Bride excludes SIL from bachelorette photos after she shows up in white wearing tiara.

Brides come under fire for anything that could be considered 'bridezilla' behavior.

The backlash against legitimate bridezillas can become so extreme, brides start questioning themselves when they need to set basic boundaries and preferences, for fear of seeming 'too difficult.'

Luckily, the internet is full of people ready to give their take on what is bridezilla behavior, and what is just plain taking charge.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a bride-to-be asked if she was wrong for excluding her brother's girlfriend from bachelorette photos.

She wrote:

AITA for not including my SIL in photos during my bachelorette party because she wore white?

I'm getting married (yay!) and my brother 'John' asked me to include his girlfriend 'Sarah' as a bridesmaid as a way to get her involved with our family since he wants to propose soon. I wasn't happy (she's quite snobbish, almost in a comically villainous way. She once made fun of the fact that I get most of my groceries from the local big box super center and not somewhere with more 'high quality product').

But I love John and it mattered a lot to him, so I agreed. Onto the issue: on the final night of my bachelorette party, we decided to have one 'big' meal that was really pricey and fancy that we all saved up for. Sarah said she had to take an emergency work meeting and for us to go ahead first (the restaurant was walkable from our hotel). Guys, when Sarah showed up, I was FLOORED.

She came in a white sparkly sequin number with a tulle skirt and a tiara. When we were planning the trip, my MOH made it abundantly clear that everyone was supposed to wear pink so we could get a really cute photo together at the restaurant. I'm not even kidding, her outfit was so bridal-looking the waitress actually asked if we were having a joint bachelorette party.

I was so upset, that when it came time to take photos I absolutely refused to have Sarah in them. She said it wasn't her fault because she 'didn't get the memo', but I told her it was common sense to not wear a bridal-looking dress to a bachelorette party if you're not the bride!

Plus, she was in the group chat and even made comments about another girl's outfit when we were talking about what we wanted to wear, so I know she knew! All of my friends were on my side and they made sure she didn't end up in the photos. When we got home, she pitched a fit to my brother saying that we bullied her at my party and deliberately left her out.

She was also pissed because a lot of family and friends noticed she wasn't in the photos and I wasn't afraid to tell them exactly why. My brother's really upset though because she's been crying and whining about it nonstop since. Apparently, they're both so mad that they're going to skip Father's Day brunch, so the whole thing is blowing up even more.

I'm starting to feel bad because my mom told me that my brother and Sarah were fighting a lot now, so I'm not sure if I'm being the AH here. My brother called me a bridezilla, but I really feel like Sarah was trying to ruin my night.

People quickly jumped in with their assessments of the dynamic.

callmesillysally wrote:

It’s a common strategy some women use when they want to start isolating their significant other. She thought she’d ruin your party and John would take her side and argue with you resulting in him distancing himself. NTA. You didn’t do anything wrong. You should remove her from your bridal party and tell John that you won’t tolerate her disrespect and her tantrums.

NotSoSure8765 wrote:

NTA. This is a pretty cut-and-dry case of “f around and find out” to me. Actions have consequences, and she behaved not only inappropriately from a “social norms” pov but also from a simple “following instructions as part of a bridal party” pov. Is it possible that she wasn’t trying to ruin the dinner and made a mistake in outfit choice?

Sure, maybe she just has terrible judgment and social awkwardness. But even if that was the case, she’d not be entitled to be in the designated group photo where everyone’s wearing pink, and a normal person would be remorseful and embarrassed about that kind of mistake. Even if that was true, you’re also not responsible for her relationship with your brother.

More likely, your gut was correct and she was acting maliciously for any number of dumb reasons, making her TA. It’s not like you refused to let her partake in the fancy dinner or kicked her out of the wedding party, right? It’s a photo. So congrats on the wedding and you need to ignore this woman while she fizzles out. Hope your brother learns from this and stops taking it out on you.

HIOP-Sartre wrote:

So a snobbish girl with the moxie to lie about not knowing the agreed-upon rule has the gall to show up like a bride (w/ a tiara, mind you) to your bachelorette party, then proceeds to throw a fit to your brother while gaslighting everyone, thereby driving a wedge in the family which ultimately leads to an asinine idea of skipping father’s day brunch in a stupid protest.

Lol, if John ends up marrying her, you’re in for a lifetime of headache. Good luck. NTA.

dahmerpartyofone wrote:

NTA. But I’d remove her immediately from the bridal party. She sounds like someone who would “accidentally trip,” and spill something on a white dress. I wouldn’t put it past her to demand he proposes during your reception. Good luck with this one.

Clearly, OP is NTA, but Sarah sounds like a nightmare who could seriously ruin OP's relationship with her brother if they stay together.