Instead of a dozen roses, 12 people share their worst Valentine's dates.
There are few holidays that inspire such passionate love and hate like Valentine's Day.
In honor of the holiday, we scowered the internet for people sharing their most shockingly romanceless, but very memorable dates.
1. CrazySnekGirl
It was with an undertaker's assistant. He'd circle every topic of conversation back to corpses. Me: 'So, do you know what you're gonna order?' Him: 'Well I was thinking the steak, but I had eaten steak when we got the river guy in, and now it makes me feel queasy.' I ended up leaving after half an hour.
2. tractorsuit
I was on a tinder date and we met at a bar. She was a bit late so I have sample of their whiskey selection. Anyways 10 minutes later a girl comes towards me and I reach out for a hug, she looks a bit confused but hugs me nonetheless.
As we stop hugging two things happen simultaneously. 1 my Tinderdate arrives, and we lock eyes. 2 The waiter, still in my arms, tells me they just changed shifts and she will be my server this evening.
My anxiety kicks it into high gear and I am barely able to fathom what's going on much less explain to either of them what's going on.
3. Portgas
Got scammed. Met a cute girl on tinder, she turned out being a part of a criminal organization that preys on men on tinder. She was late for like an hour, arrived in a maybach, said hop in, we went to some restaurant that looked like a total sh*thole but everything on the menu had exorbitant prices.
She ordered a lot of stuff, and I ordered just a bit of wine. They served the drinks, and she started monologuing about some crap. She talked like a sociopath, dead eyes.
The server appeared, demanded I pay for the order (about 200$ worth of shit) before they served it, I smelled something wrong and asked for a separate check, she got angry and told me to get out.
I started paying for my wine, but almost got cashed for the whole meal but my debit card bounced cuz I only had like $50 on it. That was lucky. Texted a friend about this after this, she told me it was a known scam and that it was all over the news lately. So yeah, was a weird experience.
4. flurryskies
Guy seemed very nit picky and called out the few white hairs I had (I am 22 for reference). He was asking me if I have health issues indirectly and I told him that it's literally genetic and I can't do anything about those hairs. I have done blood tests, hormone tests etc and thankfully I am healthy.
He seemed like he had a checklist in mind of some 'ideal' person. Interesting how he suddenly became gentle after I jokingly called out his qs after the 'date' and later on just messaged that things won't be working out.
5. PriorTable8265
I had a first date that went well. She invited me out to go dancing at a club. In my Uber she said they were going to her place. Get there and it's her and two friends.. kind of awkward.
She tells her friends that they need to go and is practically undoing my pants before they can leave. We roll around in the sheets and I pass out. That next day I start to feel itchy and break out in hives from head to toe. Turns out I'm allergic to her cat which I never noticed.
6. k9shenanigans
Years ago I met a girl at a bar. We hit it off, exchanged numbers, and I called her a few days later. As a date she invited me to a party at her dad's house the next Saturday- said they were having a band and all kinds of good stuff.
I show up for this 'party' and it doesn't seem to be much going on except for a few cars. She answers the door and immediately I can tell she's trashed. She takes me down into the basement where the band is playing. The 'band' just her dad playing some sh*tty guitar. They had a few friends over and that was the whole party. 4 people.
My wonderful date kept disappearing and her dad kept talking about some guy that was coming to the party named Pee-Wee Johnson who wanted to meet me. Whatever.I was already planning my exit from this disaster when her dad runs upstairs to go get the door. He says Pee Wee is here...
Next thing, her dad comes downstairs TOTALLY NAKED - Pee Wee Johnson. 🙄
Her dad gets on stage (still naked) and starts singing again to the three people in the room. I decide I've really got to get the f*ck out of here.
About this time a 12 year old girl shows up out of nowhere. Her younger sister. I wound up talking to this kid, turns out she did martial arts. At this time I was a heavyweight martial arts champ. We compared notes and actually knew some same people. I had more in common with her than my stupid date.
I soon got up to leave and pointed towards my 'date' and said to her younger sister 'be smart dont wind up like this' and walked out.
7. KCCHAMPIONSFANMOM
Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date!
She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report.
8. Predditor_drone
TL;DR: 24 year old girl's parents do background checks, read correspondence, and do advanced recon for her dates....overreact when this approach backfires.
Met a girl online, everything seemed okay and the conversations were good so a few days later we decided to meet for coffee and go for dinner later.
I show up to the cafe about 45 minutes early and order a coffee, intending to read for a bit. While I'm reading I notice an older fellow staring and taking far too much interest in me before leaving. Odd, but okay. Continue to read until about 10 till meet up when I text the girl that I'm already at the cafe.
Shortly after, the odd older fellow comes back in one entrance, and this sets off my Spidey sense so I'm making my way to the other entrance when my date catches my arm to say hi. I tell her we should step out for a minute, getting a bad vibe from this guy, she asks which one, so I describe him.
