10 brides who had 'horrible bridesmaids' share their side of the story.

We've all heard of the classic bridezillas, but what about bridesmaidzillas?

Being a bridesmaid can be an expensive and stressful journey of spreadsheets, group chats, and color-coded itineraries. Sometimes, though, the besties can beautifully drop the rose gold disco ball. So, when a Reddit user asked, 'Brides who had horrible bridesmaids, what happened?' salty brides everywhere were ready to vent.

1.

I only had a maid of honor. She was concerned about her ex hanging out with his current gf all day. Changed into her PJs during the reception. Didn’t want to help set up. She’s my best friend and was going through a lot but it really sucked anyway. - pregnant-and-cold

2.

She wore a white dress to the wedding - [deleted]

3.

I had known my one friend, I'll call her K, since I was fifteen years old. Our friend group was large and pretty close knit, but it centered around a group of guys who had been friends with each other since kindergarten.

K and I were dating two of these guys. We had a lot in common and formed a strong bond over the course of years. Whenever we talked about the future, the way young girls do, we would swear that we would be in each other's weddings.

This friend group was... not good. Lots of hard drugs. Lots of criminal activity. Shortly after I turned 19 I decided enough was enough and left the group - broke up with my boyfriend and didn't associate with most of them again, except for those awkward chance meetings in Walmart that are the curse of small towns.

I moved on. Got my GED, found a good job, bought a car, entered into a serious relationship and eventually moved in with my boyfriend. K ended up breaking up with her boyfriend a year or so later and started dating one of my new boyfriend's friends.

I kind of set them up, in the, 'Hey you guys are obviously crushing on each other so just kiss already,' sort of way. The four of us hung out a lot, but that mainly entailed going out to the bar four nights a week and getting sh^&faced.

More time passed. Then-boyfriend and I had a child. Our days of bar hopping on Tuesdays came to a halt. K and her boyfriend were in a completely different stage of their lives, so they continued that lifestyle. We grew apart. Not a big deal, these things happen.

We just couldn't relate to each other any more since our priorities were so completely different. We'd reconnect occasionally - basically whenever I could find the time, money, and energy to hire a babysitter and spend a night out at the bar.

Years went by. Then-boyfriend and I split up. K and her boyfriend eventually moved into his parents' house. There was talk of a wedding in the future. I was excited for her. She called me and asked if I wanted to be her maid of honor. Yes, I said. Sure. Of course.

More years went by. K and her boyfriend were still living with his parents, no engagement ring or wedding date in sight. She starts calling me up, asking me to say I had been with her on a particular night if anyone happened to ask. I really didn't want to get involved, so I said no.

More time. We're now virtually strangers. I have more children and she's still sitting down at the local bar four nights a week. One day she calls me out of the blue and says she left her boyfriend and is now living with her soulmate, a married man with two kids, and she wants some advice on how to 'deal with this kid sh&^.'

At the time I was dating my now-husband. The two of us decide to make an effort and go to see K and meet her new soulmate and his kids. It was super awkward.

Spent hours listening to them rambling on about their cosmic connection and how they'd spent past lives together. Now, that's the sort of thing I believed in when I was a teenager, but I grew out of it. She's more than entitled to feel those things, but again, I can't really relate any more.

Now-husband and I got engaged. My maid of honour was going to be one of my two best friends at the time. But I had made a promise all those years ago, so I asked K if she still wanted to be a bridesmaid, making it perfectly clear that she could say no and there'd be no hard feelings. She enthusiastically accepted. Great.

We were really laid back about our wedding. I told my bridesmaids (my maid of honour, my 'matron of honor' who was my other, married best friend, and K) that they could wear whatever they wanted, as long as they felt fabulous.

We wanted a Star Wars themed wedding, but I made it clear that they didn't need to wear anything Star Wars related if they didn't want to. Everyone seemed happy.

A few months before the wedding, my maid of honor drank herself to death after a fight with her boyfriend. I was devastated. I could barely function and wedding planning came to a screeching halt, until about two weeks before the wedding when I suddenly got the motivation to work like a madwoman until everything was completed. No word from K during any of this.

My matron of honour lived overseas and was flying in a couple days before the wedding. I tentatively reached out to K and asked if she wanted to take part in any of the planning or decorating or whatnot. I was met with a lot of grand promises followed by flimsy excuses. Whatever. I had more important things to worry about.

The Thursday before our Saturday wedding my now-husband and I went out for a combined stag night/hen do. He's from overseas as well and his family and best friends flew over for the event. We all went out together and had a great time. I invited K multiple times.

She couldn't make it. The day before the wedding, K didn't have a dress picked out. She texted me asking if she could dress up as an Ewok. Sure, I said. Whatever floats your boat. Super excited.

