Bride bans brother's 'introverted' spouse from photos for 'ruining the aesthetic.'
Wedding photos can be a mess to coordinate: between family, friends, extended family, family-in-law...
But if one person is singled out, it's hard not to notice. And it's also hard not to notice the reason why. This was the case for one man who attended his sister's wedding, who ended up asking Reddit:
'AITA (Am I the A-hole) for leaving my sister’s wedding early because she kept my husband out of pictures?'
My (31M) sister Anne (34F) got married on Saturday. My husband of 7 years, Mark (32M), was there with me and up until one point, is was an amazing evening.
After the ceremony, Anne wanted a picture with all of our siblings (there’s five of us) and their respective partners so we started lining up.
When Anne saw that my husband was standing next to me, she shook her head and said something about him 'ruining the aesthetic'. Apparently, her plan was to put one man and one woman next to each other alternately.
My youngest sister (18F), who doesn’t have a partner and was standing on the very side, offered to stand between the two of us, so we could be close and Anne’s wish would still be respected.
Problem solved!
I thought that was a great solution, but Anne disagreed and told Mark to get out of the picture.
He’s quite introverted and tries to avoid confrontation under all circumstances, so he simply complied and told me not to get angry, but it was obvious that he was hurt and disappointed by being left out.
Obviously, it didn’t stop me from getting angry and I walked away with him.
Good for OP.
I can understand that Anne wants her wedding pictures to look exactly how she imagined them, but I think that the idea my younger sister proposed was very reasonable.
I congratulated Anne and her husband one last time, but then I said my goodbyes. When I was asked why we were leaving early (especially before taking the pictures), I said that I didn’t feel like our presence was wanted.
We left before dinner was served and I took Mark out to his favorite restaurant to cheer him up a little.
Anne has texted me since saying that I was being overdramatic and making a fuss over nothing.
Our parents have tried to remain neutral, but except for my youngest sister, the rest of the family supports Anne and thinks that leaving early was going too far and that I should’ve sucked it up instead of ruining her big day.
OP added:
Edited because there was some confusion: My husband is able bodied and white (so is most of my family), but we are indeed a gay couple.
What do you think? Is this a typical bridezilla move, or something else?
Here's what Reddit had to say...
NTA, your sister was being homophobic, and you did exactly what any husband should do. You could have given your sister the option of “either this compromise or we’re leaving because I won’t let my husband forced out of family photos when everyone else’s spouses are in it.”, or something similar, but I doubt it would have done any good. Give your husband a hug and tell him this internet stranger is sorry that he went through this.
You stood up for your husband, he's your nuclear family. Your sister is an AH, and the relatives who support her are enabling her behaviour.
Her 'excuse' of not wanting your husband in the picture was perfectly solved by your younger sister. It's obvious she just didn't want your husband in the picture, 'cause a picture with all her siblings with their partners would just not be complete without your husband of seven years. Love the way you took your husband to dinner instead.
NTA - You didn't ruin Anne's big day. She ruined it herself. Your sister tried to turn her homophobia into an 'aesthetic,' my goodness. The nerve of this woman. I'm so sorry for you and your partner having to experience that.
She's a gigantic a-hole. I'm sorry this happened to you. You and your husband deserve multiple huge apologies. I would have left too. What she did is so dehumanizing. I wouldn't have felt comfortable hanging around her wedding.
There's no grey area here...
Just a big ol' a-hole in a wedding gown.