Pregnant woman learns sister she took in is stealing from her husband, he leaves her. AITA?
"AITA for not doing anything about my sister and her husband stealing from my husband?"
yvilc2130
My husband left me (F26) and our 7 yr old son recently. I'm also 21 wks pregnant with our 2nd child. For context, my sister Annie (F28) and her husband + 2 kids had been renting my basement from me for about 2 yrs now and my husband just recently moved in 7 months ago after a 4.5 yr break.
Husband is very reserved and always wanted our family to live alone for financial reasons (my sister was paying $400 rent including bills while I kept piling debt to cover everything in the house on top of my own expenses.)
I was trying to help her financial situation and damaged mine in doing so. Well, that changed a few months into my husband moving back in with me. Rent and bills were all split fairly and Annie was actually paying it all on time.
Fast forward to now, my husband finds out he is missing some belongings. Last week we found out my other sister Jenna (F20) had $100 missing from her room. Annie and her husband have a history of stealing (Annie took pictures of mom's debit card and made Jenna keep it a secret) years ago.
Annie also broke into mom's safe and stole cash when they were living with mom. Her husband also has his sticky fingers history. My husband says this is the 2nd time his belongings have gone missing and demands I do something about it. Gives an ultimatum.
He knows I don't have the heart to kick them out, so he ends up packing his things and leaving. That same day after he left, I spoke with Annie and asked her to leave because my husband thinks I sided with her.
I haven't confronted them about anything missing because I don't have evidence it was them (we are 95% sure it was her husband), and she agreed to leave in 2-3 months. He hasn't spoken to me in 4 days since he left.
Mom thinks he overreacted and should not have abandoned his pregnant wife and son over something that could have been solved, she suggested to lock our room. Apparently Annie and her husband were planning on leaving soon anyways and that my husband should have just waited it out. Seems like he let his ego get in the way.
I feel bad that I lost my sister's trust and that she did that to us. I also feel bad that my husband has put me in the situation to choose between Annie and him. I'm also upset that he hasn't responded to my text when I updated him that they would be leaving in 2-3 months. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Agile_Idea_5311
YTA. You absolutely sided with her. It shouldn't be hard to choose between your spouse and a thief who doesn't respect your home or family.
FAFO-13
YTA. Your sister is a piece of shit and stole from your husband. You took her side.
Electronic_Fox_6383
He should have called the police and charged them with theft. And you should have never had two thieves in your house in the first place. Good luck getting your husband back again. YTA.
boredathome1962
YTA. You are effectively saying your husband should just put up with having his stuff stolen, and Mum agrees. Oh gosh, you have so enabled your useless sister that you turn everyone else away, even your husband, the father of your children.
To be honest, I think he's right. You are happy to destroy your marriage and your finances to keep peace with your sister! That's bonkers, and you will be destroyed by it. Get a spine, and blame the ones that are to blame, kick them out, NOW, not in 2 - 3 months. For goodness sake, stand up for yourself.
eightmarshmallows
YTA. Your family is terrible. Stop “helping” people who are just trying to take advantage of you and your husband. It’s not ok to subject him to that.
Ok_Play2364
2 to 3 months? They should be gone yesterday for stealing from the people helping them out. THAT'S why your husband isn't contacting you.
concernedforhumans
You lost your sister’s trust? Not the other way round? You still trust her? You still think she’s going to leave?
Sensitive-Iron-5269
YTA. He stole from your husband. You should’ve said you will confront Annie because you have a suspicion it was her husband and not her that stole and you will kick the husband out but not your sister and her children if it wasn’t her.
I think that would’ve been fair and a middle ground for your husband. The culprit is out of the house. He doesn’t have to worry about locking your room or anything of value in your room.
Your husband could’ve called the cops on Annie’s husband but didn’t. I would feel uncomfortable if a thief was under my roof. Honestly I’d be so fed up with you if you chose a thief living with you over the father of your children.
And your husband is the reason why you’re not struggling with the bills anymore. I feel bad for Annie’s kids. Hopefully they don’t grow up with sticky fingers because they saw their parents do that. And do you want your children around that kind of influence?
Carolinamama2015
YTA, you tell her to leave, and the response you get is oh we will in another 2-3 MONTHS?! What else could go missing in those months you and your mother and Jenna for that matter are all enablers of Annie and her husband.
I don't blame your husband for leaving, someone shouldn't have to look their bedroom door everytime they leave their house cause you sister and BIL are pieces of crap.