21 married people share the unspoken rules that rude guests broke at their wedding.

While the codes of wedding etiquette might seem obvious to some people, it's shocking how many guests still seem confused by the fact that they shouldn't use someone else's wedding as the setting for their proposal...

Yes, you need to RSVP even if you're telling the bride to her face that you'll be attending. No, you can't suddenly decide to perform a musical number mid-recpetion. No, you can't bring the person you started dating yesterday as your surprise plus-one.

So, when a curious married person decided to ask the gloriously petty and judgmental crew of 'Wedding Shaming,' 'What are some unspoken rules you had to say to a guest at your wedding?' people everywhere were ready to vent. Don't wear white, Aunt Lisa.

1.

For the love of all things good and holy don’t bring up the sexual past of the people getting married in your wedding speech…

Will never forget the 10 minute long “he was such a man-wh%re” speech from my cousins wedding (my cousin was the bride) from the best man. Then my uncle spent like an hour ripping the best man a new a%hole. - grumpymuppett

2.

When we put our phone number, our email address and our postal address on the invite along with a deadline for RSVPs, what we meant was please RSVP to us before that date, not just chat to my mum about it and think that means you've RSVP-ed. - Unable_Researcher_26

3.

IF the couple has opted to include the 'is there just cause for this couple not to be married' 'speak now or forever hold your peace' wording in their ceremony...

Do NOT be the heinous as$tart who jokingly clears their throat, coughs, or start to stand up enough that everyone sees it, then sits back down with a big grin. Seriously. NOBODY thinks it's funny except for YOU!! - fancygirl2572

4.

If your children are crying/yelling, quietly exit the ceremony. - SophisticatedNanna

5.

No, we will not turn this into an impromptu celebration for your birthday/achievement/family suddenly growing/ engagement. At my wedding someone kept suggesting we make the reception about a wedding crasher’s birthday.

At my twin’s wedding her new SIL thought the reception would be a great place to reveal her pregnancy.

At my youngest sister’s wedding her MIL wanted to end the official reception early so they could celebrate her other son’s spontaneous engagement and his graduation from a technical college while using the reception venue and its amenities.

That one was actually almost funny because his would be fiancée had declined his proposal rather loudly and vulgarly.

He’d confessed to the wedding party earlier in the day he’d dropped out of tech school but hasn’t told his parents yet because he was scared of his mom, I don’t blame him I’m sure there are whole cities scared of his mother.

She was in the bathroom during the proposal so she didn’t know he’d been refused. She just knew he was going to propose against the bride and groom’s wishes because she’d told him it was the right time to do so and even bought the ring for him. It looked like hers. - GothPenguin

6.

Don't bring someone if you didnt have a plus one. Its super rude and puts the wedding party in a bad position. - wateringallthetrees

7.

Don't switch out your invite and bring someone you want. Even if it 'evens out' the headcount, someone might not be invited for a reason.

Someone's sister couldn't join (even though she RSVP'ed yes) to my wedding, and the brother and their circle of friends brought a guy I wasn't happy to see. In that similar group:

-another guy brought his girlfriend since his mother wasn't coming

-the grandmother (whom I admittedly didn't invite because we limited grandparents and children) slapped me in the face a month after the wedding for not inviting her - post script to that: this was years ago, and I've pretty much completely ghosted that circle of people - appleavocado

8.

Leave the bride and groom alone during dinner. I didn’t get to eat because my husband’s semi-estranged mother pulled her chair up to our sweetheart table, took her teeth out and put them on the table, and proceeded to gum pasta two feet from my face. - TheRosyGhost

9.

Don’t step in front of the photographer so that you can take a picture with your cell phone. We had to say it until my aunt started crying. - Diojones

10.

Don’t wear jeans to a ballroom. The one distant cousin from hubby’s side sprinkled in the photos will forever irritate me. - Black_Coffee88

11.

DO NOT GIVE A SPEECH UNLESS ASKED. And I mean asked by one of the people IN the wedding, not just another guest. - DasBarenJager

12.

Don’t complain about the wedding TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM - hungrytatertot

13.

This happened before my wedding - but I had to tell MOG (my MIL) that the venue will not specifically buy black cherry cider or a certain brand of scotch for two of her guests. It’s one meal, they’ll survive.

Also some things I wish I had said (but was too busy being the bride) at the wedding:

please don’t harass or hound guests to sign the guestbook, if they want to, they will - don’t disrupt their dinner and conversation.

don’t go running and screaming from the bride (me) because they didn’t want see me before the ceremony (sorry for existing in this private banquet room that you stepped into uninvited)

Don’t sit in the bride and groom's seat during dinner. We want to eat our food. I’m tired and hungry. - Kayt1784

14.

Personally experienced: MOH speeches need to be shorter and not about inside jokes or if the bride used to sleep around And best man speeches need to be less embarrassing it is not your moment to shine and say...

“hey remember when you told (insert wife’s name) you were sleeping and we were out doing drugs and partying all night and you slept with that hooker” do not do that - Most-Pilot5086

15.

If you're an adult who is independent, has a job, and can legally drink, and you got your own invite separate from your parents' invite... You need to RSVP. Mommy isn't doing it for you anymore.

(Or at least, ask mommy to do it for you if you must. Don't make the bride/groom track you down cause you don't know how to work an RSVP) - BabyCowGT

16.

Don't text the bride on the day of the wedding about stupid little details that have been answered on the wedding website. - camilleswaterbottle

17.

I'm forever grateful I got married before social media. When my friend's son got married some people in attendance were pissed that they asked NO ONE posts to social media until the Bride & Groom shared the 1st photos.

Like who gets made about a perfectly reasonable request? I know all kinds of people, but really the audacity of too many out there. - Use_this_1

18.

Had to tell the sisters of the groom to shut tf up during the speeches, they were still trying to have their own little chit chat. I’d expect it from young children, not adults who should know better. - Norsa321

19.

When the bride tosses the bouquet, don't knock another woman down trying to catch the bouquet. This happened to me. - pinkflower200

20.

Be prepared if you are in the wedding party. Check and double check that you have everything you need. My sister, who was my maid of honor, forgot to buy shoes and thought she would borrow some from me.

She forgot to tell me until the morning of my wedding, when we were at the hotel getting ready. She ended up wearing my mothers black loafers. I also had to do her hair and make up because she is clueless. - socialhater

21.

Don’t steal the centerpieces! They aren’t free, they either belong to the bride and groom or they were rented. It’s shocking how many people do this. If the bride and groom want to give them away, they will tell you that. Otherwise the cost is on them! - EconomyVoice7358