It's her god damn dad, doing advanced recon for her dates at 24 years old. I was a bit sketched out at that, but thought maybe she had some bad dating history that possibly made sense. I meet her dad, he says they wanted to make sure I was who I said I was and to enjoy the date.
He leaves and she says being an only child has its downsides. Makes enough sense, we get coffee and chat for a bit, walk in a nearby park and decide where to go for dinner. We get to my car and she asks if I could take her home to grab a jacket before dinner, no big deal.
We arrive at her place (lives with parents) and I talk to her mom and dad while the date grabs a jacket. They seem nice, but overbearing parents. Date calls me back to her room to meet her cat, and the entire time I'm meeting her cat, the parents are hawking nearby obviously eavesdropping and it's obvious the date is dragging her feet for some reason.
I said something about getting out to dinner before the rush and her parents who 'happened' to be walking by ask where we were going before they start a dialog on local restaurants, which pivots to ordering delivery/carryout and how we should just do dinner together at their place.
I told them no offense, but I'd greatly prefer to dine in someplace relaxed and get to know their daughter. They seem really resistant to this, I'm agitated, and ask if this is how her dates normally go.
They said 'no, normally we don't let her go out with men, but you passed the background check and your messages to her made you seem nice like you'd have dinner with us'
I was flabbergasted, they ran a background check on me, read our exchanges online as well as the advanced recon, and expected me to have dinner with 2 additional people I hardly knew when I was expecting a date.
I told them that will absolutely not work for me, and that they are being extremely over the top with their expectations and precautions. I left.
Later received a torrent of text messages and calls to the general sentiment of you were supposed to be better than this. I don't respond for a day before telling her/them this is not normal or healthy, I refuse to be any part of it and will be blocking their number and filing restraining orders if I find them lurking around.
9. Krustyliciousness
First date after my divorce. She was nothing like her profile picture and just a horrible person. But that not the fun bit. She stalked me to my work van after the date and took down my phone number. On the way home she asked if I would come back and see her, said thanks but no thanks and have a nice life.
In the proceeding days I received numerous texts and phone calls from her and had to have her number blocked by my phone provider. On new years day at 4am I receive a call ...... from her ex husband asking what was wrong with her? That she is a good person etc. etc. Turns out they went out on NYE and got sh*t faced together and decided to all me.
I hung up only for then to keep calling me back. Ended up turning my phone off. Woke around 7. Turned my phone on and I had received 20+ voice recordings that were getting more and more threatening, on the last one I could hear them in a car saying they were coming over to get me.
Spoke to my neighbour who gets up early and had gone for a run and he told me there were a couple being arrested around the corner from our place drunk as hell who had hit a light pole. Scary thing is I had my 2 daughters with me that night.
10. ManateeSheriff
In college, I hit it off with a girl and agreed to go on a first date to a school hockey game. When I met her there, I realized I had forgotten my wallet, so I had to borrow $5 from her to pay for my ticket.
Not a great start, and I could tell I had dug myself an early hole. Then, once we sat down, we realized that neither of us liked hockey at all. I have no idea why we agreed to meet there, but we were both totally uninterested in the game.
So we started talking about other things we were into, and I mentioned that I liked board games. She said, 'You sound like my grandma.'
At that point it was clear that neither of us were into this at all, but it was the first period of a hockey game that she had paid 10 whole dollars for, and neither of us felt right leaving. We sat there and stonily watched the rest of the game.
Afterwards, we said, 'Let's hang out sometime,' and then never messaged each other again.Then, a few semesters later, my friend called me up all excited about a new girl he was dating. He wanted me to come to a get-together at his apartment and meet her.
I walk in, and of course he's sitting on the couch with his arm around the very same hockey-hating girl. I immediately grabbed my wallet, handed her $5, and said, 'Thank God! I've been looking for you for two years!' She laughed, and things went all right after that.
11. mayneffs
I went to a new years eve party with a guy I had been chatting with for months. When we get there his friends asks him where his girlfriend is, and they were not referring to me. I went out for a smoke at that point and he went after, saying she was boring and he was gonna break up with her. I didn't hang out with him for the rest of the night.
I guess I should thank him because I hooked up with the party host instead and we've been together for 7 years.
12. confusedthrwawayxx
Was on a first date. Went to the bathroom, asked the guy to watch my coat. Came back and my coat was gone. It had my cellphone, wallet and keys in it. Guy was too busy chatting up the bartender, hadn't even seen the guy take it.
We had to uber back to his house so he could get his truck and drive me home. Had to wake my roommates up to let me in, had no ID, cash or way of contacting anyone for days. Ended up tracking down the guy who stole it but only got back my phone, he threw out my wallet, keys (with fob on it) and coat.
Guy I was on the date with never contacted me again! Most expensive worst first date ever!