'AITA for saying I would stay at my mom's if I have to share a room with babies?' UPDATED 3X

"AITA for saying I would stay at my mom's if I have to share a room with babies?"

I’m 16(F). My parents split up before I was born, custody is I live with my dad most of the time and my mom every other weekend (plus random staying with her if I want). Recently, my dad got engaged to “Hanna”, and she and her kids are moving in. Hanna’s kids ages are: 9, 7, 2, 2, 2. She is widowed, so they live with her full-time.

This made room arrangements a bit awkward, since there’s only 3 kids bedrooms to go around. Dad and Hanna talked it over last night (without consulting anybody) and Hanna came over this morning to announce with my dad what they decided.

Apparently, they want 9 and 7 to each have their own rooms, and me to share with the triplets because my room is significantly bigger than the others “and I don’t stay there full time.” I said their plan was stupid, they wanted me to share with 3 toddlers. They said they didn’t want me to move but it was the biggest room so other people should share.

I said I didn’t care if I switched rooms, because the more logical move would have been the triplets in the big room, 7 and 9 share, and I get my own (I said I’d take the smallest one) until I move out. They said it would be more work to move my things to another room, and their idea was more “practical”. Then asked why I was so pressed since I don’t even live here full time.

I said not staying in the room four days a month was a sorry excuse to land me with a bunch of toddlers, and if they seriously planned on doing it to me I’d make the custody arrangement change and I’d stay with mom for the most part (I know she doesn’t mind because both of them remind me I could stay with her whenever I wanted).

This made Hanna cry because she just wants her family to blend together nicely and apparently I was ruining her plans. This made dad mad at me and I'm not allowed to talk to Hanna until she forgives me. I didn’t know this meant so much to them but I’m still saying I’ll stay with mom longer if I have to share with toddlers, but my dad made me feel a bit guilty so AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

CakeEatingRabbit wrote:

NTA. They KNOW what they are doing to you. They only act like they don't. You sharing with the triplets makes you care for them at night and as soon as their bed time begins. It is not practical at all, where should you hang out between their and your bed time? Living room with them?

I would assume Hanna wants you to leave and your dad either wants you to babysit or simply doesn't actually care if you are there but they want you to be the bad guy.

JustAShyAvocado wrote:

NTA. Hannah thinks the best way for her “family” to “blend together nicely” is to instantly make her step-daughter the free babysitter for her 3 Toddlers?

Dang, like…at least the evil step-mother waited till Cinderella’s father died, not just made her a free maid instantly. Also, your dad kinda sucks, who in their right mind would want to share a room with 3 toddlers? Let alone someone that’s almost an adult? He’s favorizing his step-kids over his bio daughter to keep Hannah happy, and he’s willing to make YOU sacrifice things like your privacy.

Crazybutnotlazy1983 wrote:

NTA the b*$%h is not crying because she wants a blended family, she is crying because she wants a f*#king nanny.

Paevatar wrote:

NTA. This room arrangement is insane. How will you get any quiet and privacy for studying? What about privacy during your menses? The two-year-olds will get into all your belongings and possibly damage them. Their diapers will smell. I think Hanna is being sneaky and manipulative. She intends to push you out of your home by making you share your room with three toddlers.

Her crying and 'hurt feelings' are more manipulative tactics to turn your father against you, and it looks like it's working. You don't owe Hanna or your father any apologies. Also, when your father wants you to babysit Hanna's kids, as I'm sure he will, you have the right to refuse. Talk with your mother about this and see if you can stay with her permanently.

Odd_Fellow_2112 wrote:

NTA, who the hell wants to share a br with 3 toddlers? Hanna and your dad are bu$#heads and I mean that as politely as I can due to your age. Your plan works the best in every scenario except whatever Hanna is thinking.

Almost seems like she either A) Trying to force you to move out by doing this or B) Forcing you to be the defacto babysitter/parent of 3 two-year-olds because it would be more convenient and makes sense since you are already there. Either case sucks and is not fair. If your dad doesn't want you to talk to Hanna until you apologize, it sounds like a good deal to me. Don't.

Here's OP's first update:

I’m at my moms house at least for the weekend while the adults ‘try to work things out’ but my mom said I was welcome to live with her full time and if I really wanted we could change the custody agreement. :) Also thank you for all the replies I really wasn’t expecting this to blow up as much as it did lol

Update 2 from OP:

Everyone talked, but dad and Hanna are staying with their decision and I’ve decided to move to my moms long term, and we’re gonna switch the custody around (so I’ll only see my dad every other weekend) and I’m just gonna sleep on the couch when I’m there. Obviously nothing is set yet but that’s what we’re gonna do, and thanks everyone for being so nice haha

Update from OP, 1 year later:

I still get messages here I just found this account again haha so I thought I’d update whoever sees this lol. I still live with my mom and I love it here. Hanna openly dislikes me so I don’t even stay for weekends anymore at my dads house, we call sometimes but it’s what it is I guess.

Hanna’s kids are fine but I only see them on holidays. Also: Hanna’s pregnant again and 7 and 9 (now 8 and 10) are going to share a room. So I guess it wasn’t too much work in the first place she just hated me. Lol