'AITA for stealing my sisters thunder at her engagement party?'
'AITA for stealing my sisters thunder at her engagement party?'
My (23F) sister (25F) recently got engaged to her fiancé (26M) after they'd been dating for a year. Their engagement party was basically a dinner with friends and close relatives, and my sister went all out on the food.
To her, marriage is a huge deal, and she's had her whole wedding and married life planned out since we were kids.
I've never felt the same excitement for weddings and kids and such things, even though I do want it at some point, and since I'm a lesbian in an homophobic family, I long ago accepted that a big fancy wedding with my father walking me down the aisle isn't part of the plan.
This doesn't sadden me much, but my sister (who's the only one in my family who know about my sexuality) has been convinced that I'm jealous of her since she started dating her fiancé.
The dinner started out great, but after the main course, my family and relatives started asking about my dating life. It was pretty harmless questions at first, such as 'When are you getting a boyfriend?' and 'Why aren't you dating? I saw that boy hitting on you just yesterday!'
It annoyed me, but my sister seemed even more annoyed. After dessert, when the alcohol started kicking in, the questions got a little out of hand. My mom said 'I can't believe your sister got engaged first, you've always been more social!' and my grandma commented on that I was 'the more attractive sister'.
My sister obviously got hurt by this, and I caught her crying in the bathroom at one point. I tried to talk to her, but all she said was 'Happy? You've made my engagement all about you.' and then avoided me for the rest of the party.
So this is the part where I might have been the bad guy. After my aunt asked when I would get a boyfriend for the millionth time, and I'd had my millionth glass of wine, I told her that I'd never get a boyfriend, but when I got a girlfriend she'd be the first to know.
I then stormed out of the apartment, accidentally knocking a glass over, and took a cab home. My phone immediately started blowing up, but I turned notifications off and went straight to bed.
One of me and my sister's mutual friends, who was at the party, told me the next day that a wild discussion about what I said to my aunt was held and then the party was cut short. My sister locked herself in her room crying and everyone went home.
I have now been blocked by most of my family and relatives. My sister sent me a nasty text about how me coming out at her party stole her thunder, and my mother no longer considers me family.
I'm not gonna try to make up excuses for my behavior, because I definitely could have been a more supporting sister, but I just wanted to know, AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
ESH Let me explain. It isn’t YOUR fault you were asked questions. Period. The relatives kept saying stuff that was 1) Taking the shine off of your sister 2) Bringing up your dating status.
It's easy to say come out earlier, not necessarily the easiest thing to do irl though.
NTA You weren’t the one making it all about you, your family was. Who the fuck says that someone is more attractive than someone else right in front of the person?
ESH. There are a bunch of homophobic a**holes. You shouldn't have made a scene, and you shouldn't have been drinking. That was not the place nor the time to come out. By the sound of it, both sisters have suffered their fair share of emotional abuse from their family.
'My grandma commented on that I was 'the more attractive sister.''
Instead of coming out, publicly saying, 'wow, what a f-ked up thing to say Grandma. What is wrong with you? This is my sister's engagement party, who says that at someone else's engagement party? Why can't you all be happy for my sister, who is engaged and looking beautiful?'
It's looking like you might be the favoured younger child, and you've not done anything to call that out before. ESH I really feel bad for your sister, imagine being called the unattractive sibling at your engagement party and have everyone prioritise your single sister's potential future engagement over your own actual engagement.