Best man's sock accident results in black eye at wedding, bride furious. UPDATED
'TIFU by doing my own makeup before my best friend's wedding'
This actually happened today. Approximately 30 minutes ago to be exact. I'm currently writing this in an Uber on my way to the airport and my face looks like this.
Allow me to explain how I got into this situation.
I was asked by my best friend a couple months ago to be the best man at his wedding. As he was my best friend and has been since college, I readily accepted. The only thing that's a bit difficult is that I live several states away from him.
No big deal, I was planning his bachelor party in Vegas anyway. Amazingly, the bachelor party went off without a hitch and I was looking forward to the wedding this Sunday (still am).
I ended up staying up way too late last night and into the early hours of this morning getting everything I needed to ready for this weekend (a task in which my ADHD did not help). Anyway, I basically stayed up until 6 am this morning getting everything ready and by the time I was done, I was exhausted.
I still had about 5 hours before I had to leave for the airport and figured it would be a good idea to take a power nap to recharge a bit so I could be good for tonight's festivities.
When I opened my eyes, I checked my phone and saw that I was already 20 minutes past the time I was supposed to leave for the airport! I bolted out of bed and started to get dressed as fast as I could.
I quickly threw on some shorts and a shirt and then started hopping on one foot trying to get my socks on. While my right sock slid on easily, my left sock was being a pain to do while I was hopping up and down.
Suddenly, for reasons unknown, I landed wrong and rolled my ankle. As I came crashing to the floor, I also managed to crack my eyebrow off the tiles. With no time to lose, I quickly finished getting dressed and grabbed my bags and tux and left.
Now, I'm riding in the back of an Uber with a light blue golf ball of swelling hanging off my eyebrow less than 36 hours from my best friend saying his vows. I am praying that the swelling goes down and I avoid looking like Rocky for his wedding. Wish me luck!
Edit: Evidently my eye wasn't bruised enough yet for the title to make sense. Don't worry everyone, I have my natural eye shadow now.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after this initial post:
Read the whole thing waiting for the makeup part. Wasn't until a bit after I finished I realized it was a joke about the shiner.
Get some ice on it, friend. It'll help.
The OP responded:
I wasn't able to get any ice on it until I got on the plane. This is how it looks now. Is there any way to get my eye looking normal be tomorrow night? I'm desperate.
The cabin crew on the plane should be able to provide ice or a cold pack. Or even a cold soda can. Put out advance notice to some of the ladies who will attend. One of them can bring her makeup bag and a small bit of concealer can help with this before the photos.
You can also stand on the right side of the group photos, turn your bad eye slightly to the back. Side face only. Sorry dude!
The OP responded again:
Thanks, hopefully I will be able to get all the swelling down. Do you think my eye is going to get any worse between now and then? I really want to avoid showing up with my eye swollen shut.
The bruising will probably get worse as the swelling goes down. But, try to get something cold on it intermittently.
'TIFUpdate by failing to put on socks and ruining a wedding'
This is an update to a previous TIFU I posted a few days ago. If you didn’t read the first one, I’ll do my best to summarize it.
I stayed up late getting my bags packed for a wedding I was the best man in this past weekend. I ended up going to bed in the early hours of the morning and accidently overslept to the point that I woke up on the alarm telling me it was time to leave for the airport.
As I was throwing on my clothes as fast as I could, I was hopping around trying to get a pair of socks on. After getting one on successfully, I came down awkwardly on my ankle on my last hop, crashing to my floor and smacking my eye off the tile.
Unfortunately, as I was in a rush, I had no opportunity to grab an ice pack or anything cold to try to avoid a black eye. By the time I got to the plane, I had a purple lump the size of a golf ball covering half my eye. By the time I got to the hotel several hours later, my eye looked like someone stuck a plum on top of it.
Despite getting a decent amount of ice on it during my travels and the night before, I still had a nasty-looking shiner the next morning. It was completely swollen shut and we had the rehearsal dinner that night.
After breaking the unsightly news to the bride and groom (the former p*ssed, the latter p*ssing himself laughing), we decided that even though there would still be a ton of swelling, makeup would be the best option to cover it for the rehearsal dinner and wedding the day after. They would just do what they could to hide my Quasimodo eye as much as possible.
This seemed like a decent solution and the bride even got the makeup artist doing her makeup to fix me up. By the time she was done, you could barely notice the bruising (though the swelling was a very different story). I was even lucky that my eye could open up a crack by the time the rehearsal dinner started.
Unfortunately, I noticed my eye pretty quickly swell back shut after the makeup was applied. It was around the same time that my eye started to itch like crazy underneath the makeup and while I tried to ignore it, I ended up needing to take the makeup off halfway through dinner and taking a Benadryl. I had discovered that I am allergic to makeup.
Now that I knew how badly I would react to makeup, I told my best friend, the groom, that there was no way I could wear makeup for the actual wedding, offering to wear sunglasses or an eye patch instead.
While I wasn’t there for the conversation, I was later told that the bride was really upset, but said in no uncertain terms that she “wasn’t going to have a f*cking pirate in her wedding.”
When I woke up on Sunday, the swelling had gone down a bit, but the bruising had gotten much darker. While makeup would have been ideal for then, there was no way I’d be able to deal with the allergic reaction I was going to have.
So, I showed up to the reception with a black tux and even blacker eye. Things seemed to go off without a hitch for the most part, though I saw the bride’s smile fade a bit when we made eye contact while she was walking down the aisle.
There was also some insistence that I turn the bruised side of my face away for most of the pictures, although the groom featured it prominently in our pictures with the other groomsmen.
I really didn’t think it ended up being that big of a deal until one of the bridesmaids pulled me aside and cursed me out for not doing more to hide it.
Evidently, the bride was really upset and had shed some tears in the bathroom after the pictures saying I had ruined them.
Now, several days later, I texted my best friend to see how the honeymoon is going and was told that things are good but his wife is pretty sad about how the wedding didn’t meet her expectations and my face was a big reason why. If it makes her feel any better, I am also unhappy that I look like I panda.
Here were the top rated results after this final update:
She could very easily have the images, even if it’s just a few of her favourite ones, photoshopped, to hide the black eye.
Sounds like a bridezilla to me. You had an accident and actually injured yourself, and even had an allergic reaction on top of it, and all the bride could do was cry about her pictures? How about some effing compassion and empathy, gratitude for still showing up despite being badly injured and relief that you weren't hurt worse than you were?
You did nothing wrong except accidentally oversleeping, but you couldn't have been able to foresee the consequences of that. You even suggested methods to cover up the eye, but she didn't like your ideas... that's on her then. You didn't ruin the wedding, the bride's salty attitude did.
It's so sad that your eye prevented the bride and groom from exchanging vows, from professing their love to one another in front of friends and family.
Oh, wait, it didn't do any of that? The wedding and reception still happened? Sounds like nothing was ruined at all. Perhaps the bride ought to get some perspective.
There is WAY too much pressure put on weddings for everything to be 100% perfect, if one guy with an accidental black eye can mean it 'didn't meet expectations'.
Professional photographer here.
This is so funny. So you're a very good looking guy, even with that shiner. I'm positive those photos can be 'photoshoped into submission', and the bride can have her 'perfect?' set of photos.
Good on you for being such a good sport and trying so hard to make everyone happy. I'm sure you're a great friend to the groom. All the best to you 😊