Dad and 'moral' gf demand daughter's wedding is 100% vegan; she un-invites them.

Anyone who has planned a wedding knows that accommodating all those guests is no easy feat. But what if the most demanding person is the one who promised to pay for the event?

u/gooseheadgoose has had a deal with her dad for years that he'd pay for her wedding, but dad's new vegan girlfriend has a 'moral obligation' to make sure the wedding is 100% vegan. Dad took his girlfriend's side so OP went to Reddit to ask:

'AITA (am I the a-hole) for uninviting my dad to my wedding because he refuses to pay anything towards it unless it is vegan?'

I am 30. Since I was a child he has always said he would pay for my wedding.

About 5 years ago he started a relationship with lady with quite extreme views. She is a vegan, which is fine but she is very judgemental to how I live. She doesn’t agree with cancer scans (like smear tests, mammograms etc) because vegans “don’t get cancer.'

When I had my daughter she said I should be feeding her almond milk. She once came to my house for dinner and I cooked a chicken for me and my family and a nut roast for my father and her.

She later dug a hole in my garden to give the chicken bones a proper funeral because she was so “heartbroken to see us eating it’s blood and flesh”. I wish I was joking.

She has also accused me of trying to steal her fathers house. I have never met her father, I have never set foot in her fathers house. All I know is he died recently. I had communicated some cost of living worries to my dad (not asking for money) and she ran with it and said I was trying to manipulate her into giving me her inheritance. I do not want her inheritance.

Long story short, my father will only pay for my wedding if it’s vegan. This not only includes food, but shoes, alcohol, what other people wear (E.g. leather) and anything else you can think of. I might have been ok with vegan food, but I’m not ok with policing what others wear or food they may bring for their babies (even formula) etc.

This has upset me. It’s not really about the money, we are having a very small and cheap do anyway. In the run up to the wedding this woman has also been extremely rude to my mother. On reflection I have now decided it’s best all round that they do not attend.

She’s now telling my dad’s side of the family that it’s just about the money and that I am bitter because I didn’t get her dad’s house (Why on Earth would I be given her dads house?!) and that my dad isn’t paying for my wedding, but to be honest it’s not really about the money.

I don’t want to be controlled over what I can and can’t do on my wedding day. I’m sick of her judgement (and his, now she’s gotten her claws into him) and I just think it will be better for me, my siblings and my mother if they do not come.

I also don’t want to be lectured over milk, dairy, honey, palm oil you name it, on my wedding day and I don’t want to put my guests through it either. AITA (am I the a-hole)?

So who is in the wrong here? Let's see if Reddit users are on OP's side or told her not to be a 'pill'.

northstarette says:

NTA (not the a-hole). I think you’re right that it will be better if they don’t come since they can’t keep themselves from trying to control everything and everyone around them. It’s insufferable and you don’t need that headache on your wedding day.

Archpharaoh writes:

NTA. I’d tell him he’s become someone else because a sad, crazy woman has subjected him to a series of very stupid lies. If he wants to fix the problem, he’s welcome to do so. The woman he’s with is poison.

Keep them away. (I recognize how painful this must be.) Being vegan is like a lot of things. It needs to be something that people opt into, not be forced into.

Idontlikesoup1 has a plan:

NTA. Just invite your dad without a plus one. Mention that a vegan option will be available just to show you're taking the fist step. Of course he will refuse to come alone and then, you just say how sorry your are he can't make it. Checkmate in one move. Problem solved.

realstareyes says the 'chicken' isn't only grave Dad's gf has dug:

NTA (not the a-hole). He broke a promise, tries to make everything about him and his new partner causes tension, which is definitely not what a wedding is for. It‘s your wedding and your decision. They dug their own grave and basically uninvited themselves.

OP, you're safe. Seems like Reddit users said she's NTA (not the a-hole).

Veganism can be the right choice for some, and they may feel strongly that everyone 'should' make the same choice. But does it serve one to try to 'shame' other people into making that choice? According to Reddit, Dad's girlfriend went too far.