Dad emails son about vacation, son doesn't reply fast enough, so dad says 'you can't come.'
We all know the phrase: you snooze you lose. But being faced with the reality of the phrase is deeply unpleasant.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a dad asked if he was wrong for telling his son that he's not coming on vacation because he didn't check his email. He wrote:
"AITA for telling my son that he's not coming on vacation because he didn't check his emails?"
I'm planning a family Thanksgiving vacation and a really good deal came up to go to the Cook Islands. I emailed my son 20yo Ollie on Friday and called Sunday to see if he wanted to go. He's in college and I'm not wasting money on a ticket if he didn't want to go. I needed to know by today because I have to get visas for my 16, 11 and 8yo sons. Well, he didn't so I bought the package.
Just now he texted me saying he wanted to go. I said too late. Already bought the tickets. Next time check your email or answer your f*&king phone. He said most people communicate on text. I said well most people don't get to go to the Cook Islands. Now his mom/my ex is trying to tell me that he's Gen Z and text is their primary communication format.
Had I texted him, then he would had responded. I said I don't care. I'm well in my 40s and check my ALL of my communication formats because I don't want to miss anything.
People had a lot to say to OP.
SufficientComedian6 wrote:
If my 63yo husband can primarily text for everything you are certainly capable of basic effort if there’s an urgent need to reach your child. YTA because I don’t think you have any intention of including your oldest on this trip you certainly did the very minimum to ask him about it. You had to know today and he called you today! YTA.
weegmack wrote:
Wow. So my 21-year-old daughter is also at university and last year, we noticed that she was beginning to not reply to texts - from us and other family and friends. I got impatient about it too, but I'd NEVER have refused her a freaking family holiday over that! My initial frustration quickly gave way to concern and it turned out my daughter was really struggling with her mental health and actually has ADHD.
Part of her ADHD is overwhelm and she was just like a dear in headlights with texting. Texting to their age group is incessant - there's no break from it at all. Why don't you check-in with your son and see if he's actually OK, before punishing him like that? YTA.
mindfluxx wrote:
YTA, because seriously you should already know to text if you communicate regularly with your kid. I’m prob your age and my kid is your kids age. The current standards of behavior with those under 30 is to text first. Some of them never look at email at all since it’s all junk.
Huffingflour wrote:
YTA. You just are, I’m amazed you typed that out and confidently posted it lol. Hypothetically, do you email your boss that you’re not coming in or do you think a call would be faster and more convenient on both ends? Like you wake up sick, can’t get in and you’re already running late.
Would you email them “won’t be in” hoping that they check it and know you’re at home, or would you call to make sure they knew? Poor planning on your end. Sounds like you planned to make sure he didn’t go.
TheLoudestSmallVoice wrote:
YTA that's waaaaay too little time to give someone in college a notice. You really couldn't leave a text or voicemail? I would assume it's not urgent if it was only one call. Bro you need to chill.
OP is clearly TA, and isn't owning up to it.