Bride makes friend 'cover up' skin condition so guests won't be 'queasy during dinner.'
Weddings are stressful, even as an attendee. Planning your look to fit the bride's request is not unusual, but how much is the bride allowed to demand?
When a young woman attended her friend's wedding, the bride made a request so bold that Reddit simply had to weigh in. Here's the story:
'AITA for leaving my friend's wedding when she told me I needed to cover up my psoriasis?'
Wonderful-Target3072 writes:
I (24F) have psoriasis. It’s all over my body and presents like vitiligo in a way, just so you can get an image in your head. I have medicated cream that helps with the itchiness, and also it helps with the dryness. The psoriasis is all over my body with it stopping right on my neck, and I do have a few spots on the sides of my face near my ears.
I’ve always been pretty embarrassed as I cannot cake on enough makeup to truly cover my psoriasis as it is textured and thick. On top of that, no matter what I do or however I attempt to apply said makeup, it always looks horrible. My doctor also recommended not to smother the areas with makeup as it tends to make it worse and itchier.
Anyways, onto the story. My friend's wedding was on Saturday and of course, I was invited. I bought a dress that would cover my body fairly well as I really didn’t want to draw any attention to myself.
The entire week leading up to the wedding I was continuously testing concealers on the remaining spots that were exposed, which only made me itchy and I basically scratched my skin raw. With psoriasis, those areas sometimes bleed if I scratch too much, which is what happened.
My boyfriend who was attending the wedding with me told me I shouldn’t worry about it and that it would be better if I stopped trying to cover them as it was just making it worse. I reluctantly agreed, and we attended the wedding ceremony. It was great, I was extremely happy for my friend and her now husband.
But as we were leaving to go to cocktail hour, she pulled me aside and asked if I was going home to cover my psoriasis.
I was a little taken aback and explained I couldn’t as the entire week I had been testing concealers and it made it 20 times worse. She told me she didn’t care and that this was her wedding and she didn’t want her guests asking me questions or feeling queasy during dinner.
My boyfriend stepped in and told her if that was the case we would be leaving and not attending the rest of the wedding. She was pissed off and extremely angry at that choice, and ever since then she’s been ranting to our friends about it. AITA (Am I the a-hole) here?
If only there was a word for brides who act like monsters...
Here's what Reddit had to say on the matter: a unanimous NTA (not the a-hole)
etds3 writes:
NTA. She’s a raging AH. “Oh I’m so sorry that the skin condition I live with 24/7/365 might pull a single iota of attention from you on your wedding day. Let me go put makeup on my skin, irritating it so it will BLEED later.” Long answer short: you don’t get to ask anyone to bleed for your wedding. That is not in the same galaxy as as a reasonable request.
cbm984 says:
You expect to hear comments like that from toddlers who don't know any better, not a fully grown woman who considered you a friend. I get that it's her wedding day but that doesn't give her cart blanche to treat people like sh*t. And to suggest that people eating dinner near you would be queasy??? What???
It's psoriasis, not maggots falling out of your hair. But something tells me she's too self-involved to know that. I'm sorry she treated you that way, but I'm glad your boyfriend stood up for you and your friends now realize what kind of person she really is.
Kassy_XOXO agrees:
NTA. That would be the day our friendship ended and her blocked on everything, don’t want her to be “queasy” from having to see the psoriasis. Also any friends that agree with her, are no longer mutual friends either.
CuriousTsukihime comments:
Boyfriend is 100% a keeper tho. That guy fucks. I hope your relationship is blessed and your ex-friend gets her ass handed to her. What a terrible thing to say.
And OP responds:
The entire car ride home he kept asking if I needed anything, he felt bad that I needed to hear that. He's been there through a lot of stuff so seeing someone, especially someone I considered my close friend say something like that was hard for him.