Woman cuts sister off from riding horse after she tries to rename it, sister snaps. UPDATED
Cutting off someone's access to a gift you've been consistently giving them can be supremely awkward, but sometimes, it's the only way to draw a boundary.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for cutting her sister off from a horse she's been riding the past year. She wrote:
"AITA for 'stealing' my sister's horse?"
I 20F started online side hustles 1 year ago and I have made a pretty good income since. My sister always wanted to have a horse and I also loved horses. I bought one for myself about 6 months ago. I called her Reina and I have to admit I don't always go horse riding. I told my sister 22F she could ride whenever she wanted and she started taking lessons on her. My sister loved Reina.
At one point she tried changing her name but I did not allow it. After a while she started calling her "My horse" and she would frequently invite friends to ride her. I would hear it from the stable owner. I didn't think much of it until recently. My sister came to me and said she wanted to move Reina to another stable. I asked her why and she said she wanted Reina in the same stable as her friend's horse.
I didn't like the idea but after all, she is frequently riding on Reina and the other stable is also closer to home so I said sure. Then she said she had already arranged everything because she knew I'd say yes. I got annoyed but just let it slide. So last week I went to visit Reina and wanted to ride. Turns out my sister also wanted to do horse riding.
I haven't been on Reina for 2 months or so while my sister rides like 3/4 times a week. I told my sister that I only have time that day and said she could rent a horse for that one lesson on my costs. She then told me that I should just get off of her horse and rent one for myself if I want to ride that bad. We got in an argument and she literally yelled at me for everything.
She said that I am a bad sister that I don't care about her that I am a brat and I don't deserve anything. Now our relationship always has been bad and she has always had anger issues but this reaction really pissed me off. I told her that Reina was not her horse in any sense. I pay for all her expenses. I paid for the horse and my name is the name on Reina's passport.
I told her that from now on she is not allowed to ride Reina and she can either buy herself a horse or rent one but she needs to stay away from mine. My sister kept yelling and said that I am stealing her horse and that Reina doesn't even know me. She said that I am the worst sister ever and told our parents.
My parents think that I am right but that I am overreacting because my sister has always had anger issues. They are saying that my sister really loves horse riding and she loves Reina. I told them she should have thought about that before disrespecting me. So AITA?
The internet was fully invested.
buongiornoitaly wrote:
NTA. She is your horse and as long as she is taken care of by what you are providing, that's what matters but I would set some precautions in place in case your sister still try to get access to her.
CrankyWife wrote:
NTA. Keeping a horse is an expensive hobby, and you were gracious enough to allow your sister to ride. Obviously, when you want to ride you sister should step aside because it is your horse. I'm sure she and the horse have bonded, but that does not make her any less your horse.
Red_X_101 had a leading question:
NTA. The sister sounds entitled, did the parents spoil her when she was younger?
And OP responded:
Well, they treated us both the same but let's just say my sister spoiled herself. My parents would always buy us our needs. For example, my sister got a Macbook worth 1400 USD and after a year decided to do another study she needed another laptop. So my dad bought her a second laptop of 1300 USD.
I, on the other hand, bought my own laptop of 1400USD because I could afford it and didn't want to use all my parent's money. Guess maybe I should've also just spoiled myself a little bit lmao.
Emotional_Bonus_934 wrote:
NTA but your parents and sister are; what did they do to take care of her anger issues? What has she done? I would've your horse to a 3rd stable and be sure to let them know that only you can ride her, I expect you'll have to pay someone at the stable to exercise her.
And OP responded:
I already pay every stable to exercise her whether she is being ridden or not. I guess I haven't entirely made up my mind yet. I have been starting to negotiate with my sister and don't know how it will turn out.
After receiving a good deal of feedback, OP jumped on with a clarifying update:
Update: I see a lot of people who actually think I ride her once in 2 months. That is not true. I used to visit her 1-3 times a week but in those 2 months I have been very busy. The first month I was with her really really often to create a bond and Reina knows that I am her owner. When she saw me she was really happy and did not go to my sister but she came to me.
So she definitely knows who her owner is. Besides get my a$$ off? I have explained this in so many comments. I have been busy with work and didn't even have enough time to sleep. I love my horse and I always try to visit her but in the last two months I did not have any time. My life has been full with work and study. I had to travel a lot for work as well to meet new clients or projects etc.
I have been doing schoolwork on airplanes. I have been working my a$$ off to keep up with this life and I pay thousands of dollars for Reina to be taken care of. Reina is being exercised multiple times a week and is definitely taken care of in the best way possible.
OP is NTA here, but her sister needs to check her own entitlement.