Bride-to-be asks bridesmaid who is 'too tall' to wear flats, is that wrong?
When this bride to be is torn, she asks Reddit:
'WIBTA if I made my bridesmaid wear flats to my wedding?'
I (27F) am getting married next year. One of my best friends since childhood “Sophie” (27F) is a bridesmaid. Sophie is very tall for a girl, she is 179cm (between 5’10” and 5’11”).
I am 168cm tall, and the other 3 bridesmaids are all either my height or a shorter. Sophie has always been rather self conscious of her height growing up, because guys wouldn’t want to date her being so tall.
But she was also able to be a runway model due to her height, and as she’s gotten older she has come to accept it. She still rarely wears heels when we go out though, as she doesn’t need the height and doesn’t want to be towering over everyone.
At my last bridesmaid “meeting” we were discussing shoes, I said that I wanted all of us to wear heels (about 2 inch heels) except Sophie, who I wanted to wear flats.
I thought she would be fine with it because she doesn’t like being the tallest. Instead she said that her wearing flats will make her stand out more than if she was 10cm taller than us, and would make her look like she’s super self conscious of her height when she’s not anymore.
We are also wearing midi dresses so it will be obvious that she’s wearing flats. I understand that, but I also don’t want her being so much taller than us in photos etc.
The other bridesmaids are torn- they think it will look funny but they also agree that I get final say on what we wear.
Ultimately Sophie said that she would wear flats if it’s that important to me but I know she’s not happy with it. So WIBTA if I made her wear flats when she’d rather wear heels with everyone else?
It's not so much about the photos, but just the whole night. Like the ceremony and stuff too. I don’t mind that I’m not the tallest, I prefer it actually. Also, my fiancé is about 6’1” and so is the groomsman she would be paired with.
Let's do it.
mainegg321 writes:
Soft YTA. Maybe you could compromise by having her wear flats for the ceremony and professional pics, but then if she wants to wear heels at the reception.
Overall though, I wouldn’t force her to do anything that’s going to make her feel self conscious or upset. I get it’s your day, but if she’s investing time, energy and money into being in your bridal party at the very least she deserves to feel good about herself that day and not self conscious.
FISH5051 disagrees:
NTA. Unpopular option here from a tall gal. I'm 6'3. My friends have asked me the same thing for their weddings and I have done it.
Honestly I'd rather wear flats for 8 hours than heels anyway. And it sounds like she would prefer flats usually anyway. You are not making some outlandish request of her to wear say 6 inch heels and totally exploit her height.
Edit: if your friend wants to hold a grudge other this for 20 years over this like someone posted, they aren't much of a friend.