Bride pranks party with 'ridiculous' demands; infuriates cousin. UPDATED!
If you're a regular Reddit lurker, you know that 'pranks' often mean 'mean spirited attacks' disguised as humor.
After all, pranks are supposed to be funny! But what if you don't think a prank was funny, but everyone else happens to disagree? Who's right? Someone is either a jerk or can't take a joke. You decide who is whom...
UPDATE FROM OP AT THE END!
AITA (Am I the a-hole) for dropping out of my cousin’s wedding party after a prank?
inmyprincessera writes:
My (F26) cousin (F29) got engaged a few months ago and asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was so excited to accept! Her sister (F32) is the MOH and there are 3 other bridesmaids. The date is set for April 2024.
On April 1st of this year, she sent a PDF to the bridesmaid group chat that really made me angry. It was a list of wedding party responsibilities, rules, and regulations. It included a picture of the bridesmaid dresses that we’d be wearing. They were hideous!
And she told us that we’d have to pay $800 for them and that they only went up to a size 8 so anyone bigger than that would need to lose weight before the wedding. That made me so angry because I wear a size 10 but also she’s like a size 12 so even fatter than me!
Other ridiculous things she added: None of us were allowed to be tanner than her for the wedding so she told us that none of us could spend significant time in the sun for the next year.
Oh, but they get better...
She wanted to have longer hair than all of her BMs so she said that we’d all have to cut our hair to our shoulders or shorter.
She wanted to do a choreographed dance with all of us and insisted that we go to 3-hour dance classes with her every Sunday until the wedding, a year away.
She said that she wanted her bachelorette party to be in Paris and that we would all need to chip in $3k.
What in the generational wealth?!
There was more but I was so angry I stopped reading and muted the group chat for a few hours. I was so livid and hurt that I decided to drop out of the wedding party, but I didn’t say anything right away.
The next day I checked the group chat again and everyone else had been chatting about how funny the bride’s “prank” was. Apparently at the bottom of the PDF it said “April Fools” but I hadn’t read that far because I was so mad.
Everyone else thought it was hilarious but it still really rubbed me the wrong way. I reached out to the bride to tell her how much this hurt my feelings and she did apologize.
But even though it’s been almost two months I’m still really angry. I decided this week that I no longer want to be a bridesmaid because of the mean-spirited prank and told my cousin.
Now she’s really hurt and angry, and the MOH, other BMs, and some of my family members are blowing up my phone saying that I’m overreacting to an “innocent prank.” But I believe that pranks are only funny if the recipient finds them funny, and I definitely didn’t. So AITA (Am I the a-hole)?
What do you think? Was this prank mean-spirited, or is OP reacting to the message as if it were real? Who's the jerk, here?!
Here's what Reddit had to say...
brisemartel writes:
YTA (You're the a-hole). Even if it wasn't the best prank in the world, it still was an harmless prank: done on April's Fool, with a mention this is a prank in the document itself, no one specifically targeted, it was a group prank, etc., etc.
You didn't like the prank, that happens and it is fine by itself. But to hold two months after a grudge big enough you are dropping out of the wedding out of spite? That is some serious overeaction here. Especially for a group prank where you were not specifically targeted.
Opposite-Guide-9925 says:
Yeah, I'm going with a YTA here. You didn't read it properly and leapt to righteous anger. A prank requires a trick is played on someone or it's not a prank. You didn't read to the end and therefore missed the part making it clear it was a prank.
I would suggest you're pissed at yourself for falling for something with April Fools written on it... Perhaps speak to someone about your anger issues? Something so ridiculous is something to laugh at, not get angry at.
equimot agrees:
It was so obviously an April fools joke too with some of those requests..majore YTA for throwing a strop about it.
ShottySHD asks:
Info: what made you so angry before you even finished reading?
OP answers:
All of the rules were so outrageous and she was being such a bridezilla that I got angry and didn’t finish.
But Upbeat-Poetry7672 has a different theory:
I think she's insecure about her weight. The main point of the post is how she thought her cousin wanted the bridesmaids to lose weight for the wedding and then proceeded to call her cousin fat.
Ohjustanaveragejoe concurs:
I agree. It seems weight related. If she was considerably larger than everyone else on the wedding party, I could understand how she felt singled out and an overall insensitive prank. But since she's not the largest, she's not being targeted whatsoever. Way, way over reacted.
Pizzacanzone thinks they're onto something:
That was my idea immediately, especially with her dropping numbers and calling her size 12 cousin 'even fatter ' than herself.
berriiwitch adds:
I was twitching when I read the word “prank,” bc usually on here “pranks” are code for “bullying,” but this one? Honestly, that’s pretty good. I was actually chuckling. And it said “April Fools” right on the PDF?? She didn’t let it go on for awhile? C'mon. You are ridiculous. YTA.
And finally, the former bridesmaid edits her original post to add:
Okay, clearly I’ve been deemed the AH and I’ll accept that, but I also realize that I didn’t explain my feelings very well. I was angry because all of the items in the list seemed to single me out.
Expensive dress and bachelorette? I make the least money out of everyone in the wedding party and it felt like a jab.
The sizing? Same thing, only me and two other BMs are bigger than size 8.
The hair? We all have long hair but I have the longest hair out of anyone in the wedding party.
The tanning? I work outdoors so I’m probably the one most likely to be tan. Everything I read on the list felt tailored to me.
So... did that change anyone's mind?
WhatAGirlWants5 says:
YTA, and your edit really doesn't make it better. You are taking something very personal, while it wasn't aimed at you at all. Your hair was the longest? So? Only you and the bride and 2 other BMs were over size 8? That is more than half the people this was sent to. You work outside so you'd be the tannest? Geez.
She apologized when you mentioned you were hurt. It's okay to feel hurt by a prank, but you are just sticking with it and blowing it way out of proportion. Time to reevaluate, so hopefully you can still fix your noew damaged relationships with your family.
Significant_Many1323 completely agrees:
Wait wait wait I don't care about the post really but did you say in the edit that you felt singled out cause only you and two out of 3 people are over size 8? And you think that's a valid reason to feel single out? That's 3/4 of you, 75% of the group and you're over here like well this is a personal attack to me. Ohmygod.