Woman snaps at parents after they ask to borrow money for gifts for younger siblings.

No one likes having their old words thrown back in their face if it feels inconvenient. But sometimes, it's the only way to make a point.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for telling her parents it's not her job to provide for her siblings when they can't. She wrote:

"AITA for telling my parents it's not my job to provide for my siblings when they cannot?"

I (20F) am the oldest of four and I do not live with my parents anymore. Our relationship is not good either. One of the biggest reasons is my parents flipped the script with my siblings when it came to gifts for Christmas and Birthdays. My siblings are 16, 14, and 11 so four years between me and their next kid. I know it's a bigger gap than say two years but it's not huge either.

Yet they parented them so differently and spoiled them. For me, gifts were needs and not wants and I was told I should be appreciative of having food in my belly, a roof over my head and clothes on my back. If I asked for something I wanted they would tell me I didn't need it. I didn't need a doll, I didn't need art supplies, I didn't need a toy kitchen. They never ever said that to my siblings.

They would get dolls, action figures, bikes, trampolines, paint sets, jewelry kits, all kinds of fun toys. They also got cell phones and tablets when they got older. I normally got clothes. Sometimes I would get cheap ass basic hygiene products (body wash and stuff). My parents made it a huge point to nip it in the bud when I was upset with my underwhelming gifts. Especially when my siblings came along.

They told me they were babies, they were little, etc. But that energy was never there for me. I do resent it. Yeah, I had all the basics, but my siblings had so much more than that. My siblings are also very spoiled and entitled because of it. My sister (16) used to bug me and get frustrated with me for not having nice stuff she could borrow.

She asked me once what was the point in having a sister if she couldn't raid my closet. I told her it wasn't my fault our parents didn't buy me nice s**t like her. She laughed and told me that's what being the oldest means. My brothers would tell me to buy them stuff and say they got pocket money so I did too (I never got pocket money). When I explained that I didn't it would end with them saying I was a baby.

I moved out of my parents house and in with my aunts. I stayed with them for several months when I started college and now I share an apartment with some friends while we all attend college. I also work. My parents have fallen on hard times now and right before Christmas.

They told me they didn't have the money to get my siblings what they want for Christmas and told me I needed to let them borrow money or buy the gifts on their behalf and they would pay me back. I told them it's not my job to provide for my siblings when they cannot. They argued that my siblings would be disappointed to get nothing from their wish lists.

I told them they don't need nice gifts, they only need clothes and food and a roof over their heads and they have all that. My parents said I'm a terrible big sister. AITA?

The internet weighed in with lots of thoughts.

IAmMikki wrote:

NTA and I mean a HUGE NTA. First and foremost, it is not your responsibility to provide for your siblings, as you said, they have everything they need along with nice things they already have. It's your parents fault for raising yours siblings in a way that they will be unhappy if they don't get things from their wishlist.

Not that gift giving should be about "getting credit", but because you'd be helping pay for the gifts, it's not like you'll be getting any of the credit either. If they're only able to get a couple of gifts they want, you're not going to get any credit for helping out to make that happen. In fact, your parents are already using this as a way to guilt trip you, so if someone complains, I have no doubt they'd use you as a scapegoat.

YouthNAsia63 wrote:

Awwwww, your siblings might be disappointed to not get nice gifts at Christmas. :(

Hey, they have food in their belly and a roof over their head and clothes on their back! That’s good enough, right? RIGHT? Cause it sure as hell was good enough-for you. NTA.

OP responded:

Right. That's my whole stance. Why is it so horrifying for them but it was more than enough for me apparently.

lizardmalk wrote:

NTA - Really easy NTA. Your siblings don't want for anything. It's not going to hurt them too have a thin Christmas. I wish I could say that it might help them appreciate what they have, but I doubt it. If I were in your shoes, I'd donate to a children's charity in each of their names as a gift.

HUNGWHITEBOI25 wrote:

YOU, my young friend are not only NTA but you are also a GENIUS for throwing that stupid retort they always made back in their faces. Oh you just KNOW they hated hearing it. Naw you did absolutely nothing wrong, you held a mirror up to their bad parenting and they didn’t like it. Don’t give them a cent, because you know they won’t pay you back. Good luck.

Very-truly-up-yours wrote:

NTA. Sing it with me now:

You can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want. You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.

OP is NTA at all, she simply showed her parents who they are.