Guest steals Thanksgiving turkey and runs out with it. UPDATED ONE YEAR LATER
"Guest stole our Thanksgiving turkey."
Stolenturkey2022
I’m confused and frustrated and need to vent. We hosted Thanksgiving this year - husband and I, our two kids, husband’s siblings and nieces and nephews, and most importantly, husband’s gravely ill mother.
We’re all at peace that this Thanksgiving and Christmas will probably be our last holidays together. It’s been emotional and exhausting but we really wanted to make a memorable day that everyone would enjoy.
Our daughter Mary is visiting from college and one day before she flew in she says her boyfriend (Chris) is actually flying to our city to visit friends over the break. Mary asked if he could come over for Thanksgiving.
We’ve never met Chris before but to be honest, we’re not wild about him. As soon as Mary started dating him, we started seeing some worrying changes in her. Our son (who is just a couple years older) confided in us that Mary is getting into the party scene largely because of Chris. We’ve tried gently bringing up our concerns with Mary, but she shuts it down and has started to pull away from us.
So because we didn’t want to alienate her, we said Chris could visit, but they’d need to stay in separate rooms. She said that won’t matter because he’s booked a hotel room and she’ll be staying there with him the whole weekend. Ah, ok.
Cut to Thanksgiving and Mary and Chris arrive. He’s - not the greatest. He makes a couple rude/snide remarks throughout the visit, and hits the alcohol way harder than is appropriate. My family was in a very earnest mood, if that makes sense. Lots of emotion. And he was just dismissive and flippant and cast a shadow on everything.
At one point, everyone started telling stories about their favorite holidays at MIL’s house when she would go all out for family parties. My husband and I stopped working in the kitchen to join the conversation.
When we go back to the kitchen after maybe half an hour, I went to check the turkey in the oven, and it was gone. Completely missing. I ask my husband if he did something with the turkey, and he was just as confused as I was. We looked all over the kitchen and house and couldn’t find it.
We go out to the living room and ask everyone if they know what happened to the turkey, and no one knows what we’re talking about. At this point I realize Chris isn’t around. I pull Mary to the side and ask where he is, because I don’t want to jump to conclusions and make accusations. She said he had to leave to go meet up with friends.
I asked her to text him and ask if her knows what happened to the turkey, and Mary kind of rolled her eyes. At this point it’s dawning on me that Chris probably stole the turkey and left out the back door while we were sharing stories with MIL but I’m just so confused why anyone would do something like that. I can’t bring myself to actually make the accusation out loud.
So we were left in the terrible position of having everything else ready, but no turkey. We had to break it to the family that we had no turkey and everyone is confused and sad. Mary said she had to get going to an event with Chris, which deeply disappointed me. I told her as much and she just said she’ll see us again later this weekend.
My in-laws went driving around to restaurants and grocery stores and pieced together enough stuff that we were able to have a meal much later than expected, but it felt like the whole day was ruined.
Everyone was kind of murmuring about Chris leaving around the time the turkey disappeared, but no one wanted to actually accuse him out loud because it’s such an explosion allegation and there’s not actually any proof.
I’m just confused why anyone would do such a thing, and heartbroken because my MIL didn’t deserve this at all. At one point she teared up but pulled it together. I’m also increasingly angry with my daughter but I feel like I can’t say anything because she’ll just pull away more.
Update: I was talking with my son today and he told me that last night Chris started taunting him over text about the missing turkey. So that settles it - Chris stole the turkey basically as a big f you to all of us.
My son didn’t say anything at the time because he didn’t want to make people more upset than they already were. One of husband’s siblings is very mad at us for how things turned out and how MIL was disrespected. Sibling is not talking with us right now. I’ve tried calling and texting Mary but she is so far ignoring me. That’s all I have to say about this.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
wizardjester1
Bruh this dude stole your turkey and you're scared to say something? First time meeting him and he shows up and steals a turkey.
x-Lascivus-x
She is going to pull away regardless of whether you say anything or not. The difference will be in whether or not she will use your hesitation to confront her behavior - and that of her boyfriend - to take advantage of you again in the future.
