Bride demands friend get pixie cut, family expects her to 'look like a boy;' AITA?

Bridezillas have been known to make extreme demands when it comes to bridesmaids' dresses, covering tattoos, or providing unpaid labor as a forced staff for 6+ months...

Still, asking your friends to cut their hair off for your 8 hour event is such a completely ridiculous request that it's borderline impressive. The bridezillas are getting bolder and more inspiring with each passing wedding trend.

So, when a frustrated guest decided to consult the moral compass of the internet about a debate over her former famous pixie cut, the jury of internet strangers was ready to help.

'AITA (Am I the As*hole) for refusing to cut my hair for my friend's wedding?'

I have wavy brown hair. I used to have a pixie cut, which I maintained for six years. While I did love it, the main reason why I kept cutting it short was because it looked awful whenever it grew longer.

Last year, it started growing well for the first time in forever, so I decided to grow it out. I haven't gotten a haircut since January 2022, and my hair is now just past my shoulders. I have no interest in cutting it shorter right now.

Anyway, my childhood friend 'Ally' is getting married next month. Last week, I saw her for the first time in a while at our friend's birthday party. The first thing she did when she spotted me was comment on my hair, saying she was shocked it looked as pretty as it did.

The next day, Ally called to say she wanted me to get a pixie cut again for her wedding day. I was a bit shocked, but politely declined.

As much as I loved having short hair, I had to get it cut every 3 months to keep the hairstyle. If I didn't, I'd get a mullet that would put Hulk Hogan to shame. I have my own wedding coming up next year, and I want my hair to be longer by then.

Also, while it's not too far off my budget to get 4 haircuts a year, I had a baby 3 months ago, and I'd rather spend that money on diapers and clothing.

Ally got more forceful, demanding me to do it. She said that her family, who hasn't seen me in years, still thinks I 'look like a boy', and that seeing me with longer, more 'feminine' hair would take her spotlight.

I'm wearing a dress to the wedding, and my boobs have increased twice in size since I started breastfeeding, so I don't think I'd 'look like a boy' even if I did get a pixie cut, but oh well.

I offered to wear a wig (my friend has one he can lend me), but nope. She wants me to cut it. I might've considered her request if I was in the wedding party, but I'm not. I'm just a guest. Ally hasn't banned me from the wedding or anything drastic, but is clearly bitter about this.

She's been making passive-aggressive comments about my refusal in our group chat, and keeps sending me old pictures of us from when my hair was still short. I really don't want to budge on this, but I'm starting to doubt myself. AITA?

Yikes...this bride needs a severe TLC-worthy reality TV slap. Here's what people had to say:

GreenEyedKittyCat said:

Even if you were in the wedding party, she doesn’t have the right to demand you cut your hair. She sounds deeply insecure and very controlling. NTA for holding your ground against bridezilla.

LuckySomewhere said:

OMG, no, NTA. Don't go to this woman's wedding. In fact, block her on everything. What a toxic weirdo.

crimejunkiefan said:

You are in a VERY TOXIC 'friend' group. None of this falls under normal or acceptable behavior. You should want and do better for yourself because you are a young mother and sound like a decent person. The world won't implode if you find and nurture new healthy friendships.

silly_vengeful_sloth said:

Ally is NOT your friend. She’s toxic and jealous AF! Don’t you dare cut your hair just to appease that woman. I don’t understand these bridezillas thinking it’s okay to harass and treat people like sh*t because it’s their wedding. Wtf is wrong with people!!!

If I were you, I wouldn’t even go to the wedding. If she keeps insisting for you to cut your hair and harassing you about it in your friend group chat, then fire back and calmly say you’re no longer attending the wedding because you can’t take her harassment of your hair anymore. She wants to make passive aggressive comments, then you can tell the truth. NTA.

msttfn said:

NTA! Your head, your choice. She has zero right to dictate a guest's hairstyle. Even if you were in the wedding party she might suggest a style for your hair's length but cutting it is not for anyone else to decide. If she continues to badger you, don't attend.

Zhansaya18 said:

NTA. Why do you have to do it just because she wants it. It's your hair, you decide what to do with it and only you. And if you don't want it, then don't do it.

Fragrant-Algae1945 said:

NTA. She has no say in your hair at all even if you were in the wedding party and most definitely not as a guest!!

nomusicnolove said:

NTA. Your friend sucks. That’s really all I have to say on the matter. She’s not even really your friend. She doesn’t care about your feelings/finances or situation. You’re not even a bridesmaid so you’re not going to be in all the pictures or anything like that. This is a serious red flag and I would seriously reconsider this friendship.

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this friend should probably just decline the wedding invitation and stay home to maintain her gorgeous long hair. Asking bridesmaids to change their appearance for a wedding is insane, but asking a guest to chop all their hair off because you're worried they'll steal the spotlight?

The spotlight can easily find the one woman in a big white wedding gown. Good luck, everyone.