The morning of the wedding, K said she can't make it because she had a cold. Okay, I said. No worries, I hope you feel better soon. I wasn't really upset. We'd grown apart long ago. I did, however, sort of figure that was the end of our relationship. Husband and I made the decision to move to his home country, we spent the next couple years making that dream a reality.

A couple months after we moved I got a Facebook message from her saying that she had no idea I moved (despite my announcing it on Facebook ages ago and posting pictures and updates of the move) and that she's very sad because she feels like I don't like her any more.

I had no idea what to say, so I didn't respond. A couple days later her boyfriend sent me a friend request. The whole things just baffles me a little. - colddustgirl

4.

My bridesmaids dropped the ball with planning a bachelorette party (they said they were planning one but who knows what happened, ended up deciding what to do the day of), and we ended up meeting at a pool hall (none of us play pool) and awkwardly played for a couple hours. It was pretty fun, we're all friends so it wasn't bad, and we had some delicious apps.

After about 2 hours or so they started wrapping it up. I thought we were going to go somewhere else after that or keep hanging out, but apparently that was the end of the night. The waitress came over and asked about checks, and they told her to split them evenly...including me. I paid for myself.

Which isn't terrible, but definitely isn't tradition, and I have been the MoH in 2 of these friends' weddings, a bridesmaid in a 3rd, and in all 3 we planned awesome parties and covered everything.

It just felt like no one cared. I put so much into my friends' weddings and they all talk about how much they love when I do things for them like buy gifts or plan things because everything is so thoughtful and neat, and when it came to me getting married they decided an hour ahead of time to meet up at a pool hall, play for a few hours, make the bride pay for herself, and then go home.

No games, no night out, anything. It just kind of made me feel like crap. I know it's a petty thing to feel like crap about, but with the amount of history in that group, it was a huge letdown. Bleh. Oh well. - Eshlau

5.

Not me, but my best friend's bridesmaids were supposed to pick her up when she returned from visiting family the day before the wedding, to go out and celebrate at some bars, then to head to a hotel while us groomsmen and groom hung out at their apartment.

After being 30 minutes late, they called and asked her to pick them up from a bar. They had all gotten drunk without her. Then at the hotel, all of the bridesmaids passed out and slept in the beds, while had to sleep on a trashy, uncomfortable couch.

The next day at the wedding, they didn't help set anything up. All the groomsmen were demanded by the mom of 2 of the bridesmaids to clean up the entire wedding ourselves while they all got drunk. - 3GoalCushion

6.

I lost my dearest friend by asking her to be my MOH. Let’s call her Kelly. Kelly and I were friendly in high school but didn’t become “best friends” until we were both 22. She and I both had hardships being away from home for college education, and we bonded over persevering through our past struggles. I should share that Kelly suffers from depression and anxiety.

I do not know her official diagnosis, but any time we talked about it she always led me to believe it was an intense version of seasonal depression. Kelly and I rekindled our friendship right as my husband and I began dating, so she and him became good friends as well. She was there the night we got engaged, and I asked her almost immediately after to be my MOH. Now, everyone tells me this was my first mistake.

In the time that elapsed between our engagement and my bridal shower (March ’17-May ’18), I heard from everyone else who was involved in the wedding planning (my mom, M-I-L, both S-I-L, and my other 2 bridesmaids) that communication and planning with Kelly was difficult. To those who weren’t also friends with Kelly, I reminded them that she was my choice and best friend and they needed to be patient with her.

I did not realize what the problems were like until I had to plan my own bachelorette party. Kelly was a dear friend, but I had put too much on her by asking her to be MOH. Neither of us realized the enormity of the role as I was the first of my friends to go through this process.

It was the weekend of mine and my husband’s joint bachelor/bachelorette party that the proverbial shit hit the fan. The weekend before said party, Kelly had her heart shattered by the first man she had real feelings for. Kelly explained all of this to our mutual friend Jessie, who was also a bridesmaid and has been my closest friend since we met at age 14.

During Kelly and Jessie’s 3-hour drive to my bachelorette, Kelly told all about how hurt she was, how she was working through it in therapy, and how her therapist (probably wrong title) had her on a new anti-anxiety medication that she absolutely could not drink on. As they got to our rental, Kelly promised she wouldn’t be drinking and swore Jessie to keep their conversation a secret. Had I known about the medication, we would probably still be friends…suffice it to say, she did not keep her promise.

She was warned that combining alcohol with the medication would alter her mental status and alter how she perceived events happening around her. The Saturday night of the bachelorette, she witnessed my husband and I have a small spat. He did something stupid, but I wasn’t going to let anything ruin the fun, and we moved on from the issue almost immediately.