I would ask her - openly - if he took the turkey. They probably promised their friends a Thanksgiving gathering, and provided it to them at the expense of your wallet and emotional well-being. Her reaction will tell you everything you need to know about whether they had anything to do with the turkey’s fate.
NikD4866
All else aside, who just leaves Thanksgiving family dinner out the back door? And he 1000% most definitely stole the turkey, which is SOOO fing disrespectful and everyone should’ve made a huge deal out of it. Daughter needs to understand that it’s a FACT, not opinion that she’s dating a POS.
Next-End-4696
You should re-do thanksgiving next week or even this weekend. You need to call Mary out on her boyfriend stealing the turkey. You know that she was in on it - don’t you?
Candy_Venom
Y'all are to polite for your own good. My family would fired off "did your scumbag boyfriend steal our fing turkey?" Without a seconds hesitation. Literally the moment it was even suspected.
One year later, the OP suddenly returned with an update.
"Update: Guest stole our Thanksgiving turkey"
Stolenturkey2022
Hi everyone, this incident has been on my family’s mind this week and my son encouraged me to write an update. Last year I hoped to talk with Mary in person about what Chris did, but she blew me off and didn’t visit home for the rest of Thanksgiving weekend.
We spoke briefly on the phone a few days later but she denied that Chris stole our turkey, even though Chris taunted my son about it (basically admitting what he did).
Unfortunately, my MIL passed away about two weeks after Thanksgiving. The ripple effects were profound. Our family expected her to live through Christmas, so it was very difficult to lose what we thought would be her last holiday. And it was even more bitter that the Thanksgiving that was her actual last holiday was ruined by Chris and his incomprehensible theft.
From there it got even worse. Mary flew in for my MIL’s funeral and mentioned that Chris might travel with her to see a concert in our city. We made it clear that he was not welcome in our home or at the funeral. He ultimately stayed at their college. But on the day of the visitation, a bomb threat was made against the funeral home and we all had to evacuate while the police conducted a search.
The police were never able to prove it, but I strongly suspect Chris made the threat. My MIL’s visitation was cut significantly short and she was denied a dignified end. Some people who wanted to pay their respects ultimately could not because of the evacuation and inspection.
One of my husband’s siblings has gone no contact with us because they blame my husband and I for ruining the end of MIL’s life by inviting Chris to Thanksgiving last year. Mary refused to take any responsibility for how her relationship with Chris has damaged our family. We (husband and I and Mary) have mutually decided to go no contact.
My son has minimal contact with Mary and follows her on social media. Apparently Mary and Chris are still together. I’m sorry I have such a sad update, but my family and I are very grateful for all the support we received last year. Thank you.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after this latest update:
ElBarto_97
I remember reading your post last year and I was hoping Mary would see that Chris isn’t a good guy or that some repercussions would happen. Unfortunately, it just got much worse. I’m so sorry that your family is dealing with someone like Chris. Hopefully Mary will realize that Chris isn’t all she thinks he is and can get away from him one day.
Bonnm42
I hope you cut her off completely. I hate to tell you this OP but Mary knew. There’s no way she didn’t see a whole Turkey when she went by his friends. No way she didn’t piece together Chris not being allowed to the funeral home and a bomb threat gets made to that exact funeral home.
Also, I really hope you shared your suspicions with the police about Chris making a bomb threat. That is a serious offense and he deserves consequences for his disgusting behavior.
Top_Put1541
Mary seems like the kind of spoiled, sheltered kid who went off to college with absolutely no skills in how to detect or deflect exploitative aholes.
The OP and her husband also seem like they wouldn't hold their darling baby - who was 100% in in the turkey-stealing, make no mistake - accountable, so it’s no wonder at least one relative who’s tired of their niece and her dirtbag boyfriend ruining family events has distanced themselves.
It’s insane that the OP is still paying any part of Mary’s college expenses after any of this. Let Mary figure out how to make it work if shes so determined to act as if she’s not a family member.