'I just found out my wife has been scamming people and lying to me about it.' UPDATED

"My (M28) Wife (F26) has scammed multiple people, and lied to me about it."

So about a week ago, I got this Facebook message from some lady saying that my wife scammed her out of some money shipping baby clothes. I went to my wife about it before talking to the lady, and my wife said "I've never seen this lady in my life, she's just trying to get you to send her $30." She then went on to block the lady, and that was that.

Well this morning I got a message request from a different lady saying how my wife scammed her out of $120, and sent me screenshots of her and my wife's conversation and transactions. I unblocked the other lady, and she also sent me conversations and transactions.

And apparently THERE ARE OTHERS. So I now have 3 ladies in my DMs with proof that my wife scammed them out of money, lied to them about having a miscarriage, and saying she was on bed rest and couldn't. (She's at work as a bartender rn, she's not on no damn bed rest)

The thing that irks me the most is how quick she was to lie to me and block the lady. It didn't feel right, but I thought oh well, she wouldn't lie about something like this. Now I'm just sitting here wondering how much more she's lied about, and don't feel like I can even trust her. My wife doesn't know I have all of this information, any idea of what I should do next?

What do you think? Here's what top commenters had to say:

emccm said:

Her reaction is a bit sus. She just said “I’ve never seen her before. She’s trying to get money from you”? I’d be all WTF? Who is this? Why do they think that??? Give me their details so I can clear this up.

I’d put a hold on my credit and check all my accounts TBH. If it turns out she’s really doing this I’d find and attorney divorce. If these people are genuine victims and they found you they can find your friends, family and employer.

And OP responded:

Her reaction was what drove me to believe these people. Took my phone and blocked this lady and denied denied denied. Buuut from the messages this lady had with my wife, I fully believe my wife scammed her. And on top she LIED to them.

Said I shipped their packages, lied and said she had a miscarriage and had to be bed ridden, and basically just tried to play the victim the entire time when she had no intentions of giving this lady her stuff. (Even “sold” her some clothing she already gave to somebody else)

PoliteCanadian2 said:

Your wife may have blocked you from seeing the ads, if there are any. These ‘people’ may all be the same person trying to scam your wife, as has been mentioned by others.

And OP responded:

I was worried about that too! Which is why I didn’t go to my wife first. But after investigating most of the day, I believe my wife absolutely was the bad person here. They have her banned on this moms group bc she’s done this before apparently

JSears90210 said:

My first thought would be to look at all 3 of the Facebook profiles to make sure that they are actual people that have an account history. Not just someone who has set up there own scam. Most likely they have not but worht checking.

If this is out of character for your wife I may dig deeper to see what else is going on in her life. Is this money for drugs, gambling debts, or something else that she feels like she needs to hide from you.

Rockincos said:

One thing I think is worth mentioning is sometimes scammers out there will actually steal peoples photos and make a fake account with their photos. An acquaintance I went to school with had it happen to her and the false account was messaging me asking me for money, I didn’t even realize it wasn’t them I was talking to at first.

If you can find the account try comparing it to your wife’s. Is it the same? Is there a weird email attached to it? Some of those are signs to look out for.

El_Ren said:

Does this seem out of character for her? This just seems really fishy, and it doesn’t seem like it took you that long to believe your wife was capable of this sort of thing. If 3 people all contacted me within one week to claim my husband scammed them on Facebook, I wouldn’t believe them.

First of all, I just trust that he’s a good person who wouldn’t take advantage of other people like that, but also … it seems wildly unlikely that 3 three random people would all decide to track me down on Facebook to tell me my husband scammed them all within 1 week. When someone is scammed out of $30, I’m not sure the immediate response is to track down their spouse.

That seems very odd, particularly when it’d be a hell of a lot easier to just post on the applicable Facebook groups/pages to warn others. And if they’d go far enough to locate her spouse, why wouldn’t they be going to the police? I’d be wary if one person contacted you with this story, but three all in one week … that seems super suspicious.

NidorinoBeano said:

Talk to her about why she's doing it and what else she's lied about, she should be worried about the police too

And OP responded:

I don’t think she’ll be honest at this point. I got invited to the fb group my wife sold this stuff in, and they have a whole like 3 posts talking about how she’s on a ban list, and she’s cheated people out of money etc.

kpkristy said:

If someone told my husband I was scamming them, I would be out of my mind! I would certainly want to get to the bottom of it!!! I would turn into Sherlock Holmes, figure out what happened, make public posts about a scammer stealing my identity, and figure a way to put an end to all of it.

Seems a little odd, the way your wife brushed it off and just blocked them on your phone. Wouldn't you want to clear your name if that happened to you? So I agree it seems a little suspicious how she is behaving, I donno though.

And OP responded:

I fully believed her at first! She’s given me 0 reason to not. Buuut through further investigation I completely believe it. There’s a whole moms group on fb that swaps baby clothes and they have her on a no sell list bc she’s done this sort of thing before apparently. Makes me really question what else she’s lied about

A few days after his original post, OP shared this update:

I confronted my wife with all of the evidence that’s she 1000% did this including the money trail, and had my phone recording everything and a hidden security camera going to watch it all, and she still denied it all. And then told me I was a “joke of a husband” for not believing her in this whole ordeal.`

And she continued to berate me for about 45 minutes, and say just awful things. Anytime I would bring up a point she would just dismiss it and continue to gas light me. So I’m taking my 2 year old daughter, and going to my buddy’s house for the rest of the week.