The weekend ends, and I’m under the impression we’ve all had a great time. We all head off to our respective homes, texting photos back and forth and again, I do not think anything is amiss. Kelly texts me privately about how she’s going to take care of herself and what a fun weekend she had.

The next morning, I get a call from my mother that she has heard from Kelly and is very worried about me. Through lots of back and forth, I gather that Kelly called my mom because she believes she witnessed emotional abuse. Even typing that out now 8 months later just feels so odd. My husband and I had a small disagreement that was easily rectified, where was this abuse she claimed to witness?

There were 14 other people staying in that house, and none of us knew what she was talking about. As my mom and I talked, she explained that it was only Kelly’s hysteria that made her believe something was wrong. She even told her, “Kelly, that’s wonderful of you to reach out to me, but this is a conversation you need to have with shameonme2, not me.”

As Kelly and I texted back and forth, she repeatedly disregarded how her actions effected me. When I told her what she had done hurt me, she flat out said, “No I didn’t.” It ended with me asking her for some space as I was just so overwhelmed by the whole situation.

I should add that in addition to being my MOH, Kelly had agreed to make our cake. We wanted to have a cheese tower as neither of us are big on cake, and she was a professional cheese monger, so it just made sense. Mistake number three, MOH and bridesmaids have enough responsibility, it’s not worth the added stress at the cost of saving a buck. So, one week later I was ready to talk and asked her to let me know when and how would be best so we could move forward from this. She proceeds to tell me she is not ready to talk, didn’t know if she’d ever be ready, and must “relinquish all MOH duties.”

I was completely shocked, heartbroken, and panicked, one for losing a friend and two because we were 53 days away from the wedding and I now had another loose end to tie up. I am very lucky to have other incredibly wonderful friends who were able to step up and literally save the day.

I asked my oldest friend Eileen to become a bridesmaid and she accepted, and asked Jessie if she would be willing to step into the role of MOH. And honestly, I am so grateful that this clusterf*&k got is to where it did. Jessie was the rock I needed on our special day, and her speech had me in tears in the best possible way.

Our photographer managed to capture the moment of tears brimming as I’m looking at her, and it is truly my favorite photo from the day. We got the cheese from Whole Foods, my mom decorated it with flowers from the ceremony, and the day was absolutely perfect.

I wanted to share my story so that on the off chance another bride goes through something similar, she knows she is not alone. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, our struggles make us stronger, and to quote the article that most helped me through this emotional rollercoaster, “Life is too short for fake cheese and fake friends.” - shameonme2

7.

8.

My bachelorette party was shitty. On paper it sounded great. Nice hotel in New England for a night. They had a pool and spa, silly rom-coms in our room, nice dinner. I'm not a party person at all, so this sounded perfect to me. I get picked up and there's an extra person who isn't a bridesmaid, but the best friend of my MOH. She helped plan it, so she got invited.

She was the only one there not in the wedding, or even invited. We're not close. I thought there was a plan for the evening, a massage or something booked. Nope. There was a spa there, but we didn't use it. Or the pool. Dinner was nice. First rom-com had a character who was dealing with a relative with Alzheimers. Which my nana was dying of at the time.

So I said f*&k this and went to sleep sadly after one movie. We had to get up early the next morning because non-bridesmaid had plans elsewhere and we only had one car. So breakfast was rushed at a diner and we drove straight home. At least I didn't have to pay for it. - anotherrachel

9.

bridesmaid/sister got a dress and said it fit perfectly fine. Day of the wedding, she shows up late for us to get ready (hairdresser was doing my hair, the flower girl's and her's) in a dress who's straps were too long, and a small burn front and center.

I guess she decided it was a good idea to smoke in the car on the way over and ash flew back in. Her dress could have been altered for free, she just never tried it on beforehand and we ended up having to run to my neighbor's to get safety pins.

She also came over to me at the reception and just says 'dad and ___ broke up like 2 months ago. She just told me, she's worried he's depressed or suicidal' and walks away. WTF? I mean, I am glad the ex came forward to tell her.... but it was just the way she came over, told me, and ran off. - Marysthrow

10.

Not me but my best friend before we were best friends had a horrible maid of honor who was cheating on her own husband with the photographer. The night before the wedding, one of her bridesmaids had a delayed flight so didn't get in until the morning, the other stayed in her husband's hotel room, and her MOH stayed with the photographer (And left the reception early with him too).

So she spent the night before the wedding completely alone because the two people that were there couldn't stay away from their lovers for one night. I wish i had been close with her back then so she wouldn't have to go through that. - ForElise47