'My sister asked my daughter to call her mom and my husband defended her. AITA?' UPDATED

"AITA for getting mad at my older sister for asking my daughter to call her mom?"

Here's the original post:

My older sister is childless because she unfortunately unable to have children, She volunteers to babysit my 3 year old daughter all the time.

Well I came home last night with my husband,my daughter and sister were watching a movie in the living room and didn’t hear us when we came in. We went in the kitchen to put some stuff away and I ended up overhearing my daughter asking my sister for something to drink, saying “Auntie K can you get me a drink please” and my sister replies with “only if you call me mom”

I was really upset I told my husband to get our daughter ready for bed and once she left the room I starting telling my sister off for trying to get my daughter to refer to her as mom and told her she won’t be babysitting my daughter anymore.

My husband thinks I overreacted and that my pregnancy Hormones are getting the best of me, he thinks I should apologize and thinks even if it does mean more then that it’s probably just my sister still grieving over being infertile. AITA?

What do you think? This is what top commenters had to say:

Roatie said:

NTA. Wtf? She might still be grieving, but she was way out of line.

TimeandEntropy said:

NTA Someone's emotions don't give license to behaved so incredibly inappropriately. This is not your hormones. Her grief is unfortunate but not an excuse. What she did was incredibly out of line. Excusing it, justifying it, ignoring it could lead to it being worse. If she's struggling that much she needs help from a therapist. You have nothing to apologize for.

NoisyTummy said:

NTA. She is massively overstepping and you did the right thing by not allowing her to babysit anymore. Once the drama is over (sorry, there will be, but stick to your guns) talk to her about considerig adoption, since it's clear she wants a child. Your husband should think again over the situation, if he doesn't see it as the dangerous and emotionally abusive thing it is.

FredMist said:

NTA... sounds like your sister was playing family with your daughter and your husband where she was the mom. Something seems really off if your husband can’t see why it’s wrong and defends her.

bossymomma29 said:

NTA, I’m a little put off by your husbands reaction, he’s making excuses for her over stepping a pretty serious boundary.

And [deleted] said:

NTA - that is completely inappropriate of your sister and could be extremely confusing for your kids. Your sister needs to come to terms with her infertility without this kind of inappropriate behavior.

Commenters unanimously agreed: YTA.

She later shared this completely wild and messy update on the situation:

I spoke to my husband and it didn’t go to well, when I brought up how I didn’t appreciate him undermining my concerns about my sisters actions he didn’t really want to talk about it and kept on telling me he doesn’t see a point in continuing just a trivial conversation and when I asked him why he was in the car for so long with my sister all he would say was that he was comforting her,

when I asked about the details of the conversation he’d avoid the question telling me that I’m overreacting. I really thought that the best action for me would be talking to my husband but it made my concerns worst.

I texted my sister saying that we need to have a completely honest heart to heart conversation, she agreed and she came to my house the next morning when my husband was at work.

My sister apologized to me and admitted that ever since I gotten married and pregnant she became extremely jealous because she always wanted a family and she felt as she’d never get one

She started crying barley even able to get a sentence out and told me that she did something terrible and that she doesn’t want me to hate her. It took her a while to get it out but she ended confessing that she been having an affair with my husband.

She told me that when I go to my in laws house to help my FIL with my MIL (she’s has Alzheimer’s) that they’d see each other when he came home from work and ended developing a romantic relationship, that they flirted before that but nothing serious and that she started imagining herself as my daughters mom and even started picturing herself as pregnant.

Sorry I’m really tired while writing this and haven’t really had a good night rest for a while. Thanks for the advice.

I am 7 months pregnant and I do have a younger sister and an older brother who would be willing to help. I am a registered nurse just currently not working but could definitely go back to working.

I haven’t yet confronted my husband and I don’t think my sister told him she confessed, I’m just in shock and confused, I really thought he’d be someone I’d spend the rest of my life with now I’m having a hard time even being in the same room as him, I just don’t even know what to say to him or how he’d react.

I just feel super emotional over this whole situation my husband knows something is up and I know I gonna talk to him about it soon. I do plan to talk to a lawyer.

What a nightmare. Good luck, OP.