Woman holds designer purse hostage; won't let SIL use it for wedding. AITA?
When this woman upsets her "bridezilla" SIL by gatekeeping her designer purse, she asks Reddit
"AITA for refusing to lend my designer purse to my sister-in-law for her wedding?"
I (24F) have a Chanel purse that was a gift from my parents when I graduated college. It's by far the most expensive thing I own.
My brother recently got married, and his new wife Amy asked if she could borrow my Chanel purse for their wedding day photos and reception. Amy doesn't own any designer bags and really wanted one to complete her wedding look.
I politely declined to lend her my purse. That purse is extremely valuable to me, and the thought of something happening to it makes me anxious. Amy called me selfish and materialistic for not lending it to her for the wedding. She said I was more concerned about a status symbol than helping family.
My parents and brother also got upset with me, saying I should be willing to share my things with family. But I don't think I should have to hand over my most prized possession just because it's for a wedding. Now the whole family is angry with me.
Just to clarify, it's not about being unwilling to help but more about protecting a sentimental and valuable gift. I offered other bags of mine she could borrow. Just not this one due to its sentimental value.
AITA for not lending my sister-in-law my expensive designer purse for her wedding? She's acting like I ruined her big day over this, but I think it was an unreasonable request.
Let's see what readers thought.
antiquead7 writes:
NTA, I find it funny that she called you materialistic for not lending her the purse. Yet she needed the purse to complete her outfit. And the only reason she wanted your purse was because it was expensive and designer. So in other words, she's mad that you wouldn't let her be materialistic with your items.
No family does not always lend everything. Walking to the house next week and borrow the TV, borrow their car for a week. She wanted the purse because it was the nicest thing. She knew that was close to her and she was going to assume that just because their family you would say yes.
It's your stuff you choose who you lended to or not wanted to. And everyone is wrong. And if your parents are so upset, tell them to buy her one.
shattereddone6 writes:
"Amy called me selfish and materialistic" "Amy doesn't own any designer bags and really wanted one to complete her wedding look."
You are allegedly 'selfish and materialistic' because you have a Chanel bag and appreciate the value of it, both sentimentally and financially, and don't wish to risk it being damaged or lost.
Amy, who does not have any valuable handbags, wants to use yours to "complete her wedding look" -- apparently to appear more posh or wealthy than she is -- and she is calling YOU selfish and materialistic!
What was her plan if something untoward were to happen to your Chanel bag? Probably something along the line of "Oops, sorry -- but it's just a purse!"
Why do so many brides accuse others of ruining their big day when those people decline to bow to the brides wishes or outlandish demands.
A wedding should be about the union of two people in love, not borrowing other people's valuable and cherished belongings or a bridesmaid being told to dye her hair brunette because the bride wants to be the only blond! The aesthetics brigade is really getting out of hand.
NTA, this is your prized possession and your decision. And as is frequently mentioned on reddit, 'no is a complete sentence". You were under no obligation to provide for Amy's lack of elegant accessories.
If your brother and your parents honestly believed that was so important for her to have a Chanel bag on her big day, they could have purchased a Chanel bag for her. Instead, they cheaped out and blamed you. Big A H move on all their parts.
clothesquesay634 writes:
NTA. I thought that most people don't care about their purses on their wedding day. In addition, I have never seen wedding photos that show the bride's purse; she's holding her bouquet.
That said, if I think about weddings and wedding receptions, I can see something getting spilled on the purse - soda, wine, etc., that could render it unusable, or it getting lost.
Added to that, your parents gave it to you when you graduated, so it has value beyond it being a Chanel bag. Plus, if lack of a designer purse can ruin a bride's wedding, there are some other issue.