Woman finds out SIL is holding grudge over dress she wore to her wedding as a 9yo.
Hell hath no fury like a family member holding a grudge they refuse to bring up to you. There are few feelings worse than sensing a vague tension and having no idea where it's coming from or how to resolve. It's even worse when you finally find out the root, and it's seemingly absurd.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for telling her sister-in-law that her grudge is stupid. She wrote:
'AITA for telling my SIL that the grudge she's holding against me over wedding photos is stupid?'
I (F20) have an older brother (M34) 'Tim.' Tim has a wife, 'Vicky' (F33). For a while now, I've noticed Vicky has been acting weird around me. She avoids interacting with me, avoids eye contact, and doesn't make conversation, and generally seems annoyed with my presence. I wasn't really sure what her problem was.
It was starting to get to me so I gently as possible asked Tim about it. He confirmed Vicky was angry at me over something. He explained that a while ago, my mother posted some old photos from his and Vicky's wedding on Facebook (I don't have Facebook so I didn't know) and that she used a filter or photo editor that made my dress look white, when it was actually pastel blue.
Later, Tim, Vicky, and me were alone and Tim brought this issue up and said it needs to be talked about. Vicky started to become visibly upset and she pretty much repeated what Tim told me, and said that the edited photos were disrespectful, and that really I shouldn't have worn a color that was so close to white anyway.
I reminded Vicky that I was 9 years old when they got married, and don't even really remember much from it. She said I must've had some choice in what to wear. I told her I don't know because I don't remember, and that if it bothers her so much she should take it up with my mom, and I told her that this grudge she's holding against me is stupid.
Vicky looked mortified and said that I didn't have to be so calloused, and that I had no reason to be rude to her and dismiss her concerns. Tim is now also mad because I 'disrespected' his wife. I just didn't understand what other response she could be expecting, especially when I have a complicated relationship with my parents. Was I wrong?
Redditors were quick to share their opinions.
Cursd818 wrote:
NTA. She's mad at you...for wearing a blue dress to a wedding as a nine-year-old? As if you realistically had a lot of say over your clothes at that age? And because your mother reposted the picture with a filter, years later? This is the same level of BS as when people get mad about things that happened in their dreams. You've done nothing wrong and everyone knows it.
She's embarrassed at her own ridiculousness and lashing out at you for embarrassing her instead of realizing she embarrassed herself. Tell your brother that until she apologizes for her ludicrous behaviour, they can both keep their unstable @$$es away from you.
C_Majuscula wrote:
NTA. I don't know WTF the problem is here. This is bonkers
You were 9. I doubt you had much of a choice and probably didn't even know about 'no white to a wedding' rule at that age.
You did not apply the filter, your mother did.
Even if you wore white, who cares? Lots of little girls rewear a communion dress or white Easter dress to a wedding. It was 11 damn years ago.
SpicyArms wrote:
Holy hell your brother and SIL are bonkers. NTA but they are. It sounds like their hobby is to find ways to be offended.
KronkLaSworda wrote:
So you wore a blue dress, someone else doctored the photo and made the dress look whiter than actuality, and now you're Cruella Deville in a white dress at a wedding.
NTA and her grudge is stupid.
Edit: Jesus. I thought it happened 9 years ago. It was 11 f@#king years ago when the poster was 9! How unhinged can you get?
AlannaAdvice wrote:
NTA, your SIL IS being very stupid, not to mention illogical. You should send them this link so they can see how many people also think they’re being ridiculous.
Clearly, there's no universe where OP is TA, she is dealing with some seriously unhinged family.