever eat vegetables. And judging by the food that would get picked through and the food that would be untouched.
Anything with green in it was avoided. Orange chicken would be gone but chicken and broccoli would be untouched. So I started putting vegetables in EVERYTHING.
I find vegetables to be delicious. And anything green or not a potato does not get eaten. So I could mix some bell peppers into the food and it would be fine. I make a big portion of vegetables pretty frequently anyway so I just started putting it in everything I eat.
If I had leftover mashed potatoes i'd pour green beans in and mix it up. If I had leftover cheesy/bacon fries I'd pour broccoli all over it and mix it in.
Usually my homemade stuff has vegetables in it but I started making sure everything did. I made a pot of mac n cheese(the kid's favorite thing) and poured in roasted Brussels sprouts. Which is actually delicious to me and I'm eating more vegetables so it's a win win.
She had been seeming annoyed but we were all home when I made the pot of mac n cheese. She was in the living room and saw me get out the Brussels sprouts and was like 'what are you going to do with that?' and I poured them in.
She said I was being greedy and annoying. I just said 'I like Brussels sprouts' and that was it. She said 'we need food' and I told her to go get some. Or stop buying only prepackaged things and your money will go further.
I think she sees this as some big act of revenge but I just simply want to be able to eat my food. Also, I want to add that the sharing is not the issue. It's expecting that I will have food there and it's not.
So often I'd be working a long day and get home expecting to have a meal's worth of food and it all be gone. Or I wake up in a rush and had my food ready to eat in the morning only to find it gone.
So now I have to skip breakfast. If she would simply text sometimes 'hey is it okay if we eat *food item*' I would know and know to make other plans. I would stop for food or know I have to whip something up when I get home. Also I think eating the LAST of someone else's food is crazy and rude.
If someone makes a big pot of something and you ask for a serving, sure. But if someone made something and there is one serving left and you eat it without permission that is evil as hell.
So I have been steadfast with putting vegetables in everything. I've put vegetables in things I've never even thought of. This has carried on and the mom calls me a jerk but will not verbalize that she is eating my food. She just sees me making a lasagna and adding celery and bell peppers in the layers of fumes off to the side.
The only thing I can't add vegetables to is snacks like chips or if I bake brownies or cookies. However this is easily remedied by putting baked goods in a Tupperware and keeping them in my room. Same with chips.
As I have previously stated the sharing is not the issue. Recently the kid knocked on my door and asked if he would have a bag of microwave popcorn. I said yes and gave him one. All of this would be way less annoying if she'd just text 'hey can I have some of this' and waited for my response before just helping herself.
I do feel for the mom because she clearly struggles with cooking and trying new foods. She is older than me and winces at the thought of biting into anything green. And it is spreading to her kid but it's no excuse.
A few days ago I was making taco meat out of ground beef and like usual she was looking without looking. She was off to the side watching my every move but trying her best to look normal.
I made a dish the day before that involved sauteed mushrooms and cut up peppers. So when the meat was almost ready I opened the fridge and she freaked when she saw me holding the mushrooms.
She said '(son's name) hates mushrooms!' and I just poured them in the pan and mixed along with the cut up peppers. This caused her to react in a way I'd never seen from her before. She was yelling and stomping around the kitchen while the kid just watched.
I felt bad for the kid to have to see his mom like that. People were worried about her tampering with my food. I don't think she's the kind to do that but if she did I would report that right away. She was flipping out but she didn't snatch my food or knock anything over. She was opening and slamming cabinets and it was all very silly.
Then she started going off about how she is going to get the authorities involved. I just told her 'sure' and that she needs to relax. She seemed genuinely upset and stressed and I told her that I understand being a single mom is hard but she needs to use her government assistance more responsibly.
She'll come home with cold mac n cheese, sushi, and chicken from the grocery store prepared foods and blow all if it on that. I suggested food pantries and buying ingredients that last a while like potatoes. She said I was being condescending and I always have food to eat.
This is to address the 'just make a portion of your food and set it aside for her and the kid.' I do NOT make enough money to regularly feed two other people.
If every now and then she asked for some of my leftovers, sure. But this is a consistent thing that was happening. It's not simple as giving her leftovers that I 'won't eat anyway.'
If I make a pot of something I expect live off of that for the next few days. If it is eaten then MY money is messed up and I have to go shopping again and budget for more food. Wastes my time and money. So, AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
I would have stopped dead in my tracks and asked her why she was telling me that her son hates mushrooms. Call her out directly. Stop skirting the issue. Her food insecurity is NOT your problem. Her STEALING your food is your problem.
This. I don’t get why people beat around the bush in these situations.
I can’t believe people suggested that you make food for the kids. Some Redditors must be in the top 0.1%, lol.
You sound like an awesome cook though. I think you may turn them into veggie lovers soon.
Yeah, it sounds like the mom is very eager to hand you the job of buying their groceries and feeding her kid. No way. Not your job. What I find funny is that, if they’re so hungry, neither of them will stoop to eating a vegetable.
You need to find a new roommate or new place to live, that situation won’t get any better.
I have a rule that if you eat/take the last of something, you let me know. It's not about the sharing. It's about knowing I have something and looking forward to it, only to find it gone. Replacing it later still means I don't get to enjoy something of mine when I was expecting to.
OP - you are not doing anything wrong. She and her kid are NOT your responsibility. You could be making a million dollars a year, and they still wouldn't be your responsibility. The mother (and eventually her child) needs to learn to take responsibility and take care of themselves. It's the mother's job to provide for her child, not yours.